Difference between revisions of "The Choom Gang Riffs Noxigar's Riffs of The Choom Gang's Riffs/mft3kmain/Bell Quest/1"

Latest revision as of 22:32, 6 February 2011 (view source) Bluebry (talk | contribs) (riff)

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Latest revision as of 22:32, 6 February 2011

NARRATOR: Hello. I bet you are wondering,

BLUEBRY: No.

NOXIGAR: Okay, this isn't funny. You could at least wait until the Narrator is done with his sentence,

BLUEBRY: oh i dont do that

and then riff it. Now the context is lost.

NACHOMAN: Hello, and welcome back to a little game I like to call, "HOW MANY TIMES WILL NOXIGAR MISS THE JOKE?" I'm your host, NachoMan, and today's game is off to a wonderful start! In our first round, we see that Noxigar has decided to dissect a joke in a serious matter! Only one problem though: Bluebry is never serious! Looks like Noxigar Completely Missed the Joke! Let's watch and see what happens.

who were those people

BLUEBRY: No.

and why did they just capture Bling?

BLUEBRY: Not in the least.

Well, let's see..

{Cut to an underground lab. Two dark, unseeable figures

CHWOKA: If they're unseeable, how do we know that they are there?
SKULLB: Once again, the author shows his mastery over words that don't exist. Unseeable?

NOXIGAR: Raiku already got the dictionary for this, too.

NACHOMAN: Uh-oh! We see here that poor Noxigar has tried to make some sort of joke, but because it makes no sense, nobody laughs! I guess we, the viewers, could be said to have "missed the joke"! {chuckles}

are staring at a monitor. On the monitor, Bling is in his bed, asleep.}

BLUEBRY: Are these men 40 and on Myspace as 12 year olds by chance?
SKULLB: What gets me is that they're taking time out of their day to watch some stupid bell cat.

NARRATOR: But, nevermind that now, let's see what Im a bell's doing.

CHWOKA: I have a feeling I'm not going to like this "Im a Bell" fellow...
SKULLB: Who cares about plot progression? Let's go visit the author surrogate original character!

NOXIGAR: ...aren't you guys author surrogates?

NACHOMAN: In this round, we see Noxigar almost grasping that there may be a joke here, but in the end falls just barely short of attaining it.

HOMESTAR: You said Doing {pronounces this like "boing"}!

{cut to Im a bell's computer room}

BLUEBRY: An entire room for one computer? Is this 1976?

NOXIGAR: No, it's called a computer room. Find one.

NACHOMAN: Oh, woe is Noxigar! His limited grasp of living in the 21st century have caused him to miss Bluebry's joke! But can you blame him? After all, rooms dedicated only to a computer may be commonplace in whatever wacko-plain of reality he lives in. And "find one"? Are we being told to find a computer room? Who knows!

IM A BELL: Hey, where's Bling?

Captured

Dear Im a bell,
We have captured Bling. Please get Badstar, and whoever else you want and bring them to some random

BLUEBRY: LOL RANDOM

place. You'll probably see us. Whoever we are.
From
Anonymous Evils

attatchment

CHWOKA: Mein eyes!
SKULLB: Is it... is it possible to have a seizure and throw up at the same time?

NOXIGAR: I don't know, but why don't you go try it?

NACHOMAN: Skullbuggy's comment indicates that the horror that is Bell Quest is making him want to both have a seizure and vomit profusely. Noxigar, however, takes the joke as a question. He tries to answer it, but it only furthers his own humiliation!

IM A BELL: Bling... KIDNAPPED?!!! NOOO!!!-Hey, an attachment!

SKULLB: I'm willing to bet Bling is like Bell's neglected cat. I don't think he even cares--he just wants a reason to yell.

NOXIGAR: How much are you willing to bet? {grins wickedly}

NACHOMAN: Noxigar is greedy and seriously believes that Skullbuggy would be willing to bet money on whether or not Bling is like a neglected cat. And his teeth are probably messed up and crooked. Moving on!

{Im a bell clicks the attatchment. the words "Alphacram.exe re-installed! Well, that sucks!" appear onscreen}

SKULLB: "Bell made a fiction! Well, that sucks!"

IM A BELL: Alpha Cram? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Oh, hey Badstar.

BLUEBRY: Quick question, what the hell is Alpha Cram?

NOXIGAR: Well, Bluebry, it's a program and- eh, you probably don't care.

NACHOMAN: Bluebry's comment is warranted! Prior to this event there are no mentions of the "alpha cram", so his confusion is justified. Noxigar begins to grasp the concept of "cynicism", but it's juuuuuust out of his reach!
BLUEBRY: noxigar i realized its a program and no i really dont care

BADSTAR: What's up? Bling Kidnapped? ALPHA CRAM RE-INSTALLED? NOOOO!!!!!!!

CHWOKA: Wait, when did he get here? Is he always here, like a stationary object, and is thus needing no introduction as a feature of the room?
SKULLB: I'm noticing that this computer program is taking precedence over a stolen cat. These guys should be arrested.

IM A BELL & BADSTAR: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SKULLB: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh God this is the worst thing I've ever seen.

NOXIGAR: And you're only on the first chapter, mind you. I think this could get better.

NACHOMAN: Noxigar has a hard time picking up on trends and patterns.
BLUEBRY: it actually does not get better

IM A BELL: So, who should we bring?

BLUEBRY: Bring a shovel, I think my soul is dying.

NOXIGAR: You should use that shovel to smack that doctor in the head, then bury him alive.

