Objection!/Chwoka2

Court Records

• CASE NAME: Turnabout, Your Honor
• CASE DESCRIPTION: The former judge is shot in his own courtroom. The suspect? A fellow prosecutor who lost a case. Is he really innocent?
• JUDGE PRESIDING: The Honorable Judge Judge Jr.
• VICTIM: Judge Judge, Sr.
• DEFENDANT: Prosecutor Marshall Law
• PROSECUTOR: Chwoka
• DEFENSE: Lydia Prinz
• WITNESSES:
• VERDICT: Undecided

Evidence

• Gavel - Found at the scene of the crime. Has unidentified blood on it.
• Case File - Details Prosecutor Law's last case.
• Bullet Shell - Found at the scene of the crime. Found by the door.

Court Transcript

{Open: the judge's chambers. Judge Sr. is there, reading through a recently settled case file. Suddenly, a man walks in, brandishing a gun.}

???: ... Your Honor.

JUDGE: Hm? Who's there?

???: How can you forget me? I'm the one who was humiliated in front of the entire court!

JUDGE: No... why are you here? That case is over!

???: And who says it is, hm?

{The man fires a shot into the judge's back.}

JUDGE: AAAH! ... Y-you... Why?

???: Because... you're the one who cost me my career!

{The man fires another shot, killing the poor judge. The man cackles and walks away, dropping the gun in the process.}

{Cut: Chwoka's office, which is a cat. He is holding a piece of cardboard reading "WILL LAWYER FOR FOOD". Jon walks by.}

JON: ... Pal? Is that you!?

CHWOKA: Yup, it's Pal alright.

JON: ... You're still as snarky as ever. What happened to you, pal? How'd this happen?

CHWOKA: I lost a case. Pretty damned big case, financially.

JON: Oh... yeah. I forgot. ... Listen, pal, I just got word from the State Prosecutor's Office... they've got a case without anybody prosecuting, and I was wondering...

CHWOKA: Hellz yeah! I'm so hungry that {falls unconscious}

{Jon sighs and drags Chwoka to court.}

{Cut: A court-of-law themed restruant named "Court". Chwoka is eating like there is not a tomorrow}

JON: So, how's the food?

CHWOKA: Tasty as Justice!

JON: Yeah, that's all well and good, but... we should probably hit the crime scene. Where the judge was killed.

{Chwoka drops his fork onto his plate}

CHWOKA: Judge was...killed?

JON: Yep. We think a fellow prosecutor is to blame, but we're not sure. I think we need to do some detective work.

CHWOKA: I call dibs on Forensics!

JON: ... Okay, I guess.

{Chwoka plants a security camera under the table}

CHWOKA: Say, who is this former prosecutor? Not Stan, hopefully?

JON: He left the country already--it couldn't have been him! They say it was a guy named Marshall Law. He's pretty good, all things considered.

CHWOKA:...and now we will spend the next week gathering evidence in court....without YOU people {points to viewer} following us everywhere!

{cut: Court}

CHWOKA: Gathering evidence sure is fun, eh Jon?

JON: Yeah. The rollercoaster was my favorite part.

CHWOKA: Well, let's get to work!

{long pause}

JON: Yeah, let's.

{Cut: the judge's quarters. A large bloodstain covers the desk and carpet, and tape marks the area of the judge's death, in his chair.}

CHWOKA: So, wait, are we still going to be using this courtroom?

JON: Of course! A new judge is coming-

???: Very soon, yes.

{Jon turns around to see a young-looking, red-bearded man in a judge's robe behind him.}

JON: And you are?

JUDGE: The son of the judge.

CHWOKA: My god, man! You're going to be rubbing your ass in your father's deathjuice!?

JUDGE: ... I'll be getting a new chair, if you must know. You are... the prosecutor, correct?

CHWOKA: Prosecutor indeed. Deeds are my specialty?

JUDGE: ... I'm sure they are, sir. So... I take it you'll be trying to find the real criminal guilty?

CHWOKA: Nope, I'm here to find the real criminal then let him go scot-flippin'-free. Shall we begin with me presenting my reality-bending-to-my-will-tastic case, where I present evidence that nobody saw me gather, but immediately exists?

???: Too late.

