RiffText/RTOD/Currently Untitled/sodes/Year 3000

Summary

We meat Liame and Negative. Negative builds a time machine.

LIGHTNING GUY: Time travel? The most used idea in all of fanstuff history?

NAMINE: I don't think I've seen time travel be used as much as I've seen, say, space travel be used.

Oh, come on!

RAIKU: Are you using salami or tuna?

SONG TITLE GAG: Busted - Year 3000

LIGHTNING GUY: Oh, thank God. I thought you were talking about the Jonas Brothers

NAMINE: Should I know who the Jonas Brothers are?
NOXIGAR: Eh, probably. I suspect these guys are just throwing another "popular-to-hate" media item into the fray for the sake of "easy" humour.

rip-off.
RAIKU: Phew.

NOXIGAR: "It's not as good as anything Rise Against the Machine makes, anyway."

PAGE TITLE: He told me he built a time machine
CHARACTERS: Liame, Negative, Sarette, Kirbychu, Person, Knight, Laughing People
PLACES:Liame's Basement, A spaceship, The Portal, 3000, 42 A.T, 1264

Transcript

{Open to Liame's basement. Liame is there and he is dancing to Hey Ya!}

LIGHTNING GUY: OK, what?

LIAME: Hey Ya rules. Just rules.

LIGHTNING GUY: Repeating everything you say fails. Just fails.

{The Door busts open. It is Negative.}

NEGATIVE:HEYLIAMEGUESSWHATLOLIAMSOEXITED

LIGHTNING GUY: HEYTALKINGINALLCAPSANDTOGETHERISN'TCOLLLOL

NAMINE: Teach me how to motor mouth, then.

{Negative explodes}

LIGHTNING GUY: Man, I wish I saw that.

NEGATIVE: Okay. I have built a time machine. Completely untested.

LIGHTNING GUY: Wait, didn't you just explode? I was actually starting to like this for a second!

LIAME: Ummm... Completely untested? So you want me to test it?

NEGATIVE: GOSH HOW DID YOU GUESS.

LIGHTNING GUY: GOSH YOU ARE AN IDIOT.

Well, over to my house.

{Cut to Negative's space station. They step into the portal.}

LIAME: Cool I see a UFO!

LIGHTNING GUY: Wow, this is so bad, not even commas want to associate with it.

NEGATIVE: Of course! It's the future!

{Cut to Sarette, running into Liame's basement carrying a toaster.}

LIGHTNING GUY: Please tell me she's going to finish them off.

SARETTE: I'm here, and I brought the toast-whoa, I'm in the wrong house. {walks around} Hello, anybody home? {notices time machine} Hey, nice toaster. Good thing I brought bread!

LIGHTNING GUY: How on earth could you forget where your own house was? Unless you are a really bad reader.

NOXIGAR: I don't recall backdoors of houses automatically having words.

NAMINE: How come it's the backdoor?

NOXIGAR: The front door's the door typically with the number attached to it. Also, most urban houses typically follow a uniform architectural structure, which often explains why some suburbs also have houses which look ostensibly identical.

{Sarette presses the button, and teleports into the city below Negative's space station.}

SARETTE: Whoa...where am I? Hey, there isn't a road down here! There's just...a big barren land. Hey, all the people are up there! They're on...some sort of sky highway! With jet packs! Weird... {looks up and sees the space station} Aah! A UFO!

LIGHTNING GUY: You are very funny. You talk, but all I hear is silliness.

NOXIGAR: That's pretty much her entire character trait?

LIAME: {charging up fire, in creepy voice} WHO ARE YOU? ARE YOU AN ALIEN?

LIGHTNING GUY: Why is everyone talking in all caps today?

SARETTE: Well, are you an alien?

{Kirbychu falls from the sky, and lands on the space station with a thud.}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Ow...

LIGHTNING GUY: OK, where did that thing come from?

SARETTE: Excuse me, but what the heck just pooped on your UFO?

KIRBYCHU HR'D: {loudly} POOP!?! I'M NOT POOP, I'M KIRBYCHU HR'D!!!

LIGHTNING GUY: I don't see a difference. You both stink.

NOXIGAR: Wouldn't it be I don't smell a difference?

SARETTE: ...Oh. My bad. But you sure look a heck of a lot like poop from five thousand miles away.

LIAME: He does look squishy. And cute.

LIGHTNING GUY: No, laughing baby is cute. That thing is a recolor. In other words, a nuisance to all life.

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Can someone get me down!?! I'm on top of a space station for pete's sake!

LIGHTNING GUY: You could say please.

{Negative takes form of a Paragoomba and flies up, get Kirbychu, and go down. He turns normal after landing.}

KIRBYCHU HR'D: Ooh, form changy. Can you turn into me?

LIGHTNING GUY: Form changy? I can't comment on that so I won't offend the autistic

NOXIGAR: "I will not make this joke to not offend x demographic of viewers" sounds like the most pretentious tripe I've ever heard and read.
NAMINE: I don't think that's helping your case against Lightning Guy at all, no matter how wrong he is.

viewers.

{Negative does so.}

LIAME: Hey, one question, how are you all getting into the year 3000?

KIRBYCHU HR'D: I casted a time warp spell and ended up here, but now I'm out of runes and can't get back...

