The Choom Gang Riffs Noxigar's Riffs of The Choom Gang's Riffs/mft3kmain/Bell Quest/2

CHWOKA: {singing} On the road agaaaaaaaaaain!

{Im a Bell, Bellson, Badstar, Vegerot, Homsar, Homeschool, Homestar, That German Guy, Pter, Kyubii and Neo-Stinkomech are in front of a machine that say's portal to 30X2.}

SKULLB: {sing-song} Re-ject Roll Call!

NOXIGAR: Another MST3K reference, I presume? How witty.

NACHOMAN: YES I AM A MSTIE AND I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS PARODY DOES THE SHOW JUSTICE

NEOSTINKOMECH: Okay, the map says we must go through here.

VEGEROT: Uhh... how did a map fly here from 10W5 years in the future?

IM A BELL: That doesn't matter.

CHWOKA: SCIENTIFIC INQUIRY BE DAMNED.

Wait, Neo,

BLUEBRY: TANK, LOAD US UP.

did I invite you?

{Badstar looks at the map.}

BADSTAR: Uhh... no, it does not say that. I thought we were going to 30X2 just to get Anthru-Borg and Kraxario.

IM A BELL: Oh, right. Wait... there in 5 A.T. (after time), remember?

SKULLB: No, I totally remember your stupid made-up science.

NOXIGAR: Amazing vocabulary is amazing, SkullB.

NACHOMAN: How can you call us unoriginal and unfunny when you've used this same joke FOUR FUCKING TIMES NOW?
SKUB: Well, Dylan, I feel that Noxigar's joke more accurately portrays the vision that Mike and the robots intended for Mystery Science Theater 3000. For the win.

The fic? Um... Fourth Wall break? 42? Parsley Fruit? Ever Plever Jever Jevery Jibevery... Jlammy? Aw, crap, I screwed it up!

SKULLB: What, the joke or the fic?

BADSTAR: Oh. We'll need a new machine, then.

HOMESCHOOL: Well, if i just twist this knob here, type a virus into here, and give this piece o' crap a hot cup of tea, press this button here, and voila! An Infinite Improbability Drive! Oh, wait, you wanted a portal to 5 A.T.... Okay... prees

BLUEBRY: You need more than one pree to continue.

NOXIGAR: And an accent is sorely misunderstood.

NACHOMAN: Speaking of things that were misunderstood, take a look at this joke!

this button, give it some mountain dew, and light these antennae on fire... there! Okay, let's go!

{Badstar jumps in the portal}

{30 MINUTES LATER...}

ANTHRU-BORG: Why the heck should we do something that is not evil?

BLUEBRY: TO GAIN +50 PARAGON

NOXIGAR: AND LOSE -50 DKP

NACHOMAN: donkey kong points? some sort of kingdom hearts reference? man I bet this joke would be hilarious if i knew what the hell it meant
SKUB: wideo games

IM A BELL: If you join us, I'll give you two free portable portals to that female Aruseus and Lucario planet. Oh, and, I'll destroy that annoying farmer Lucario.

CHWOKA: Planet of the Perverts.
SKULLB: This just became Pokemon slash fiction. I'm gonna be sick.

NOXIGAR: Feel better soon, SkullB. In fact, I recommend Vallium.

SKUB: Is that... a threat? Or is it like some sagely advice?

KRAXARIO: Sounds good! Master, what do you think?

ANTHRU-BORG: Okay, fine.

{Cut to Bubs' stand. everybody is there.}

CHWOKA: All 80 billion of them?
SKULLB: 80 billion and three, mind you.

IM A BELL: Bubs, do you have any cars with ALOT of seats that actually works?

BUBS: Well, I got...

{cut to a blank screen. things appear as Bubs says them}

BUBS:{voiceover} A limo chassis, 20 fresh seats, an old engine, a pie,

BLUEBRY: Oh Jesus. bring the rapture and save me from this sick hell.

NOXIGAR: I wish I could bring you a rapture, but I just remembered it's spelled "raptor" and they're extinct.

NACHOMAN: More evidence that Noxigar has a very thin grasp on the English language!
SKUB: NO GODS OR KINGS, ONLY DINOSAURS

and a gigantic novelty mug WITH tea...

{cut back to the stand}

BUBS: ...But I ain't got no full car with a lotta seats! Sorry, guys.

HOMESCHOOL: Don't worry, I'll buy the parts and make a car!

CHWOKA: I can totally lift an engine block all by myself!

{Homeschool hands Bubs $200. Bubs gives him the car parts and thee

BLUEBRY: BY THEE, OLD CAPULET AND MONTAGUE.

gigantic mug with tea in it}

HOMESCHOOL: Thanks!

