(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/Green Grass and High Tides Forever!/0
If you translate this message, I will send Iori to your house and he will steal your cheese.
LIGHTNING GUY: (For those of you with browsers that can actually display Wingdings, the message here is: "If you translate this message, I will send Iori to your house and he will steal your cheese.")
LIGHTNING GUY: (Oh wait.)
GREEN GRASS AND HIGH TIDES FOREVER
CD-I MARIO: Nice of the princess to invite us over for a picnic, eh Luigi?
CD-I LUIGI: I hope she made lotsa- {intterupted}
LIGHTNING GUY: {intterupted} sounds like a delicious dish.
PATRICK: {singing} GREEN GRASS AND HIGH TIDES FOREVER!
CD-I LUIGI: Hey, you interupted my line!
LIGHTNING GUY: I guess it's better than him interrupting your line!
LIGHTNING GUY: Seriously, how many different ways can you misspell "interrupted"?
PATRICK: So what? Everyone knows what you're going to say anyway.
CD-I LUIGI: True.
{Iori falls from the top of the screen}
LIGHTNING GUY: Hey, there are worse ways to introduce a character! Just kidding. There are no worse ways to introduce a character.
IORI: There goes my leg.
CD-I MARIO: Who's this guy?!?!
IORI: A guy who has a broken leg.
LIGHTNING GUY: Well, there you go!
PATRICK: Is anyone on?
LIGHTNING GUY: Crack? Most likely.
RYAN: I'm so rich! I have won the lottery!
IORI: Hey, Ree-an!
PATRICK: It's pronounced Ryan.
LIGHTNING GUY: IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE MISPRONOUNCED A NAME
IORI: I mean Ryan!
CD-I MARIO: Is that a letter over there?
DR. SEUSS: Over where? Is it taped to the door? Is it resting on the floor? Is it floating in the air?
PATRICK: Yes, it's from Bowser, telling you that he took over the Mushroom Kingdom, stole the princess, blah blah blah, hotels, blah blah blah.
{The Daleks come, and blast a few objects.}
LIGHTNING GUY: This riff is in memory of those brave "a few objects" who lost their lives at the hands of murderous, unoriginal characters.
DALEK: OBEY US, OR RISK BEING EXTERMINATED!!!
{the Daleks explode}
LIGHTNING GUY: Capitalization? F. Punctuation? F. Congratulations! You get to take English 101 again! And for double the price!
IORI: Ha ha!
{More Daleks come.}
LIGHTNING GUY: Where are these Daleks coming from, anyway? Are they dropping from the sky like I-bore-i did?
DALEK: Iori Yagami! Prepare to be exterminated! {Shoots him.}
IORI: {parrys}
LIGHTNING GUY: Hey, where's Parry?
Ha ha! {Dalek shoots him again} And now I'm a pile of ash.
DALEK: You King of Fighters characters are good for only one thing. DYING!!!
LIGHTNING GUY: We have now established that the character of "Dalek" is verbally abusive.
IORI: Wrong Iori, man.
CD-I MARIO: Can somebody please tell me what's happening?
IORI: Madness.
LIGHTNING GUY: No.
300 GUY: Madness?
LIGHTNING GUY: Don't.
THIS, IS,
LIGHTNING GUY: Killing me.
SPARTA! {kicks Iori into a pit}
SHAO KAHN: Fatality!
DALEK: EXTERMINATE!!!!! {Shoots Shao Kahn, and the YTP People. Starts to sing ABBA songs.} Mamma Mia! Here I go again!
LIGHTNING GUY: what is this i don't even
JAREK (MORTAL KOMBAT): {comes in, punches Dalek} THE BLACK DRAGON WILL LIVE ON! {gets shot}
KANO (MORTAL KOMBAT): {comes in with a gun} That's for replacing me in Mortal Kombat 4!
{Both of them get Exterminated.}
LIGHTNING GUY: With whatever was left of my sanity.
DALEK: WHO IS NEXT IN MY ETERNAL REIGN OF DESTRUCTION?
KANO: {comes back to life}
LIGHTNING GUY: NO YOU CAN'T DO THAT THAT IS NOT HOW NATURE WORKS
PATRICK: YOU CAN NEVER KILL KANO!
KANO: {shoots Dalek}
LIGHTNING GUY: WHY IS IT FORMATTED LIKE DIALOGUE IF HE DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING
{The Muffin of D00M walks by, and bashes Kano's knees in with a silver bat; Kano recovers}
LIGHTNING GUY: THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS WRONG WITH THIS I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START
DALEK: Shooting me will do nothing. My armour is as hard as... well.. It's the hardest metal ever. {Kills Kano again.}
KANO: {comes back to life} You know, I could do that all day if I have to. {kills Dalek somehow}
LIGHTNING GUY: "I'd tell you what he did, but that would require, like, creativity and thinking and stuff like that. La-ame."
