Biterphobia/2

The gang enters a kareoke contest only to be somewhat humiliated

Cast (in order of appearance): CC, TV Announcer, Spencer, Hannah, Vendor, Debby, Simon Cowell, Ozzy, Travis Barker, Dr. Dre, Christian

Places: The Apartment, Booth Station

Date: Saturday; December 6, 2008

Transcript

{As the new theme song, "Dammit" by blink-182, ends, we cut to CC, laying upside-dwon on the couch, his long, spikey bangs touching the floor. He's flipping through the channels in rapid-fire order. Occasionaly, something might interest him, only to find out it has nothing interesting at all. CC moans of boredom}

TV: GET JUICY WATERMELLONS HALF-OFF.....I knew you loved me John......COME ON DOWN!

CC: Ugh, will this guy SHUT UP with the whole "COME ON DOWN!" thing! Seriously. The shows tanking anyways.

TV ANNOUNCER: DO YOU WANT TO BE RICH?

CC: Wait, so this isn't The Price is Right?

TV ANNOUNCER: DO YOU WANT TO BE FAMOUS?

CC: And this ISN'T that announcer I hate deeply?

TV ANNOUNCER: DO YOU WANT TO HAVE ALL THE GIRLS AROUND YOUR SHOULDER?

CC: Umm, Mr. TV guy, I'm in a relationship right now. She skin me alive if I went with someone even scarcley" more pretty then her.

TV ANNOUNCER: Well then, COME ON DOWN TO THE BITERPHOBIA CITY KAREOKE CONTEST!

CC: {Flipping right-side up} Did you just say "Biterphobia City Kareoke Contest"?

TV ANNOUNCER: THAT'S RIGHT, BITERPHOBIA CITY KAREOKE CONTEST!

CC: Dude, I LOVE kareoke! WHERE DO I SIGN UP?!

TV ANNOUNCER: So, you think you got the chops to win the grand mystery prize?

CC: YEAH, WHERE DO I SIGHN UP?!

TV ANNOUNCER: You want to pray you don't to not make yourself the laughing stock of Biterphobia City?

{CC jumps from the couch and lands so his face is smearing the TV}

CC: I said, WHERE DO I SIGN UP?!?!

TV ANNOUNCER: Well, if you have "it", come on down to the booth station at 10:00 AM. See ya' there!

{The commercial ends, and changes to a rerun of "Family Values". CC's already getting ready, until he stops in the middle of brushing his teeth}

CC: Wait, I gotta' tell the guys about this!

{CC runs to the phone. He dials a number. Soon, Spencer answers}

CC: Spencer, buddy 'ole pal? I'm gonna' be in the Biterphobia City Kareoke Contest!

SPENCER: I know, everyone's entered the contest. Hannah, Christian, Blake, Simon Cowell.

CC: Simon Cowell? Since when did he live here?

SPENCER: No, he flew in from England to judge.

CC: {Pauses for a minute} Ooookaay. Then, who else is judging, might I ask?

SPENCER: Let's see, we got Ozzy, we got Travis Barker, we got Dre there.

CC: Whoa, I never knew Biterphobia City was so high-profile.

SPENCER: Didn't you see the huge sign that said "Current Population: too many"at the city gates? You COULDN'T ave missed it!

CC: Uh, dude, I was in a crate the whole time.

SPENCER: Whatever dude, it's 9:30, you better get ready.

{Spencer hangs up. CC puts the phone down}

CC: Okay, I have a torn shirt, cut-up pants, I've got half-yellow teeth, and I haven't combed my hair. I should win easily! Now, what song am I gonna play? Think...Think...THIIINK!

{The camera zooms into CC's ear, into his cranium, where there's dobbelgangers of D12, performing "My Band". Zoom out of CCs ear and back to regular view}

CC: BRAIN BLAST, I think! Well, of to the booth station.

{Cut to the booth station, a place choke-full of booths of various booths. Photo booths, shower booths, Boot booths (Whatever that is), you name it, they got it! Cut to the entrance, where CC's looking around for the contest. He finally sees a stand where people are getting their tickets for the contest. CC runs in, only to bump into Hannah}

HANNAH: Oh, CC, um, hi?

CC: Hi. Did you just get here?

HANNAH:, No, I kept dropping my purse my purse and people would cut me while I was picking it up.

{CC gives Hannah the evil-eye}

HANNAH: Okay, I had to use the bathroom. {She looks at the front} Oh, I'm next!

{Hannah walks up to the front, signs a paper, and is handed a little ticket.}

VENDOR: Booth 27, ma'am.

{Hannah walks off, while CC walks up to the front}

VENDOR: Please sign the paper, sir.

{CC is given a paper, and starts writing on it. He gives it to the ticket vendor, who looks at it weird}

VENDOR: Sir, why'd you say your birthday Febuary 30th?

CC: Whell, I was born midnight on a leap year, and the docter thought there was a Feburary 30th, so that's what he put on my birth certificate.

VENDOR: Um, okay. Booth 28, sir.

{CC walks around, trying to look for his booth when he bumbs into Christian's wife, Debby}

DEBBY: dude, you're gonna' hurt the baby!

CC: Sorry Debby, I'm just trying to look for my booth. Where's Christian?

DEBBY: Simon told him to get vocal chord surgery, and he stormed off yelling at the top of his lungs.

CC: Harsh. Well, she ya'.

{CC walks away from Debby, and finnaly sees a booth with the words "Booth 28" written on it. Cut to CC sitting in a chair. He's got Simon Cowell, Ozzy, Travis Barker, and Dr. Dre sitting across the room.}

OZZY: Okaay, so, we heard your recording.

{There is an awkward pause.}

CC: And...?

TRAVIS: We thought it was a recording fit for any lead singer to sing.

DRE: Yeah, the guys think you might have potential.

CC: YES!

SIMON: However...

CC: WHAT?!

SIMON: I thought you couldv'e changed your voice when someone new came in.

DRE: But hey, it was a good track. I'll show Eminem this.

CC: You WILL?!

DRE: Sure, if that's cool with you.

CC: YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT'S COOL WITH ME!

{Cut to outside the station. The judges are standing next to podium, with mics on all of 'em}

TRAVIS: Okay, before we get to the winners...

SIMON: ...We'll show you a recording that just missed the cut.

{On the speakers, Hannah, singing "Love Story" by Taylor Swift plays, greatly off-key. Almost the whle crowd, even Hannah herself covers their ears}

OZZY: In third place...

{Now Spencer, singing "Rollin'" by Limp Bizkit, plays to some applause.}

DRE: In second place {Chuckles}

{Now, Christian, singing Eminems part of "Forgot Abour Dre", plays, to some laughter. Pan down to Christian with Debby, witha scorn still on his face from Simons comment}

SIMON: And first place, drum roll please...

{A random millitary drum roll starts. There is then silence for the next 10 seconds}

SIMON: THE GEICO CAVEMAN WITH "Why so easy?"!

CROWD: WHAT!?!?

{Cut back to CCs apartment. Hannah is with him.}

CC: Well, at least Dre said he'd show my recording to Em.

HANNAH: See, you didn't do so bad after all.

CC: {Laughs} At least they showed your song.

HANNAH: I don't wanna' talk about it.

CC: Admit it, I did better then you!

HANNAH: Okay, I guess.

CC: See, now everyone's happy.

{The scene fades to black, while the credits roll. After the credits rolls, CC's voice pipes in}

CC: Y'know, I wonder what the Caveman won.

{Cut to a cave where the caveman is freaking out. His prize is a car with Geico insurance. On the hood, posing, is the Gecko. The scene then ends}