Gilligan 'n' Tracy/Ep5.

{the episode starts out with Gilligan and Tracy visiting a fair}

TRACY: So, Gilligan, where should we go next?

GILLIGAN: Hmmmmmm... we could go to that fourtentelling tent that just appeared out of nowhere. {Pan out to reveal a tent.}

TRACY: Hmm...

{the fortuneteller steps out, and she looks like a stereotypical gypsy}

TRACY: Okay, she seems legit.

{A few seconds later...}

{Gilligan and Tracy are inside the tent.}

FORTUNETELLER: So... You two want your fortunes told?

GILLIGAN: Yep! I wanna see if I accomplish my life long dream of being the king of awesomeness!

TRACY: And I would like to see if I ever surpass my father greatly in strength.

FORTUNETELLER: Oookay... Let's start with five years from now...

{cut to five years in the future via smoke}

{A 23 year old Gilligan is in an office. He looks the same but he has a mullet.}

FUTURE GILLIGAN: {Is doing paperwork} Okay... and done! Now that this is all filled out, New Jersey should explode by next week!

{a 23 year old Tracy drops down from the ceiling. He looks slightly taller, and has died his hair red}

FUTURE TRACY: Good. Um, wait. Shouldn't we tell what's happening in great detail? Y'know, since we watched this 5 years ago?

FUTURE GILLIGAN: Oh. Okay. {Looks towards screen.} Well, Tracy and I started a buissnes called T&G Cataclysm Co! We ended up being more sucsessfull then Malifact & Malifact!

FUTURE TRACY:{looks at screen} Ironically, my dad and Sarah's working for it!

{Phone on desk rings. Future Gilligan picks it up.}

FUTURE GILLIGAN: Hello? Oh. Okay, we'll be right there. {Hangs up.} Giant mutant rats are attacking the workers AGAIN.

FUTURE TRACY: Oh, God. I knew we shouldn't have hired that grombie with a taste for rat.

FUTURE GILLIGAN: I don't even know what a grombie is and I agree with ya!

{OOC: A Grombie's a Gaia Online thing}

FUTURE TRACY: Well, we better go down to the boiler room. That's where they usually keep the victims.

FUTURE GILLIGAN: {Pulls out a large golden sword.} Well, lets go.

FUTURE TRACY: Right. {pulls out two katanas}

{cut to the boiler room}

MUTANT RAT: SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

TRACY:{runs in} AAAA-Oh wait. Hold on. {runs out}

FUTURE TRACY:{runs in} THAT'S better.

MUTANT RAT 2: {Has a co-worker in it's mouth.}

FUTURE GILLIGAN: {Points sword at rat.} DROP HIM!!! DROP HIM NOW!!!

COWORKER: HELP ME! PLEASE!

FUTURE GILLIGAN: Hey, its not my fault he won't drop you!

COWORKER: YOU'RE A HORRIBLE BOSS! I QUIT!

FUTURE TRACY: Is that so? {nods to Mutant Rat 2}

{Mutant Rat 2 swallows the coworker whole}

FUTURE GILLIGAN: Good boy! {Gives the rat a cookie, then slices it's head off with his sword.}

FUTURE TRACY: Let's see who's next...

FUTURE GILLIGAN: {Attacked by a rat. Slices its head off.} Okay.

FUTURE TRACY: ...I have no idea what I mean by that. Heh.

FUTURE GILLIGAN: Neither do I. Lets just kill some rats.

FUTURE TRACY: Agreed. {grabs a mutant rat, walks over to a window, drops the rat out of it} I STILL don't see why there's a window in the boiler room. ...Or even why it's above ground.

{50 mutant rats surround Future Gilligan and Future Tracy.}

FUTURE GILLIGAN: Do you know what this means? We must have an awesome high-budget battle montage with slightly actiony music!!!

{The montage begins while This plays in the background}

FUTURE TRACY:{jumps up, kicks one rat into another, knocking them both out}

FUTURE GILLIGAN: {A rat attacks him. He dodges to the side and pierces his sword through the rat's stomach.}

FUTURE TRACY:{frontflips, smashes two rats' heads together}

FUTURE GILLIGAN: {Kicks a rat into anoter rat. They both explode.}

FUTURE TRACY:{spins katana in a circle, slices a rat in half}

{One long moment of pointless fighting later...}

FUTURE TRACY: HAI-YAA!!! {punches Future Gilligan in the face} Oh, sorry. I thought you were a rat. Anyways, I think that's all of them.

FUTURE GILLIGAN: {Falls down, bleeding from the face.} Yay...

FUTURE TRACY: Ooh. Well, nothing a little Applied Plebotinum can't fix. {tosses a bottle labled "Phleb." to FG}

{The bottle hits him in the eye}

FUTURE GILLIGAN: OW!!! Today is NOT my day!

FUTURE TRACY: Ouch. Uhh...

FUTURE GILLIGAN: {Gets up.}

{cut back to the present via smoke}

FORTUNETELLER: Now, how about ten years?