DALEK: {Comes back to life.} What? If you can do it, I can!
{The Cybermen come, and the Daleks and the Cybermen start a war.}
LIGHTNING GUY: What? You can't just start a war whenever you want without going through any kind of process! Who do you think you are? The United States of America?
KANO: You all explode now. {Cybermen and Daleks explode, and Kano makes the sandbox Doctor Who-proof}
{They come back, and all kill Kano.}
LIGHTNING GUY: Why do you keep killing Kano? He'll just come back again!
DALEK: Doctor Who proof? Ha! We are not the Doctor!
LIGHTNING GUY: because the doctor is the only character on doctor who
You have just made our enemy unable to come here. Now.. {Makes the Sandbox Kano Proof.}
KANO: {comes back; makes the Sandbox Dalek and Cybermen proof}
LIGHTNING GUY: STOP DOING DIALOGUE LINES WITHOUT DIALOGUE
PATRICK: YOU CAN NEVER BAN KANO FROM ANYTHING!
CYBERMAN: Okay, this is boring me now. {Everyone starts dancing. "Waterloo" from Abba plays.}
SEPHIROTH: Whoa. What the {BEEP} is happening here!?
LIGHTNING GUY: {BEEP}ed if I know.
IORI: Madness.
PATRICK: Hey, I thought you were kicked into a pit!
IORI: I had an extra guy!
LIGHTNING GUY: THAT IS NOT HOW NATURE WORKS
CD-I MARIO: Argh! I can't take this anymore! {jumps into pit}
SHAO KAHN: Hara Kiri!
IORI: I thought that guy was killed!
LIGHTNING GUY: You just saw twenty people get resurrected and you're choosing to question this guy's mortality?
PATRICK: Maybe he had an extra guy too.
IORI: Wow, this hasn't been edited in a while.
LIGHTNING GUY: LEAVE IT THAT WAY! FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY JUST LEAVE IT THAT WAY!
SMW CARTOON LUIGI: Ah! Somebody help me! Some guy named Kano is trying to kill me! And I think he's winning!
IORI: I'll save you, Luigi!
SMW CARTOON LUIGI: That's Mama Luigi to you, redhair!
LIGHTNING GUY: That...may be the worst insult in the history of insults.
IORI: {bored look} Of course. Hey Kano, he's over here!
SMW CARTOON LUIGI: AH! Help! Help!
LIGHTNING GUY: No. I want you to suffer.
{Luigi gets Zapped by the Dalek.}
DALEK: EXTERMINATE!!!!
{Dalek explodes because he was banned from teh sandbox}
LIGHTNING GUY: This riff is in memory of that brave, murderous, unoriginal character who lost his life getting banned from a "teh sandbox".
KANO: Crap! HE WAS MINE!
IORI: Hey Luigi, you're a pile of ash too!
LIGHTNING GUY: You're a pile of ash. I'm a pile of ash. Let's get together and have black, charry ash-sex.
{Dalek explosion was just a decoy.}
DALEK: Foolish Mortal! You can not ban the most superior race in the universe! {Zaps Kano.}
KANO: {comes back to life} Yes I can. {Dalek explodes}
LIGHTNING GUY: From magic!
SMW CARTOON BOWSER: Attack, my Bullet Bills- er, Magnum Bills- er, whatever you are right now!
KANO: {shoots laser at SMWCB and his 'Bills}
LIGHTNING GUY: It's all about them dollar 'Bills, baby.
{Dalek comes back.}
DALEK: YOUR FOOLISH ATTEMPTS AT DESTROYING ME ARE JUST AS PATHETIC AS YOUR ATTEMPTS AT LIVING.
LIGHTNING GUY: SO I'M JUST GOING TO KEEP KILLING YOU UNTIL THE LAWS OF NATURE START TO WORK
DESTROY THE FOOL NAMED BOWSER! {Zaps Bowser, and kills him.}
KANO: Did you just help me kill Bowser?
DALEK: I JUST HATE BOWSER AND HIS CHILDREN.
LIGHTNING GUY: "HIS CHILDREN ESPECIALLY, THOSE LITTLE REPTILIAN BASTARDS."
KANO: I see. But I seem to like two of them.
DALEK: Whatever.
PATRICK: {singing} GREEN GRASS AND HIGH TIDES FOREVER!
LIGHTNING GUY: No forever! Make it end!
ZIPPY: {visibly drunk} A rolling stone collects no moss. Whee!
PATRICK: Why are you visibly drunk?
LIGHTNING GUY: Because if he was invisibly drunk, you couldn't see him make a fool of himself.
ZIPPY: It turns out five pints of whiskey does a good night make! Whee!
{Zippy falls down some stairs.}
IORI: Wow, that has got to be painfull.
