Green Grass and High Tides Forever!/Batman

Everything is dead, it's

BROWN DIRT AND DRY TIDES FOREVER

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{Open: An apocalyptic wasteland. Further observation reveals the wasteland to be the remnants of YTPLand, now completely destroyed, as if by centuries of decay. In the middle of the wasteland is The Dalek, partially buried in the ground. His eyepiece starts blinking slowly, before properly turning on.}

DALEK: Good morning world! Hope you feel as happy and refreshed as I do!

{The Dalek takes a couple of seconds to scan his surroundings, realizing that this is not the bright and happy land that he once knew.}

DALEK: Oh, bollocks. The one day I don't feel like a worthless piece of crap also happens to be the one day where the world has ended. Bloody great, that is.

{The Dalek looks down to see that he's embedded into the ground.}

DALEK: And I'm stuck in the ground. I don't feel so great all of the sudden. I need to get out of here and find out what exactly has happened.

{The Dalek aims his lasers at the ground. They glow bright blue at first, taking a couple of seconds to charge up before vaporizing the ground around him. His hover function activates, thrusting him into the air.}

DALEK: I'm glad that I was able to get that hover upgrade installed. Who knows what would've happened if I hadn't, eh?

{Suddenly, Emerl pops out of the ground, stretching. Gemerl follows suit.}

EMERL: Man, that was a hella-good nap. Wait, what happened out here?

GEMERL: It looks like it rained acid and snowed fireballs.

DALEK: Ooh. It looks as if I'm not the only one who's still around. I never thought that I would say it, but I'm actually glad to see you guys. This means that I won't die alone and insane.

GEMERL: Oh yes you will. You may not ever realize it, but being the machinations of some unloving, unsympathetic man-beast of a person trying to play god is it's own infinite torture and that in following through with it you have completed the cycle of self-loathing and masochism of the brain by treating it as a "gift". If you ever really made this discovery, you would realize how pointless your own life is and inversely try to end the lives of everything else around you, where you dramatically then end yourself but never leave this material world because you're an abomination not worthy of any kind of spiritual transcendence.

EMERL: ...You're just a constant downer, huh?

DALEK: And with that, you managed to lose all the respect I had just gained for you in the last couple of seconds.

GEMERL: Oh, just shut up and help us look look for more people. What happened to the Cybermen? Or C3-PO and R2?

DALEK: That's not the question you should be asking right now.

GEMERL: Is it not? What is it then?

DALEK: Who the hell cares? No, seriously. Why should we bother caring for them, anyway?

EMERL: OH-HOH, SUH-NAP!

DALEK: Well, it's true! They're both nothing but overrated symbols of an overplayed sci-fi series!

GEMERL: You're saying that like you're no exception. Aren't you the exact same?

DALEK: Yeah, but-...

GEMERL: That's what I thought.

EMERL: OH, IS IT GETTING HOT IN HERE, OR WAS THAT JUST THE BURN I JUST HEARD?

DALEK: Shut up, Emerl.

GEMERL: Hmph. I have no ambition to let them live anyway, just to find them and see if they're still active.

DALEK: ...Fine. Let's go.

{The gang set off to the horizon, in order to find their allies.}

{Cut to Bowser's castle. The gang has arrived here after travelling for a while. The castle has been reduced to rubble, with a huge crater standing where it once was.}

GEMERL: So here we are. Bowser's castle.

DALEK: What's left of it, you mean?

GEMERL: Well, yes... You know what I mean!

EMERL: This is Bowser's castle? I remember it being much bigger than that. And I don't remember it being in the middle of a giant crater, either!

GEMERL: That's because it's been destroyed, you moron. Dalek? See if you can scan the area, see what's happened to it.

DALEK: Why can't you do it?

GEMERL: Because I don't have scanning capabilities, you idiot. Just do it.

DALEK: Fine then. You stupid tin can...

{The Dalek moves toward the crater, scanning the area and everything around it. He carries on with this, until he reaches the centre of the crater. He stops, and turns to face Gemerl and Emerl.}

GEMERL: What is it?

DALEK: Holy shit. The radiation levels around this area... It's off the charts!

GEMERL: Radiation, really? I wonder why that is... Do you notice anything that area? Anything unusual, perhaps?

{The Dalek does a thorough scan of the tiny area, and he locks on to an object that's underground. He blasts the soil that's covering it, revealing it to be the casing of an atomic bomb.}

DALEK: Oh my god. You two have to come here, quick. I think I've just found the reasoning for our whole problem.

{Gemerl and Emerl rush to the crater to observe the bomb casing. They look at each other, and then to The Dalek.}

EMERL: Gemerl, what's that?

GEMERL It's the reason why this place has become such a shithole all of a sudden. Well.. more of one.

DALEK: So, if what I'm thinking about is correct, we're currently standing in the middle of ground zero?

GEMERL: It looks like it. My question is though, what exactly could have caused this? Why would anybody hate this place so much, that they felt that they had to nuke it to oblivion?

DALEK: I don't know, but I kinda like it. Always had a thing for the apocalypse. I just never thought that I would be around to see it happen.

GEMERL: You make a good statement. I'm actually quite fond of it too. No more civilization, no more governments, no more anything. In fact, I think I prefer this place now than I used to! This is a place I can finally get behind!

EMERL: Well, I think it stinks! I preferred the old YTPLand! Where it was bright, and colorful, and everybody was happy! Plus, what about our friends? Kano, Jeran, Chaos, Sephiroth?

GEMERL: What about them?

DALEK: Did you just say friends?

EMERL: Yeah! What do you think happened to them?

GEMERL: Well, they're all dead, obviously. Nobody could survive a nuclear holocaust. The likelihood of them living is about the same as Dalek getting a girlfriend.

DALEK: They may not have died! They may have just been mutated instead! What then?

GEMERL: In that case, they're not so much dead on the outside as they are dead on the inside. Either way, looking for them would be a lost cause more than anything, so I think it would be for the best if we just stuck to our original plan of finding our robot friends, and finding out why exactly, we had a bomb dropped on us in the first place.

DALEK: I suppose.

GEMERL: I may be many things. A murderous psychopath with no sense of morality is one of them. But damn it, I know a good plan when I see one, and I just have to say that this is a brilliant plan.