{cut to the future via smoke}

{A 28 year old Gilligan is on top of a building. He looks the same, except he's wearing a long brown cloak. He's holding his sword}

FUTURE GILLIGAN: {Sighs}

GILLIGAN: {Voiceover} Cool, I look badass!

TRACY:{voiceover} You do. But... Where the hell am I?

FUTURE GILLIGAN: {Looks at screen} I shall answer that, mysterious voice! You see, Tracy and I took our seperate ways 3 years ago. I haven't seen him ever since. I don't know what ever happened to him... but... I miss him.....

TRACY:{voiceover} Oh gee. I wonder where I am...

{cut to a desert. Unholy Tracy is walking along an old road}

TRACY:{voiceover} Eh? He looks more like my father than he does me.

{It cuts back to the present.}

FOURTUNETELLER: {Speaking really quickly} Well, times up. Bye! {Runs away}

GILLIGAN: Well, crap! {Looks at the crystal ball} Hmmm... I just got an idea...

TRACY: Hmm... Odd. We didn't have to pay her... And she didn't take our wallets... {picks up a wallet} And she left HER'S here!

GILLIGAN: Okay, I have TWO ideas! First, we split the money in that wallet 50/50.

TRACY: Okay. And, I'm guessing the other idea is to use the crystal ball ourselves?

GILLIGAN: Well, in a way. But not exactly what I was thinking. {Gets on top of the table.} HAAAAAAAAAA......DOOOOOOOOOO...... KEEEEEEEEEENNNN!!!! {Fires a hadoken at the crystal ball. It shatters and a time portal comes out of it.} It worked! Yes!!!

TRACY: NEAT! {jumps in}

GILLIGAN: LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA HAVTA' JUMP!!! {Jumps in. Going down the portal with Tracy.} WHEEEEEEEEE!!! This is awesome!

{Cut to seperate portal openings. The first one leads to Future Gilligan, and the second leads to Unholy Tracy. Cut back.}

GILLIGAN: Hey, what are those? {Points to the openings. Starts going towards the second portal opening while Tracy goes towards the first one.} Uh-oh! {Falls out of the second portal opening.}

TRACY: Holy craaaaaaaap!!!! {falls into first portal}

{cut to Unholy Tracy. Tracy falls onto him}

UNHOLY TRACY: What the he-OH DEAR GOD NO. Look, you. You aren't supposed to be here. You don't even exist in this universe anymore!

TRACY: What are you talking about?

UNHOLY TRACY: Look, it's hard to explain. {gives Tracy a copy of Records of Bell} Go to the Death of Bell section. Read the first epilogue.

{cut to Future Gilligan}

GILLIGAN: {Falling in the sky} HOLY {Bleep} ON A {Bleep}ING SANDWICH WITH {Bleep} ON TOP!!!!! {Falls on Future Gilligan}

FUTURE GILLIGAN: HOLY CRAP!!! What are you doing here!?

GILLIGAN: Time portal.

FUTURE GILLIGAN: Ah.

{cut back to the present}

FORTUNETELLER:{walks back in the tent} Hey, I forgot my wallet-{notices wallet is gone and crystal ball is smashed} Aw, crap.

{cut back to Unholy Tracy}

TRACY:{closes book} Huh. Interesting. So, um... I... Uhh... Er... Hmm... My brain hurts.

UNHOLY TRACY: It should. You got my sword lodged in the back of your head.

{Tracy turns his head, revealing a katana stuck in the back of his bell. He pulls it out and gives it back to Unholy Tracy. Cut back to Gilligan}

GILLIGAN: Wait, so let me get this straight. In the future, I become a badass hero who saves people and fights evil, and demons, and crap like that? AND I have a mullet?

FUTURE GILLIGAN: Yeah, pretty much.

{cut back to Tracy}

TRACY: So, hold on. Let me process this. In ten years' time, I fuse with the dying body of my father, who sacrificed himself because a being killed my stepmother, and I grow taller, get a mustache, and travel all over the world with my father's mutant Cheat/Trivia Time hybrid?

UNHOLY TRACY: And you're good with the ladies.

TRACY: My God, I'm becoming more of a Mary Sue every day!

UNHOLY TRACY: It runs in the family.

{cut back to Gilligan}

GILLIGAN: Hmmmm... you say you haven't seen Tracy in 3 years?

FUTURE GILLIGAN: Yeah....

GILLIGAN: {Turns around. Muttering to himself.} I think its about time they had a little renunion...

FUTURE GILLIGAN: ...I'm right, ya'know.

{cut back to Tracy}

TRACY: So, you haven't seen Gilligan in three years?

UNHOLY TRACY: Technically, I haven't ever seen him. But, I suppose you're correct, for the Tracy half of me hasn't seen Gil in three years.

TRACY: I think I can reunite him with you. I installed a tracking device inside Gilligan a year ago.

{Camera pans out to reveal Gilligan and Future Gilligan}

GILLIGAN: YOU WHAT!?