CHWOKA: Too late to start presenting evidence? That's my Marshall Law, alright! Always saying things that sound cool but don't actually make sense.

???: Hardly.

{A woman, looking to be in her early twenties, stands at the doorway. She is carrying in her hands a folder--presumably containing the evidence. Her face gives off an astoundingly insulting sense of self-satisfaction.}

PRINZ: Lydia Prinz. Charmed to meet you, Prosecutor.

CHWOKA: Always pleased to meet a member of the surprisingly-large-but-well-managed Prinz family!

{Chwoka extends his hand to shake Lydia's hand, but it is swatted away.}

PRINZ: I'll let you know I've no need for formalities right now. What I'm here for is to warn you.

CHWOKA: Warn me about your skills, Ms. Ego-Stroke? And by that I mean "I hope you have a stroke".

PRINZ: Exactly. You know how good a record I have?

JON: Sh-she's good. R-really good.

PRINZ: I'm glad you agree, detective!

{Jon quakes silently, anticipating a blow from the egotistical princess of defense.}

JON: DONT HIT ME

CHWOKA: Let me guess, no matter what I was to say there, the response would have been exactly the same. How genuine.

PRINZ: My, you're mouthy. ... Didn't my father lose to you? Prosecutor Chwoka, was it?

CHWOKA: Father? Son of a gun, has it really been that long?

PRINZ: ... I've been alive much longer than you think, Prosecutor. ... My, we've got a bright one here.

JON: {forced} Hahahaha!

CHWOKA: Not quite as sharp as I used to be, but I still can stab a guy to death in a back alley during night time when nobody is watching and then dispose of all evidence.

PRINZ: ... Ha! Looks like I've found the real killer!

CHWOKA: You're overlooking two important things: Judge Sr. was not killed in a back alley, I've got a odd sense of humor that can wander into black comedy.

PRINZ: Odd... I guess that's a good word to describe you.

CHWOKA: Yes, yes, I'm mouthy, that's well-established, let's get to work.

PRINZ: Work? I've done my work. I've got all the evidence I need...

CHWOKA: You know what I mean!

PRINZ: Good... I trust this case will go... smoothly.

{Cut: court}

JUDGE: Court is now in session. Is the defense ready?

PRINZ: As ever, Your Honor.

JUDGE: And the prosecution?

CHWOKA: Yes.

JUDGE: Very well. Would the prosecution please present the case for us?

{Chwoka stands up}

CHWOKA: Jon, bring me the projector.

JON: {offscreen} You've got it!

{Jon pushes a projector into the court room. Chwoka tears a camera out from under his desk.}

CHWOKA: Nobody counted on security cameras that were not supposed to be there in the first place!

{Chwoka puts a tape straight from the security camera and puts it in the projector.}

CHWOKA: This has taped everything that's happened in this court for five years - it should have seen what happened last night.

{The projected screen starts with a bit of fumbling}

CHWOKA: This brings me back...

{Chwoka presses a button and a ton of things happen on-screen}

CHWOKA: But we don't have five years to go down memory lane, let's jump to last night.

{Chwoka stops the fast-forwarding.}

CHWOKA: Here we are!

{Somebody stabs Judge Sr. in the gut}

???: ...and this is for the time you overruled me, {stabs judge again} and this is for the other time you overruled me...

{Chwoka stops the tape}

CHWOKA: I think that's enough of that, don't you?

PRINZ: ... Quite. Your Honor, tell me something.

JUDGE: Yes, Ms. Prinz?

PRINZ: Can you see the attacker's face in that shot?

JUDGE: I'm afraid not, Ms. Prinz.

PRINZ: That's right. This is barely conclusive evidence, Prosecutor.

CHWOKA: At least we have proved that the suspect had a beef with Judge Senior. Let's look at his case file. {Chwoka opens Marshall Law's case file andf skims it} While Marshall Law did, in fact, have a bad case against Judge that might have spun the murder, I hardly think we've looked at enough evidence to support Marshall Law as the suspect. Heck, even I had a bad case a few weeks ago - and I didn't go and murder Judge! Which effectively means that this case file is useless as evidence. {Chwoka puts away the case file} Unless Ms. Prinz wants to look over it, I would say we're done with it.

PRINZ: I've already looked over it, Prosecutor. No need to further dwell on it.