Difference between revisions of "Ben and Alex visit The United States of America/Arizona"

Revision as of 18:54, 7 September 2013

nicholas cage

Transcript

{Ben and Alex touch down in Phoenix Airport}

BEN: Phoenix you know it's funny because we're like PHOENIXES we have BEEN REBORN

ALEX: ben what are you talking about

BEN: I don't honestly know. anyway my travel guide says the only thing in arizona is some canyon

ALEX: god damn is it hot in here or is it hot in here

BEN: it's pretty hot in here

ALEX: well we're in the desert, i guess it's natural to be hot around here

BEN: you know what we should do

ALEX: what ben

{ben rips all his clothes off}

BEN: take off our clothes

ALEX: ben no!!!!

{It was too late. Ben had already taken his clothes off and begun streaking around the airport. Alex was powerless to stop him as he ran throughout the terminals, letting his british dingle free like dust in the wind}

BEN: THE BRITISH EMPIRE SHALL RISE AGAIN

{two hours and one felony later, ben is sitting in county jail for indecent exposure. The prison guard walks up to the doors and opens them.}

PRISON GUARD: Yer' free, bud.

BEN: Who bailed me out?

PRISON GUARD: Your friend did.

{Alex comes from behind the prison guard. Ben is so happy that he strips naked again and begins to run around the police station. Two hours and another felony later.}

PRISON GUARD: He paid bail again.

BEN: Oh Alex!!

ALEX: Just get the hell out of there before you decide to break the law again

BEN: Okee.

{Ben carries around a large and threatening weapon that is not his dick. the guards don't seem to mind}

ALEX: So, the Grand Canyon. Let's look around.

{The Grand Canyon}

ALEX: And that's why caribou are the best.

{Ben and Alex run into a native american}

NATIVE AMERICAN: Hello, my friend. We wish peace and harmony and hair braiding.

BEN: alex are these indians red dot or woo woo

ALEX: woo woo, ben

NATIVE AMERICAN: You two are from Great Britain, am I right?

ALEX: Why yes, yes we are.

NATIVE AMERICAN: Splendid. Let us show you around our home.

{The Native American guides Alex and Ben to a reservation}

BEN: Wow, such rich and beautiful culture

NATIVE AMERICAN: I inherit from my fatha

ALEX: That's nice. BOY AM I HUNGRY

{Alex pulls out a tim hortons doughnut and gobbles it down}

ALEX: yummers, now to wash it down

{Alex pulls out a bag of milk and drinks it, discarding the wrapper}

BEN: Alex, no, you can't litter around native americans, it makes them cry.

{Ben looks over at the native american who is beginning to cry}

ALEX: Oh, god, I'm so sorry, really-

{Alex sees the native americans eyes are glowing. Suddenly, he fires lasers out of his eyes, which hit alex and send him flying into some beautiful rocks.}

BEN: Alex!!! You dumb fucker!!

ALEX: That's not cool. That's not cool at all!!

{Alex starts screaming. Suddenly he begins to glow and his hair turns red and white.}

BEN: WHAT IS THIS

ALEX: I HAVE GONE BEYOND THE LEVEL OF AN ORDINARY CANADIAN. I AM A SUPER-CANADIAN.

NATIVE AMERICAN: So, you are the Super Canadian of legend, huh? Well, watch this!

{The Native American does a dance and he begins to enfuse with the spirits of his ancestors, turning him into a Super Spectral Native American.}

BEN: Wait!! I can also play at this game!

{Ben crouches down and begins to scream, in order to bring on a transformation. But he just poops himself.}

BEN: Darn it.

{Suddenly, ben jumps in and becomes Hollow Omega Super Sayan Gaijan Darth Vader Ben. then he dies because he's not a 2008 era im a bell.}

ALEX: ben stop dying before i kill you some more

{Native American dude grows 50 feet, and goes on a Godzilla style rampage through the Grandest of all Canyons. Suddenly, from the sky comes Marlon Brando, dressed like he was in the island of dr moreau}

ALEX: Marlon Brando!! I'm so glad you came, we need your help to-...

{Marlon Brando punches Alex in the face.}

MARLON BRANDO: wut r u dong u fuckin disrespect indijnus peple u fukin hor

ALEX: No, Mr. Brando, it was a misunderstanding!

MARLON BRANDO: man i orta giv ya a pees uf mh mind bitch