BLUEBRY: i had no idea what this meant so i googled it figuring it would be a quote and it isnt so seriously, what the hell

IM A BELL: I think my cousin could help!

BADSTAR: Good idea! Let's bring Vegerot!

SKULLB: I'm betting Bell wondered, "how can I fit more anime into this?"

IM A BELL: How about Home-

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Me?!!!!

BLUEBRY: Oh cool, more characters coming out of nowhere!

NOXIGAR: Seeing as this was on the HRFWiki originally, you should expect Homestar Runner characters.

NACHOMAN: Yes Noxigar, you should, especially when they're awkwardly shoehorned in to avoid breaking the rules!

IM A BELL: -school. Let's bring Homeschool. Oh, and Hom-

HOMESTAR: ME?!!!

IM A BELL: -sar. Homsar should come with us. Oh, and-

HOMESTAR: MEEEE?!!!!! Pleeeeaase? Can I come?!

IM A BELL: -Kraxario & Anthru-Borg. Hey, Homestar, you wanna come, too?

CHWOKA: Why bring these people? The H*R.com people will never ever get mentioned again.
SKULLB: "I'm tired of thinking. I'll let other people make these characters!"

HOMESTAR:{annoyed and tired} I guess so. {whispering} Pain-in-the-

VEGEROT: We need to bring this to the HIA's attention.

CHWOKA: You really don't.
SKULLB: The Federal Bureau of Misused Filler's gonna know about this.

NOXIGAR: On the contrary, if Bell Quest is so awful as you claim it is they won't.

NACHOMAN: Once again we see that Noxigar is making absolutely no sense. But it is to be expected at this point.

HOMESCHOOL: Yeah, I think that's a good idea.

IM A BELL: Homeschool? Since when have you been out of randospace?

HOMESCHOOL: Oh, a few hours. You know who we should bring?!! Ebeneezer Finklehöller!

IM A BELL: Why that jerk?

BADSTAR: Let's bring Pter and Kyubii.

BLUEBRY: Let's ignore questions in an effort to see how many people we can fit into our entourage!

IM A BELL: Grood ideer!

SKULLB: I'm really admiring how many liberties Bell's taking with spelling, grammar and diction. Hell, he's just tearing the English language a new one. Bra-vo!

NOXIGAR: {sarcastically} Since a Coach Z impression is destroying anything and not just an accent of which is being used.

NACHOMAN: Remember, kids! When riffing someone who is commenting on the butchering of language, it is important to have a grasp on the language as well. Unfortunately, judging by this line, we see English is Noxigar's sixth or seventh language.

Y'know what? I think this is enough.

SKULLB: Oh, please end it now.

{Noxigar sighs}

NACHOMAN: Noxigar finds shrugs and sighs to be endlessly hilarious.

Lesse,

SKULLB: Ah, damnit.

Me, Badstar, Bellson, Vegerot, Homeschool, Homsar, Kraxario, Anthru-Borg, Homestar, Ebeneezer Finklehöller, Pter, and Kyubii... Yeah, that's enough!

BLUEBRY: Watch as it's not enough and the cast doubles by the third chapter.

NOXIGAR: That's up to the author, thank you.

BLUEBRY: oh youre right i was so foolish back then!
NACHOMAN: Noxigar believes shitty writing is excused at all times because THAT'S HOW THE AUTHOR WANTS IT.

{Cut to the lair of the two evil guy's. One of them is looking at Bling, who is in a cage.}

????-?????: Hello, Bling! BWAHAHA!!!

?? ? ????: {Offscreen.}Hey, come look at this! This will sure give you a laugh!

CHWOKA: Surely will? Sure will?
SKULLB: This will sure give you an aneurysm!

NOXIGAR: That was the least of this part you could've nitpicked.

NACHOMAN: More grammar troubles!

????-?????: What?

{????-????? walk's

BLUEBRY: Walk is

over to where the two boss evil guys.

BLUEBRY: Said the sentence fragment.

The boss guy's

BLUEBRY: Guy is

are looking at a monitor.}

?????: It's those fools! they actually think they can find us! What they don't know is that our lair is located on... THE EXTREMELY SPOOK CLIFF!

SKULLB: NOT THE SPOOK CLIFF

NOXIGAR: SPOOK CLIFF was your witty one-liner for describing Bell Quest on the MFT3K main page! Yes, the SPOOK CLIFF.

NACHOMAN: Any sort of repetition sends Noxigar into a rampage.

THE ONLY WAY THEY CAN MAKE IT HERE IS IF THEY HAVE THIS MAP!!! {Holds up a map. A wind blow the map out of his hands and out a window.}

SKULLB: Only one wind. No more, no less.

????-?????: Aw, sh-

BLUEBRY: Yeah I know, it's as painful for us too.

{cut back to the computer room}

IM A BELL: Wait, how are we gonna find-

{a map flies into Im a bell's eye}

IM A BELL: GWAAAH!!!!!

SKULLB: I got a papercut and it really hurts!!!!!!

NOXIGAR: Or he's surprised by the acquisition of a map and collision with it.

NACHOMAN: Noxigar fails to understand how people react to surprises. This is understandable seeing as how he lives alone in an abandoned warehouse somewhere.

VEGEROT: Hey, it's a map to the kidnsapper's lair!

BLUEBRY: KID'N'SAPPER, BUY ONE TODAY!

END OF CHAPTER 1

NACHOMAN: Well that's the end of our show! I hope you were keeping track of how many times Noxigar missed the joke, because I certainly wasn't! Thanks for playing, and see you next time! You fuckers.