{Homeschool walks offscreen. Construction-type noises can be heard. pan out to show a Limousine with rocket-engines strapped to it's back}

HOMESCHOOL: Come on!

SKULLB: My sentiments exactly.

EVERYONE ELSE: WOAH!!!!!

{Cut to everybody in the car. Badstar is holding the map.}

BELLSON: CAN I DRIVE!?

IM A BELL: Uhh... no. Aren't you like, Twelve? Vegerot, you can drive!

VEGEROT: Thanks.

BELLSON: W-waitaminute! He's a Cheat! that's worse than being twelve and i'm not even 12! I'm 20!

BLUEBRY: You type like you're twelve.

BADSTAR: He's right. Vegerot can't see over the steering wheel.

IM A BELL: Uhh... guys? Don't anger Vegerot like that. He might-

VEGEROT: Get outta the car. NOW!

{Vegerot, Badstar, and Bellson exit the limo. An explosion can be seen through the window}

BELLSON: Ahh! The fire on me is burning!

SKULLB: IS THIS BURNIIIIING AN ETERNAL FLAAAAAAAAME

{AN HOUR LATER...}

IM A BELL: Can we go now?

VEGEROT: Fine.

{Vegerot starts the car. the limo warps away}

CHWOKA: Wait, Bubs never said anything about a warp drive... or any parts that you need to make a car besides the engine and chassis. Does this thing even meet safety standards?
SKULLB: It's actually just a Radio Flyer with flaming decals. Funny how those things work, eh?

NOXIGAR: Specifics sure are important, aren't they?

NACHOMAN: Wow, he's running so low on jokes (and I use that term lightly) that he has to repeat the jokes from two pages earlier.
SKUB: Repetition makes Noxigar violently ill unless he's repeating his own classics.
BLUEBRY: Repetitive joke is repetitive.

{2 MINUTES LATER...}

CHWOKA: Pay attention! This is high comedy, right here. You can learn from this.
SKULLB: I'm taking notes as we speak!

{Vegerot is driving the car on the road.}

SKULLB: GENIUS
CHWOKA: I expected him to be driving in the water.

BELLSON: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

SKULLB: So... this is a trainwreck. I'm off to go get a sandwich.

NOXIGAR: And you can tell because of this paragraph of repetitive humour?

BLUEBRY: ...yeah

Well, then. Have a nice sandwich.

NACHOMAN: oh shit skub he's-- uh. uh. this isn't a riff. what is this
SKUB: I'm legitimately confused by this.

Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

CHWOKA: Remember that time on Futurama when they did that? Yeah, that was funny. This isn't.

NOXIGAR: I don't even think that's what is being referenced. And even so, that part wouldn't be funny on Futurama either.

SKUB: I think he has a point that the "are we there yet" gag is overused, but my unbridled hate for Noxigar completely overshadows any valid arguments he has or will ever make.

Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we theAre we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

VEGEROT: Grrrrr...

{cut to the outside of the limo. Bellson flies out of the limo. He gets up, and chases after it. 1 half hour later, Bellson get's back in the limo.}

EVERYBODY EXCEPT VEGEROT, IM A BELL, AND BADSTAR: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

SKULLB: I'm back! Did I miss anything?

BLUEBRY: Only some cringing dialogue.
CHWOKA: Monologue!

SKULLB: Is this funny? My brian brain shorted out on me a couple minutes ago.

NOXIGAR: TMI, SkullB. TMI.

NACHOMAN: Noxigar, no. Please stop. You can't write. You don't understand humor. Please. Just stop.
SKUB: That was too much information. What I divulged was too much information for Noxigar.

Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

SKULLB: hahaha it's funny because it's god-awful

Are we theAre we there yet?

CHWOKA: The quickest time skip in the world!

Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

{cut to 1 half hour later. everyone except Vegerot, Badstar, and Im a bell are tied up and gagged}

CHWOKA: Pfft, half hour. Wimps. I can tie up everyone in the world in 5 minutes.

NOXIGAR: Good for you, Chwoka. Good for you.

IM A BELL: Turn left here. Hang right. We're juuust about here-LOOK OUT FOR THAT CLIFF!

BLUEBRY: IS IT SPOOK CLIFF?

END OF CHAPTER 2!

SKULLB: There is a God after all!

NOXIGAR: If your basis of God's existence is whether or not they make it to Spook Cliff,

BLUEBRY: SPOOK CLIFF

I feel sorry for you.

NACHOMAN: IT'S BASED OFF THE FACT THAT IT'S OVER! HE'S HAPPY BECAUSE IT'S OVER! HOW AGGRESSIVELY IGNORANT CAN YOU FUCKING BE??
SKUB: if god esn't reeal tehn how cmoe the spooks clip is thare??? CIRSTIANS 1 ATHETHIAST 0