TRACY: ...I did it so you wouldn't get lost. Besides, I did TELL you before I implanted it.

GILLIGAN: ...Oh.

TRACY: i'm actually surprised you haven't noticed it. It's right above your belly button.

GILLIGAN: Really? I thought that was a pimple. Ya see, I've been breaking out latley, and-

FUTURE GILLIGAN: WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW.

TRACY: Anyways, this is what you could call the future me.

FUTURE GILLIGAN: T-tracy... its been so long...

UNHOLY TRACY: Yes... Yes it has...

TRACY: Hmm... Hey, Gilligan? Didn't you say you met someone like this when you were in Wikihood III?

GILLIGAN: Yeah.

FUTURE GILLIGAN: So... wanna a kill a guy and eat him just like old times?

UNHOLY TRACY: Sure, why not? But who to kill... {stabs Tracy in the heart, killing him. UT transforms into a decomposing Bell clone} OH GOD THIS WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA!

{Tracy regenerates, UT reforms}

UNHOLY TRACY: Oh right. The immortality.

{A random guy passes by. Future Gilligan slices his head off and kills him.}

FUTURE GILLIGAN: Well, lets eat. But lets keep on the down low... I'm a famous hero now.

UNHOLY TRACY: Really? Cool. I'm a mass murderer.

FUTURE GILLIGAN: ...Well this is gonna be an akward friendship.

UNHOLY TRACY: I'm not so sure about that. I'm hired by detective companies to kill people. The companies use the killings as test cases for new recruits. The people they arrest are just actors. I'm able to do what I love, and help stop other people from doing it themselves.

FUTURE GILLIGAN: Oh. Well, lets eat! {Starts gnawing on the dead guy's hand}

UNHOLY TRACY:{snaps off one of the guy's legs, eats it}

FUTURE GILLIGAN: Its good to be your friend again, buddy... {Eats a finger} Mmmmm! I forgot how good human flesh tasted! So, how have things been going?

UNHOLY TRACY: So-so. I just got back from Wikihood. My Tardis is busted. Locked in some sort of pod form. How're things going with you?

FUTURE GILLIGAN: I'm doing pretty good. Oh, did I mention I had a daughter?

{Dramatic music comes out of nowhere.}

UNHOLY TRACY: Really? Good for you. Who's the mother?

FUTURE GILLIGAN: Her name was- {Train passes by outta nowhere}. She left me with my daughter when she was born. I've been raising her by myself ever since.

UNHOLY TRACY: She left you?

FUTURE GILLIGAN: Yep. One night I'm in bed sleeping peacfully, the next day theres a newborn baby girl next to me.

STUDIO AUDIENCE: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww......

GILLIGAN: WHAT DO THESE PEOPLE WANT FROM ME!?!?!?

UNHOLY TRACY & TRACY: I got it. {both charge a hadoken} HADOOOOOOO... {both fire} KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{the studio audience explodes}

GILLIGAN: Thanks!

UNHOLY TRACY & TRACY: You're welcome. ...That's weird. So was that. SHUT UP!!! Okay...

GILLIGAN: Hmmm... I was wondering something... Tracy, how are we gonna get back to the present?

TRACY: Simple. {claps hand twice. a portal opens to the fortunetelling booth. The fortuneteller is still there}

FORTUNETELLER: Hey! Give me back my money!

{Tracy frantically closes the portal}

GILLIGAN: Well this sucks!

TRACY: I can open a portal outside the booth.

GILLIGAN: Well, lets go.

TRACY: Right. {opens a portal outside the fortunetelling booth} Bye, y'all!

GILLIGAN: {Jumps through portal with Tracy.}

FUTURE GILLIGAN: WAIT! {Portal closes.} Aw, crap.

UNHOLY TRACY: What's wrong?

FUTURE GILLIGAN: I was about to warn them of that huge war that happened years ago!

UNHOLY TRACY: You mean the one that led to us stop being friends?

FUTURE GILLIGAN: Yeah! And in their time, it should happen in a month!

UNHOLY TRACY: Um, what? I thought that war was three years ago.

FUTURE GILLIGAN: {Pulls out a laptop that shows the show's page on the wiki user wiki.} Look under episode six.

UNHOLY TRACY:{takes laptop} Eh? Malifact & Malifact? Hmm... I knew something was odd about him... {hands FG back the laptop}

FUTURE GILLIGAN: {Sigh} No, look UNDER episode 6! Look at episode 7!

UNHOLY TRACY: Huh? Oh. {takes laptop again} Oh gee. I wonder what immortal it is...

{OOC: I have no idea who it is. If possible, either email me with the Email User feature, or PM me on the HRFWiki Forum. IRC is not acceptable. Java screws with my browser}

{OOC: I'm still trying to figure that out actually.}

'OOC: Oy. What immortals do we know...}

{OOC: Lets think. I was thinking some guy from hell. But who?}

{OOC: Uhh... I'm thinking something-I'll just PM you}

{OOC: Okay! I'll check the forum right now! But first...}

ITS OVER!!!