Ben and Alex visit The United States of America/Colorado

GOING DOWN TO COLORADO GONNA HAVE OURSELVES A TIME

FRIENDLY FACES EVERYWHERE

HUMBLE FOLKS WITHOUT TEMPTATION

Transcript

{Ben and Alex touch down in Denver International, Colorado.}

ALEX: Geeeeee whizz, Ben! I am so glad to be in Colorado! A beautiful state full of mountains, snow, and school shootings!

{Alex smells something in the air and begins to sniff.}

ALEX: Ben? Ben? Do you smell what I smell? It smells rather dank in here, Ben? Be-... GODDAMN IT BEN.

{Pan over to reveal Ben smoking a massively huge blunt. He is high off his eyeballs.}

BEN: 420 erry day dude

ALEX: What is that?

BEN: moon juice

ALEX: Snap out of this weird trance you communist!

BEN: i think we should all just get along for once

ALEX: What have you been smoking???

BEN: Cannabis, also known as marijuana[3] (from the Mexican Spanish marihuana), and by numerous other names,a[›] is a preparation of the Cannabis plant intended for use as a psychoactive drug and as medicine.[4][5][6] Pharmacologically, the principal psychoactive constituent of cannabis is tetrahydrocannabinol (THC); it is one of 483 known compounds in the plant,[7] including at least 84 other cannabinoids, such as cannabidiol (CBD), cannabinol (CBN), tetrahydrocannabivarin (THCV),[8][9] and cannabigerol (CBG).

ALEX: Learn some things new every day. Come! Let us ski!

{Cut to Ben and Alex in a ski lift - Ben is still smoking a blunt and is wrapped in an unnecessary amount of winter clothing. Alex is wearing a t-shirt and some jeans.}

BEN: how are you not freezing to fucken death out here

ALEX: You hoser brit, it's only about -10 degrees oot here! I've had colder temperatures at Tim Hortons, eh?

BEN: you canadians are an abortion to the planet earth

ALEX: Hey! That's unfair to say! It's not really that... it's more like.. Canada being the biological child of Britain and France. And France is like some shitty neglectful father and Britain is left to raise it on itself. So they're all pretty happy but Canada still has mommy issues, and daddy Britain's getting a little old so he lets Canada go. And then America comes along and the two are like roommates. Oh, and Mexico is also a roommate. North America, amirite???????

BEN: what about the west indies you dick

ALEX: Oh... Jamaica, Barbados, Haiti and the lot... they're like... next door neighbours. Who keep everyone awake all night with loud reggae music. Duh.

'BEN: {inhales from blunt} mon i be digging that.

BEN: oh

{pause}

BEN: well.... your dumb anyway

ALEX: Takes one to know one!!

{Alex proceeds to skate down the mountain}

ALEX: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

{Alex continues to descend, running out of breath to keep saying "whee". He eventually begins to get slightly agitated, and then worried at the amount of time this is taking}

ALEX: there's no end in sight

{Alex continues to skate down (despite being on a skiing trip) ad infinitum, psychosis gradually beginning to set in}

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