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RiffText/The metal detector!

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RYAN: Hello, friends, guys I like, and guys I hate! Now, what is this you ask? Why, I'm riffing an insanely long text fiction to find out how to do this riff stuff. Anyway, I've scouted for the WORST and most VILE text fictions, and I come across this.

You are Captcha you open your Metal detector to find something.

RYAN: I've opened my metal detector and found wires...

Ready to start level 1?

RYAN: No, I wanna skip to level forty-leven. What the hell do you think?

Yes!
No!

RYAN: Ok, I'm not dumb enough to press no, but I'll do it for kicks.