(even if you aren't vegan)
Con email.wue/118
Summary
Conchris gets a virus email, he and Homestar gets teleported to another universe, Cruroar and Cruria try to find them.
Characters (In order of appearance): Conchris, Homestar, Voice, Cruria, Cruroar, Homsar, Strong Bad, Homschool Winner, Homschool Runner, Bubs, Pom Pom, Strong Sad, Singers (Voice Only)
Transcript
CONCHRIS: Something about emails.
ert+ all over again?Dear Concridfefufgkbvj,
Frum TEH ViR0S
T475J3 TGJT4845JT!~2e4e#e!@ THIS IS A ViRUS
{Conchris reads the email, pronounces everything as it looks, a pause, Conchris gets up and leaves}
{Wind begins to whistle}
CONCHRIS: {faintly, growing louder} AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! {whacks the keyboard}
DELORTED?!?!?!?
CONCHRIS: {sighs} I'm going...
{Conchris walks off}
{The Paper comes down reading, "Click here to email Conchris!"}
{A pause, Homestar walks in}
HOMESTAR: Conchris! I'm wearing a hat and a trenchcoat! Do you know where Strong Bad disappeared to? {looks at the computer} Ooh! An email!
ert+ all over again?Dear Concridfefufgkbvj,
Nice try, Dodongo...
T475J3 TGJT4845JT!~2e4e#e!@ THIS IS A ViRUS
Frum TEH ViR0S
{Homestar reads the email as it says}
HOMESTAR: Err... CONCHRIS! I think your computer box has words on it!
CONCHRIS: {offscreen} Huh? {walks in from the left} WHAT THE?!
{The screen darkens}
VOICE: Mwhahahahahaha....
CONCHRIS: Oh hey Voice.
VOICE: Oh... hey... Now where was I?
HOMESTAR: THE CEILING IS TALKING TO ME!!
VOICE: {sighs} You're the ones who could stop my master!
HOMESTAR: Who are, darkness man?
VOICE: {sighs} Yes. Yes, I am the darkness man... And it's YOU TWO!
HOMESTAR: Oh! Right. Right.
CONCHRIS: And you're here because?
VOICE: To transport you to another universe of course!
CONCHRIS: You've already done that.
VOICE: Not through {a portal appears} swirly photo-shopped magic of course!
{The portal sucks both Homestar and Conchris in, and then closes, Cruria comes in}
CRURIA: Hello? I've heard something. Where are you?
VOICE: Get outta here, I need some alone time!
CRURIA: Fine, stupid voice... {walks off}
VOICE: Excellent, one guardian down, one more to go. MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA {coughs, then splutters} I should really work on my evil laugh...
{The Paper comes down, reading, "Click here to email Conchris! Or just read the rest of this.}
{After a while, The Paper goes back up, Cruroar walks in with Cruria}
CRUROAR: You sure this is where you last heard him?
CRURIA: Yeah!
CRUROAR: Hmm... Very mysterious... He's not here... Maybe we could investigate!
{Cut to Cruria, she is wearing a hat and trenchcoat which is similar to Homestar's get-up}
CRUROAR: That's the spirit! Now let's investigate!
{Action music starts playing, cut to a road with Cruroar and Cruria driving a car, then cut to a close up of Cruroar, the words beside him reading "Starring Cruroar and...", cut to Cruria, who flings a magnifying glass at the camera, the words that pop up after the camera has broken reads "Cruria in...", cut to a title screen with the words "Cheat, Investigate!" on the top, cut to The Field}
CRUROAR: So tell me friend, which one of the... morons, sent you? SBE Wolf or the BCE Jackal?
HOMSAR: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Pea Soup is in the continent of aura!
CRUROAR: Okay... I guess so. Where can we find this... Ahem... Pea Soup?
HOMSAR: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA {continues}
CRUROAR: {shouting} Okay, I'm going to ask someone else.
{Cut to Strong Bad's Basement, Strong Bad is playing a game}
CRURIA: Do you know where-
STRONG BAD: Shut up, I'm trying to play!
{pause, Cruria walks away silently, an atari-like explosion is heard}
STRONG BAD: Aw man! That was my last life!
{Cut to outside the house of the Brothers Hom, Homschool Winner is hammering at a door buzzer}
HOMSCHOOL WINNER: Eh. {whack} Eh. {whack} Eh. {whack} Eh. {whack} All done! {puts hammer away} Finally! A place we can call home! {notices Cruria walking up to him} Oh hello, stranger! Came to admire our handiwork?
CRURIA: It's uhh.... great! Do you know where Conchris went?
HOMSCHOOL WINNER: Well...
HOMSCHOOL RUNNER: {bursts in} No. Bye.
{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand}
CRUROAR: Oh hey, Bubs, do you know where Conchris is?
BUBS: Lemme check my {picks up a list} computer here... {squints at it} Nnnngh, nope, not here!
CRUROAR: Oh. TO THE STICK!
{Cut to The Stick, Cruroar and Cruria comes in, Pom Pom is in the background, looking at the sky}
CRUROAR: Any luck?
CRURIA: Nope...
CRUROAR: Dang! I wonder {close-up of Pom Pom, whose eyes widen, mystical music plays} where he got to?
POM POM: {bubbles}
CRUROAR: Huh? Pom Pom's saying something!
POM POM: {bubbles and points to the sky}
{Cut to the sky, a meteorite with a small note on it is falling, a dramatic sound plays}
CRUROAR: HOLY CRAP! A big meteor is heading towards us!
{Cut to Bubs Concession Stand}
BUBS: Eh, I had a good run! {ducks under the counter and places a small tab which reads, "End of the world sale! 100% not off!" on the counter}
{Cut back to The Stick, more characters are gathered around}
CRUROAR: Okay, don't panic! Let's all go nice and calm to the Cardboardium Alloy made shelter until it all blows over... RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
{All the characters start screaming and running towards the Cardboardium Alloy Shelter, Cruroar shuts the door behind them}
{Cut to inside the shelter}
CRUROAR: Okay, everyone's here except... BUBS AND HOMSAR?!
{Cut to The Field, the meteorite is closing, Homsar wobbles on}
HOMSAR: DAAAAAAAAAA-GULP {swallows the meteorite whole and spits out the note}
{Cut back to the shelter}
CRUROAR: Nevermind, Homsar saved the day.
{Sighs of relief are heard in the background}
STRONG SAD: I was hoping we would...
CRUROAR: Shut up Strong Sad!
{All the characters start pouring out of the Cardboardium Alloy Shelter}
{Cut back to The Field, Cruroar and Cruria walks in}
CRUROAR: A note! {picks it up} Let's see what it says...
Dear Villain,
We have successfully delivered that meteorite you wanted.
P.S.: This meteorite should only be used to destroy anyone you hate, like that Mr. Person you put in there...
You probably won't have time to read it anyway, since
that meteor's gonna crash and destroy the country.
Crapfully yours,
Meteorite Flingin' Inc.
CRUROAR: That doesn't explain anything! But there is one thing...
CRURIA: What?
{Cruroar looks up into the sky and starts shaking his fist at the sky}
CRUROAR: NEXT EMAIL, MR. PERSON! NEXT EPIISSSOOOOOODDDEEEEE!
SINGERS: Now it's time for the email rap, yeah let's go and take it, just like that! {record scratches}
{The Paper comes down, reading, "Click here to email Conchris! Or err... Cruroar. I dunno."}
