The Free Country USA Breakfast Massacre: The Ween Toon 2012

summary: Homestar, Strong Bad, and the rest have been trapped in the breakfast massacre, of many massacres.

CAST: Strong Bad, Robstar Roundhat, Strong Mad, The Cheat, Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Pom Pom, Bubs, Coach Z, The King of Town, Homeschool Winner, The Poopsmith, Homsar (easter egg),

Scene: Computer Room,

Page Title: T-Weenty-Twelve (No Tween here)

Date: October 2012

Transcript

{toon opens up in Strong Bad's computer room}

STRONG BAD: just when I expected another email, it's Halloween time, where all the candies fly in pizza boxes, kinda like Little Caesars boxes. Ain't that right, Robstar SquareHat?

ROBSTAR: {enters the screen with his face being unsure} Um, yeah, sure. {his face changes normally}

STRONG BAD: Anyway, what are you doing for Halloween?

ROBSTAR: Um, I don't know what I'm-

STRONG BAD: Shut up. For me, I'm going to the abandoned breakfast slaughterhouse and it's gonna be from Mexicola!

ROBSTAR: Oh yeah, same place I'm going to.

STRONG BAD: Hmm, sweet. Where's Strong Mad and the Cheat?

ROBSTAR: Oh crap, I hate to tell you this, but, it's ugly, for S. Mad, and Cheatser here.

STRONG BAD: WHAT?

{scene cuts to the Free Country Slaughterhouse}

STRONG MAD: I SMELL EGGS ON ROASTED DOZEN PARTY BAGS!!

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat gets scared} meh-oh!

{the Cheat and Strong Mad get scared of a distorted screeching voice out of nowhere, as the theme song to the cartoon plays, the title card says, "THIS IS A WEEN CARTOON CALLED..." and fades to "THE FREE COUNTRY USA BREAKFAST MASSACRE!" and then the scene cuts to Homestar's house with Homestar at the couch}

HOMESTAR: My god, i can't believe i don't have a tube. Marzipan, where's mah TV?

MARZIPAN: {appears out of nowhere} Seriously, Homestar? Why can't you go trick or treating?

HOMESTAR: Well, because it's too 2-esque!

MARZIPAN: So basically, you are like a 2-year-old?

HOMESTAR: Kinda.

{Strong Bad knocks on the door}

HOMESTAR: Come in you little wascal. I mean rascal.

{Strong Bad and Robstar come in the scene}

ROBSTAR: We need your help! {slaps Homestar's face} What did you do to the NBC Fall schedule of this year? {slaps Homestar's face again} Do you know why the grocery store was robbed? {slaps Hoemstar's face again} Who is Darkman?!

HOMESTAR: You know, it doesn't hurt me.

ROBSTAR: Why do-

STRONG BAD: Quiet you, i got this. Anyway, there is a guy in the slaughterhouse who killed my Strong Mad, and my the Cheat. Do you know who it is?

HOMESTAR: Not that i know of.

STRONG BAD: Wait, you don't? How about you come with?

HOMESTAR: yo, nes, yes, no. Wait, what?

STRONG BAD: {sigh} Let's just go.

{scene cuts to the Most of the Graveyard with Pom Pom, Strong Bad, Homestar, and Robstar}

STRONG BAD: Hey dar, Pom Pom.

HOMESTAR: Yo, Pom Pom.

POM POM: {waves}

HOMESTAR:Um, we need help.

POM POM: {bubble noises as he gives Homestar, Strong Bad, and Robstar the map}

ROBSTAR: Hey thanks!

STRONG BAD: Until then, come with us!

POM POM: {bubble noises}

HOMESTAR: Well, what else, we have to find the Cheat Mad and the Cheat Cheat.

STRONG BAD: And you need to come with!

'POM POM: {bubble noises}

HOMESTAR: Suite sweet! Let's go!

{scene cuts to Bubs Concession Stand with Bubs and Coach Z}

BUBS: Remember, Z, I sell halloween costumes and ween costume accessories.