LIGHTNING GUY: "My name's not Painfull, it's Zippy."
Hey Luigi, you're still a pile of ash!
LIGHTNING GUY: In other news, the Earth is still turning!
SMW CARTOON LUIGI: Don't remind me.
DALEK: It can't be my fault. When I kill someone, they turn green, and their Skeleton shows through their body in black. Then they disappear.
CHAOS: Well, find a new way to make people die!
LIGHTNING GUY: Preferably one with rainbows.
IORI: Hi, Chey-os!
PATRICK: It's pronounced "Chaos".
LIGHTNING GUY: MISPRONOUNCING NAMES IS STILL FUNNY
IORI: I mean Chaos!
CHAOS: Hi. Now I need to put some VG characters in here...
LIGHTNING GUY: No, you don't! Please do-
{Chaos is suddenly replaced with Emerl and Gemerl from Sonic.}
LIGHTNING GUY: WHYYYY
EMERL: Where are we?
GEMERL: Heaven?
EMERL: But there isn't anything good about this place!
LIGHTNING GUY: Finally, someone who's talking sense around here!
GEMERL: It was a JOKE!
EMERL: Then you're unoriginal.
LIGHTNING GUY: LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT THIS PILOT
KANO: Who the crap are you two?
EMERL: Two people that own.
KANO: Sure, just keep saying that to yourselfs.
LIGHTNING GUY: Me, my selfs, and I.
EMERL: So, where's the pancake supper?
KANO: Uh, it's over there, in that spikey pit. Just jump down there and you'll find it.
EMERL: I'm not going down there.
{The ground comesz
LIGHTNING GUY: No. Just no.
apart and moves under Emerl, and he falls into the pit.}
EMERL: Ow.
SHAO KAHN: Fatality!
KANO: Hey, weren't you horribly mauled by Master Handguy?
LIGHTNING GUY: master who
SHAO KAHN: Yes, but I recovered.
SWM CARTOON YOSHI: Where Luigi is?
LIGHTNING GUY: Where your grammar is?
KANO: He's a pile of ash.
SWM CARTOON YOSHI: Oh no!
KANO: Don't worry, I can fix that.
{skip scenes. SMWCY is also a pile of ash}
LIGHTNING GUY: Should've warned you about that ash-sex.
SWM CARTOON YOSHI: This not what Yoshi had in mind...
KANO: Wow. Sure is quiet 'round here.
GEMERL: THREAT TO CHAOS EMERALDS. AN-LIMITATE!
LIGHTNING GUY: An-scruciating.
{Gemerl's arms turn into machine guns and he rapidly fires anything in sight.}
GEMERL: FATALITY.
{Gemerl explodes}
SHAO KAHN: And that's why you don't steal my catchphrase.
LIGHTNING GUY: That's the moral! Does this mean the episode is over?
{Gemerl reforms.}
LIGHTNING GUY: NOOOOOOOOO
GEMERL: THREAT TO HUMAN SOCIETY! DECLINE!
{Gemerl goes and shoots President Bush.}
LIGHTNING GUY: A lone gunman shooting the most powerful person in the world? IT'S A CONSPIRACY.
GEMERL: OBJECTIVE COMPLETE. {Powers down, and turns back to normal} Well, that was odd.
SHAO KAHN: President Bush is dead? YES! Now I can begin my plan to be the new president of the United States,
LIGHTNING GUY: I'm pretty sure that's not how the line of succession works.
and do some various evil things that will help me rule the entire Earthrealm! Earthrealm will be mine! Wait, did I say that out loud?
GEMERL: Can I be your VP?
SHAO KAHN: No. That title goes to Shang Tsung.
SHANG TSUNG: Thank you, Shao Ka- {intterupted}
LIGHTNING GUY: I've had enough {intterupted} for one day, thank you.
SHAO KAHN: Yeahshutup.
IORI: Hey Yoshi, you're a pile of ash!
SWM CARTOON YOSHI: Don't remind Yoshi.
GEMERL: Well, then I've got nothing better to do. {Pulls out an iPod and and crushes it.} I'll set the world record for most destroyed iPods!
LIGHTNING GUY: First you kill the president, and now you're killing iPods? Have you no shame?
STRONG SAD: {walks by with his iPod}
LIGHTNING GUY: OH COME ON
GEMERL: {Arms turn back into Machine guns} RELIEVE YOUR PORTABLE MUSIC DEVICE! {Blasts the iPod apart, then kicks Strong Sad out of the atmosphere. He then returns to normal.} that's 2!
KANO: Uh, you do know that you probably already have the record for most broken/crushed/destroyed iPods, right? Those things are just too good to break.
LIGHTNING GUY: That's not gratuitous advertising whatsoever.
GEMERL: I hate iPods, what with their giving you finger cancer,
LIGHTNING GUY: which is totally a thing,
and their expensive prices, and their stupid broken battery signals.
