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| − | ''{open to black. Fade in. the camera zooms in on a map of the land of Gwid, towards the "Ponnor Forest", past that to a large forest, then inwards to a series of large stone turds. The zoom slows up as it comes towards one of many small, pear-shaped openings in the turd, which is labeled "417". Fade into the inside of the opening. Puffbat is spinning around on a top. The top falls over and he bonks his head. Suddenly, a ding is heard from his computer. Puffbat waddles over to the computer and winds it up, and then sits down to check his email.}''
| + | {{Tobedeleted}} |
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| − | '''PUFFBAT:''' ''{subtitles as he pants}'' Oh, somewhere... over the email... creep-nerds sing...
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| − | <blockquote class="puffbat">
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| − | <div>subj: relations</div>
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| − | Dear Captain Puffbeard,<br/>
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| − | Are Puffbats genetically related to humans in any way?<br/>
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| − | Sincerely,<br/>
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| − | Captain Bellstrom<br/><br/>
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| − | P.S. YARR</blockquote>
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| − | ''{Puffbat reads the email, muttering to himself, then begins to type.}''
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| − | '''PUFFBAT:''' ''{panting as he types}'' Ahoy, Captain Bellstrom! Although I'm no captain, you can call me Captain Puffbeard... anyways, are Puffbats related to humans? Let's look it up!
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| − | ''{cut to a Puffbattian library. Puffbat is flipping through a book made out of a matchbook. A librarian sits in the background behind a desk.}''
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| − | '''PUFFBAT:''' ''{subtitles as he pants}'' Ah, there we go. The evolutionary tree of Puffbats.
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| − | ''{cut to inside the book. A continent appears with a gradually changing shape.}''
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| − | '''PUFFBAT:''' ''{voiceover}'' Long ago, about 2 billion years ago, a massive continent broke up into many pieces. ''{the continent breaks up}'' Now, each of these pieces had their own species, but most of them were the same. On each one, there was a creature called ''Casinycteris argynnis'', or golden fruit bat. ''{a picture of a fruit bat appears on each piece}'' Gradually, as the continent-pieces drifted apart, ''{the continents drift apart}'' the fruit bats could no longer breed across, and thus adapted to life in their region.
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| − | ''{cut back to Puffbat suddenly. He looks up from the book.}''
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| − | '''PUFFBAT:''' ''{subtitles as he pants}'' I'm sorry, am I boring you?
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| − | '''LIBRARIAN:''' Shhh!
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| − | ''{Puffbat turns back to the book. Cut back to the continent.}''
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| − | '''PUFFBAT:''' ''{voiceover}'' Each variety started to change, ''{as the continents drift, each fruit bat change shape numerous times}'' and within two million years, they were all so different, that they couldn't breed if they wanted to.
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| − | | |
| − | '''BATS:''' ''{various growling, squeaking and screeching noises}''
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| − | ''{zoom in on the northern continent, showing a picture of a monstrous white bat}''
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| − | '''PUFFBAT:''' ''{voiceover}'' On the northern continent of Clath, the golden fruit bat adapted to horribly cold temperatures, and became huge and albino, with giant claws, teeth, and a wingspan of twelve feet.
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| − | | |
| − | '''CLATH BAT:''' RAAAWWWWRRLLARRR
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| − | ''{pan over to the eastern continent, which has a picture of a tall, thin, green bat with tentacles}''
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| − | '''PUFFBAT:''' ''{voiceover}'' On the eastern continent of Henc, they adapted to strong winds and became a sort of air-jellyfish that floated in the breeze.
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| − | '''HENC BAT:''' Woooooooooowwoooooowwooooooooowooooo
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| − | ''{pan over to the southern continent, which shows a picture of an extremely small bronze-colored bat with giant eyes}''
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| − | '''PUFFBAT:''' ''{voiceover}'' On the southern continent of Tyff, they adapted to high concentrations of minerals and gems, and became small and covered with rock deposits to survive in the tough volcanic land.
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| − | '''TYFF BAT:''' gurggrlleguurgglelgurrrgerll
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| − | ''{pan over to the western continent of Gwid, which shows a Puffbat.}''
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| − | '''PUFFBAT:''' ''{voiceover}'' And on the western continent of Gwid, they adapted to the temperate climate and forests, and became fat and numerous. That's us, the Puffbats.
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| − | '''GWID BAT:''' Hehhh-hehhhh-hehhhh.
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| − | ''{zoom out to see all the continents. The map wraps around into a globe and starts spinning rapidly.}''
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| − | '''PUFFBAT:''' ''{voiceover}'' Now, where do humans fall into this? I dunno. As far as I know, humans came from like, another planet.
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| − | ''{a flying saucer flies over the globe, which slows to a stop and unwraps. The spacecraft lands in Gwid and a man and a woman come out. They start making out, and the resident Puffbats start throwing up after watching them.}''
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| − | '''PUFFBAT:''' ''{voiceover}'' None of us Puffbats are too comfortable with humans, because they cut down our forests and hunt us for sport. We only know that about a thousand years ago was when the humans landed and started *ick* making out to *blech* populate the planet. <small>As if it wasn't populated already...</small> Anyways, I'm pretty sure that as long as that ancient UFO is standing in the forest, that humans aren't related to Puffbats.
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| − | | |
| − | ''{cut back to Puffbat in the library suddenly. He slams the book shut and drops it on the table.}''
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| − | | |
| − | '''PUFFBAT:''' ''{subtitles as he pants}'' And that's the story!
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| − | '''LIBRARIAN:''' SHHH!
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| − | ''{cut to outside the library entrance, which is hole number 8096 rimmed with green paint. Puffbat is booted out in a similar manner to The Sneak. Puffbat catches himself and starts flying in midair.}''
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| − | '''PUFFBAT:''' ''{subtitles as he pants}'' Oh, yeah? Well so's your hatcher!
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| − | ''{cut back to the computer. Puffbat waddles in and sits down. He starts typing.}''
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| − | '''PUFFBAT:''' ''{panting as he types}'' Well, I got kicked out of the library, and my library card is suspended for a few days, but I learned a whole lot! And you did too! ''{types the emoticon}'' :D Tune in next time!
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| − | ''{lettering fades in over Puffbat's head, saying "[[Puffbat Emails#Inbox|Click here to email Puffbat!"}''
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| − | [[Category:Homfrog]]
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