COACH Z: You're not troing, Bibs.

BUBS: Either do you.

{Strong Bad, Homestar, Pom Pom, and Robstar appear on screen}

STRONG BAD: Hey ho! i was wondering, um... WHO IS THAT GUY?!

COACH Z: Who?

STRONG BAD: Nevermind, let's go.

BUBS: So wait, what's the point of this?

HOMESTAR: Do you want me to explain the explanatory? It was dark in the slaughterhouse of Free Country USA. It was when heaven broke loose and the Hello-there-bro, came about. The mysterious person used a fork and butter knife with bacon and eggs.

COACH Z: Erh?

HOMESTAR: You haven't listened to Strong Bad and Robstar Roundhat's conversation at the beginning of the cartoon?

BUBS and COACH Z: No?

HOMESTAR: Okay, it's your funeral.

{Homestar, Strong Bad, Robstar, and Pom Pom leave}

BUBS: Well, that was somewhat a broken tooth thing.

{a screeching distorted voice appears again}

VOICE: Come here.

COACH Z: I knor it worz you.

BUBS: Me? I don't have that kind-of voice.

COACH Z: Then who is-

{Bubs and Coach Z get kidnapped out of nowhere, as the scene cuts to The King of Town's castle}

KING OF TOWN: Boooooop! Boooooop! Boooooop! We have an alert, there is a missing napkin. Homeschool?! {as camera pans to the left}

HOMESCHOOL: {sighs} What is it?

KING OF TOWN: I can't find my napkin because it's not here.

HOMESCHOOL: Yeah, that's obvious, come up with something new.

KING OF TOWN: Well, I invited you here so that you can secure my bathhouse and be my main man. Am I right? Huh? Huh?

HOMESCHOOL: No?

{the bricks on the wall fall as a mysterious person with the distorted screeching voice appears, with the Poopsmith in his hand, and Homeschool and King of Town ran away}

KING OF TOWN: {as he runs offscreen} I heart Huckabees! Do I even get paid to say that?

{cuts to a Strong Sad's room}

STRONG SAD:No way they gon' get me. I am the real sad man. Sometimes with my costume I could be happy.

VOICE: {appears out of nowhere} You're next.

STRONG SAD: i knew this was coming three days from now. I'm gonna get my paperbags.

{scene cuts outside Strong Sad's room, where we see Strong Bad, Homestar, Pom Pom, and Robstar}

STRONG BAD: It's a-hopeless-a. Now we're never gonna investigate who this mysterious person is?

HOMESTAR: Welp, i did actually investigate.

STRONG BAD: What? What are you talking about?

HOMESTAR: Yeah, I did for my Uncle Roy.

ROBSTAR: Wait a sec, what did you investigate?

HOMESTAR: Well Homestar, it's a massacre for breakfast.

ROBSTAR: Wait, aren't YOU Homestar?

HOMESTAR: Good one, Pom Pom. Anyway, I found out that the one who has been using the breakfast massacre is somebody we know of. Leatherlicious!

{dramatic sting plays}

STRONG BAD: Um... I don't get it.

HOMESTAR: Well, {as frightening music plays} it at started a long time ago. {as scene cuts to the stick with Leatherlicious, as Homestar talks offscreen} Leatherlicious used the waffle mixer for his contest at Free Country USA's Food Battle. {scene cuts to the contest at the gym} He failed so much so, that he left the contest... {camera pans to the maggot pies} to use maggot pies for people to eat. As this happened, {scene cuts to the grocery store} the people tried it at the local grocery store, but ended up turning into midgets, and got the jibblies out of their spines. {Senor Cardgage appears turning into a goblin} Leatherlicious also had fresh baked frozen spider pizza, with flies as pepperoni! And then, {scene cuts back to Homestar talking} Leatherlicious went to the slaughterhouse, an abandon one at that, and yeah that's what happened. {frightening music ends} So there you go. Leatherlicious is on the lose-EEEEE!

STRONG BAD: I... don't get it.

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