KANO: Meh. ...Ha, you guys are piles of ash!
IORI, SMWCL, SMWCY: Don't remind us.
LIGHTNING GUY: They then proceed to have a hot ash-sex threesome.
{Strong Sad falls back onto the ground.}
DALEK: Strong Sad! EXTERMINATE!! {Shoots Strong Sad, and kills him.}
NELSON: Ha ha!
LIGHTNING GUY: Murder is funny! And so are random guest appearances!
GEMERL: Well, With my rise to stardom complete...{opens Guiness Book of World Records with a picture of him in it.}
LIGHTNING GUY: That totally was added between the time you crushed those iPods thirty seconds ago and now.
I guess I need something to do.
PATRICK: {singing} GREEN GRASS AND HIGH TIDES FOREVER!
LIGHTNING GUY: {singing} WE'RE RANDOM ALL THE TIME AND WE DO SPELL CHECKS NEVER!
GEMERL: Shut it off, you. {Blasts Patrick offscreen}
{Chaos comes back in.}
CHAOS: Pointless Cameo!
LIGHTNING GUY: why the hell not
{Chaos disappears.}
DALEK: I bet you guys don't even know what we look like!
LIGHTNING GUY: And we don't even care!
CYBERMAN: Neither with us.
DALEK: If we had emotions, we'd cry. We are emotionless, and that makes me really sad.
SEPHIROTH: Hey!
LIGHTNING GUY: What a wonderful kind of day!
DALEK: SILENCE!! {Shoots Sephiroth.}
PATRICK: {shouts at the top of his lungs} GREEN GRASS AND HIGH TIDES FOREVER!
GEMERL: {shouts at the top of his lungs} SHUT IT OFF YOU! {Throws a missile at Patrick, it blows up all of the Wiki Users} Well, that's taken care of! {Holds up Book of World Records, The Title of the record is "Most Wiki Users killed in one shot." He is in the picture again}
LIGHTNING GUY: I don't think Guinness World Records would promote genocide.
KANO: {shoots a laser at Gemerl; Gemerl explodes} Let me guess, Gemerl's going to come back?
DALEK: Probably.
LIGHTNING GUY: no
GEMERL: Affirmative.
LIGHTNING GUY: NO
DALEK: Yep.
KANO: AAAAAARGH! GEMERL, I'D STRANGLE YOU!
LIGHTNING GUY: but i can't because i'd break a nail
GEMERL: I has no human neck.
KANO: AND THAT'S WHY I CAN'T!
PATRICK: Hey, you stole my "has" joke!
LIGHTNING GUY: "I HAS ORIGINATED THE HAS JOKE SO YOU HAS NOT BETTER USE IT EVER. HAS."
DALEK: Here's a picture of me!
IORI: Ah. But how can you talk if you don't have a mouth?
LIGHTNING GUY: It talks out of its anus, obvi.
DALEK: We don't need mouths! ....I don't know.
SMW CARTOON LUIGI: Can somebody help us?
LIGHTNING GUY: NO
DALEK: Shuttup. This is us talking.
GEMERL: We robots have voice transistors. Hey, has anyone seen Emerl? I don't remember what happened after we showed up.
{Cut to Emerl in the hole.}
LIGHTNING GUY: Not just any hole! The hole!
EMERL: Hello? I need to get out of here! Gemerl? Guys? I need help!
DALEK: I would help you, but I have no arms, and I can't fly.
GEMERL: I have a jet-pack, but I don't care that badly.
LIGHTNING GUY: Apathy! Get it at your local Tides R Us!
SMW CARTOON LUIGI: Somebody help us! We don't want to be piles of ash anymore!
GEMERL: Okay! {Turns his arm into a vaccum cleaner,
LIGHTNING GUY: Vac-cum cleaner? Sounds naughty.
and hits reverse. The ashes of all the SMW characters blow away, forever.}
PATRICK: Hey, Iori was one of the pile of ashes! Bring him back! Because I'm too lazy to do that myself.
GEMERL: Than who's that? {points to Iori, who is next to Kano.}
PATRICK: Oh, I forgot that he wasn't a pile of ash anymore.
IORI: Hey juys!
LIGHTNING GUY: "I'm cool because I replace letters in words that make the words sound nothing like they did before!"
GEMERL: Well, that was anticlimactic. What do we do now?
PATRICK: Wait until we make the actual series?
GEMERL: I guess I'll save Emerl, then we can have a dance pawty?
LIGHTNING GUY: Not until you clean up that vac-cum.
{Gemerl hops in the hole and saves Emerl.}
EMERL: DANCE PAWTY TIME!
{Everyone dances like crazy, and the screen fades to black.}
LIGHTNING GUY: One down. Nine to go. {groans} Why did I come back to this?