LIGHTNING GUY: Casted? That is just plain bad grammar!

NAMINE: You couldn't be any more wrong if you tried.

NEGATIVE: We just need to go inside my ship an-

{Negative's batteries run out}

LIGHTNING GUY: Finally! He's dead!

LIAME: DARNIT.

LIGHTNING GUY: SHUTIT.

We will be stuck here for a while.

SARETTE: Uh, what where we talking about before Kirbychu warped in again?

LIGHTNING GUY: What where? Who what where? Who what when where? Who what when where how?

LIAME: Look up. {FOURTH WALL BREAKAGE}

LIGHTNING GUY: Commenting on that obvious white text, stating that you broke the fourth wall is worse than actually breaking the fourth wall.

{Sarette looks up.}

SARETTE: Aah! No! Don't shoot me!

LIGHTNING GUY: Yes! Please do!

NAMINE: This isn't giving Liame's work any favours whatsoever; however, Sarette is still the most likable character in this show. I wouldn't want her shot at all, really.

NEGATIVE: No, It's a projection I am showing you of after Kirbychu came here.

SARETTE: ...Oh. All of your functions look the same to me.

LIAME: Negative, I thought your batteries were out.

NEGATIVE: Oh yeah, I forgot.

LIGHTNING GUY: I wish that you all could see me facepalming

NAMINE: A talking lightning bolt can facepalm?

NOXIGAR: If it has hands.

NAMINE: I've never seen JCM draw Lightning Guy with hands.

right now.

{Negative dies, well, not really.}

LIGHTNING GUY: Of course.

SARETTE: ...Well, seriously, are you aliens?

LIAME: I'm just a wizard. Negative, here, is an alien.

SARETTE: Uh, sorry for the random question, but what year is it, anyway?

LIAME: If you were paying attention, year 3000!

SARETTE: ...Oh. Do you, by any chance, have a toaster that will actually toast my bread and not send me to the year 3000?

LIGHTNING GUY: Does an actual store ring a bell?

NOXIGAR: And if she can't reach the store? Then what?

LIAME: Negative has a built in toaster.

{Negative wakes up}

NEGATIVE: Somebody call my name?

LIGHTNING GUY: No, it was a dream, now die again.

LIAME: Yes, toast Sarette's bread.

{Sarette raises a slice of bread.}

SARETTE: Yay! I've been waiting to have that toast party for ages!

LIGHTNING GUY: Toast party? The only party of yours anyone would want to go to is your funeral.

LIAME: I get it! We traveled 992 years so you were waiting that long!

OFFSCREEN PERSON: NERD! HAHA!

LIGHTNING GUY: Was that me?

SARETTE: Wait...you came from 2008, too? You know, that toaster must be really defective.

LIAME: Of coarse we came from 2008. Now, a montage of us trying to get into the ship 50 feat up!

LIGHTNING GUY: You know, just because they used it on Homestar Runner doesn't mean it's great when anyone uses it.

{Year 3000 by busted plays. Cut to inside the ship after the song is over}

NEGATIVE: Okay, we have to go into the portal, and back to 2008.

{They step in, but they are warped to 24 A.T (after time)}

LIGHTNING GUY: A.T.? You people belong A.T. a mental hospital.

{Short pause}
NOXIGAR: I don't get it.

LIAME: At least we are still in the ship. Tally-ho!

LIGHTNING GUY: Never say that again.

{They jump into the portal again and land in 2008. Cut to Sarette, still in 24 A.T.}

SARETTE: ...Great, just great. Now I'm stuck in 24 A.T.

LIGHTNING GUY: Is being stuck in a made-up time a reason to talk to yourself?

LIAME: {Yelling from outside the portal} THE PORTAL TO 2008 IS THERE STILL. JUMP IN, THE MICROSCOPIC ELECTRICAL MEGABYTES ARE FINE!

LIGHTNING GUY: You know, you can just yell like a normal human.

NEGATIVE: {Other side of portal} NERD!

LIGHTNING GUY: Oh, so that was you. I should've known.

SARETTE: FINE!

{Sarette jumps into the portal, but ends up in 1264. An army of knights approach her.}

LIGHTNING GUY: Are you kidding me?

KNIGHT: Halt, dark wizard! You have performed an act of witchcraft by utilizing teleportation! You shall be put to death!

LIGHTNING GUY: Hooray!

SARETTE: Oh. Oh dear.

{The knight takes off his mask and looks like... Liame?}

LIGHTNING GUY: Um, yeah. You're not supposed to end a description with a question mark. It's stupid and confusing.

LIAME: Haha, tricked you. We were all in 2008 ever since we got in the portal!

LIGHTNING GUY: So, the entire episode was a waste of time? You are a sick, twisted fellow.

{Laugh track is heard. It is Gasping People's brothers, Laughing People.}

NEGATIVE: Okay, we hated Gasping People, but Laughing People? COME ON!

LIGHTNING GUY: Those so-called people hate you, too.

{Credits play}

NAMINE: So... thoughts?
NOXIGAR: I saw this already a long while back while reading through Lightning Guy's Everything You Know Is Wrong riff. LG can be funny, but only about a few of his jokes here registered as funny.