Con email.wue/119

Summary

Stuff happens, Cruroar, Cruria and Homsar have a small fight with soldiers and meet the villain for the story arc, meanwhile, Conchris and Homestar are trying to find an exit.

Transcript

{Cut to some white space, Conchris is walking around}

CONCHRIS: Gezz, I really need to get out of here... nobody here is of help!

{Conchris trips over, pan out to reveal Homestar huddled near a fire, which has Conchris' foot in it, which is slowly burning}

CONCHRIS: Ow. Homestar?! What are you doing?

HOMESTAR: Shh! I'm trying to make a marshmallow roast here!

CONCHRIS: Well, that's stupid. Anyway, I'd better go and check my email, oh wait...

{Cut out, Conchris' voice echoes}

CONCHRIS: THERE ARE NO FREAKING COMPUTERS!

{pause, then cut to The Field, Cruroar and Cruria are carrying backpacks on their backs}

CRUROAR: Okay, we'll need stuff to invade that evil guy's base. Water?

CRURIA: Yes.

CRUROAR: Food?

CRURIA: Check.

CRUROAR: Weapons?

CRURIA: Er.... Mostly Check?

CRUROAR: Homsar?

{Homsar's head pops out of Cruroar's backpack}

HOMSAR: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaa'm the greatest miracle!

{Cut back to some white space}

CONCHRIS: Wait-a-minute, I can bend this to my will! I want an exit.

{Nothing happens}

CONCHRIS: Okay, a computer with a desk?

{A computer with a desk pops out of nowhere}

CONCHRIS: Tandy? It'll have to do...

{Cut out to reveal Homestar}

HOMESTAR: Oh hey! Can I borrow that computer box for a second?

CONCHRIS: {sighs} For what?

HOMESTAR: For my project!

CONCHRIS: No, now get outta my face!

{Homestar walks off}

CONCHRIS: Let's see...

Dear Conchris, Of all the people in the world, I decide to email you. I have been betrayed, and locked in a dungeon. Please save me, and I will tell you of the peril you are facing. Totally not Mr. Person, Someone who totally ISN'T Mr. Person

CONCHRIS: Okay, Someone who totally isn't Mr. Person, I'll be honest, I can't help you out because that stupid voice locked me in here with quote 'one of the lame characters' unquote. We're still trying to escape THIS dungeon. {shouts} Hey Homestar! Have you found an exit yet?

{Cut out, Homestar runs up and kneels down}

HOMESTAR: Not yet, but we're getting close!

{Cut to outside the evil base, the camera pans down to reveal Cruroar, Cruria and Homsar standing there}

CRUROAR: Err... gee, this base looks {has trouble pronouncing impenetrable} impenetrable.

CRURIA: Well, what we'd expect? A tea party?

{Cut to the field, a bunch of bad guys are drinking tea}

MISTAR BADD SPELIN AND GRAMMA: I say, this evil doing business is such fun!

SHADOWY FIGURE: How about we have a spot of Kick The Cheat?

MR. PERSON: What a splendid idea!

{Cut back, several soldiers from the background get closer}

CRUROAR: Quick! Hide!

{Cruroar, Cruria and Homsar hide behind a rock whilst the soldiers pass, before the last one passes, Homsar leaps up}

HOMSAR: Pshooo.... {the bowler hat flies off and whacks the last soldier in the head, making him fall down. Homsar lands}

CRUROAR: {quietly} Homsar! What are you doing? We don't want to attract any attention!

HOMSAR: Daaaaaaa'm the greatest foster pants!

{Cut to the soldiers, they turn around, cut back}

CRUROAR: Nuts... Time for plan B, thank goodness I stole Conchris' experimental laser blades earlier!

{Cruroar jumps out and draws out two laser blades, their colours are blue and green respectively}

CRUROAR: Looks like your intruders outgunned you, right?

{Cut to a wider shot, the soldiers draw their guns}

CRUROAR: Meep? Homsar?

{Pan over to Homsar}

HOMSAR: Daaaaaaaaa'm the monkey's joke! {runs towards the soldiers}

{The soldiers start firing, Cruroar dodges the fire as Homsar blindly runs towards them, Cruroar lands and knocks one out, two soldiers try to grab him (despite his smallness) but Homsar runs into them and Cruroar, knocking them out of his way, at the end of the fight, Homsar remains standing with Cruroar with slight bruises}

CRUROAR: {breathing heavily, voice slowly grows weaker} Is that it? Is that what they got?

???: I believe not.

{Pan over to reveal a mysterious figure}

???: As you can see, I have three question marks in my name, I am mysterious.

CRUROAR: Sure you are. Who are you?

???: Remember that email with more than 2 parts?

CRUROAR: Canon's end?

???: Yes, that's the one, you see, I'M CONRIL!

CRUROAR: GASP!

{Cut to Cruria, still stationed behind a rock}

CRURIA: Who's Conril?

{Cut back}

CRUROAR: And what are you going to do?

CONRIL: Well, now that I'm an evil overlord, I can do evil stuff, like this. {snaps fingers but nothing happens}

CRUROAR: Like what?

HOMSAR: Pshooo.... {the bowler hat starts flying towards Conril but falls back down}

CONRIL: I've disabled Homsar's ability to defy gravity.

CRUROAR: What?!

CONRIL: And now, I'm going to disappear into the shadows and watch as you rescue Mr. Person from the invegetable.

CRUROAR: Inevitable.

CONRIL: That's what I said. MWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! {disappears into the shadows}

CRUROAR: That was stupid, come on, let's go and rescue Mr. Person!

{Transition effect, cut to the jail}

MR. PERSON: So, you've come to rescue me, eh?

CRUROAR: Pretty much.

HOMSAR: DaaaaaaaaaI has the grand cheese!

MR. PERSON: And you brought that... thing with you?

CRUROAR: Yeah.

HOMSAR: Pshooo.... {the hat wobbles but doesn't move}

MR. PERSON: Just let me out!

CRUROAR: Okay!

CRURIA: Can I get a line?

CRUROAR: You just did. Cut to Conchris please!

{Cut to white space, scrawlings of random stuff are on the 'walls', pan over to Conchris, with his knees close to him and rocking back and forth}

CONCHRIS: Must get out... Must get out... He he he ha ha ha ha! {eyes begin to twitch}

{Homestar peeks his head out}

HOMESTAR: Hey there, Conchis! There's an exit over here! {Pan right, revealing an exit}

CONCHRIS: {suddenly jumps up} Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!

{Conchris and Homestar runs through, fade to black, the words 'To Be Continued' fades in}

{The Paper comes down reading, "Click here to email Conchris!"}

Fun Facts

• There are several fourth wall breakages in this email.
• Cruria not knowing about Conril indirectly references the fact that some characters are rarely used.