Aruseus Emails/magictricks

Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Tom, Van, Fang, Ike

Places: Aruseus' Room, The Kitchen, Outside the House

Computer: SkyPod

Date: August 14th, 2008

Transcript

ARUSEUS: {singing} The city is at war, but I check my email still!

{Aruseus clicks the email icon}

subject: Aruses email

Hey. I am a girl from sweden and like magic. Could you do
a magic trick? I would be so happy, and maybe visit some
day. Her are a tips to you: Take fang wolf in a box
and take a saw and saw him.
From Agnes in sweden!

ARUSEUS: {typing} So...old Swedish Fish wants me to give Fang a saw and then do magic tricks. Sweet. Well, Angus beef, I'll do just that! TO THE HARDWARE STOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

TOM: Before you make that Weird Al reference, you're an idiot.

ARUSEUS: I love you too!

TOM: Ooooook. Agnes here wants you to perform the classic saw-in-half trick on Fang.

ARUSEUS: Really? Now?

TOM: Well, knowing you...you need to stick with simpler tricks.

ARUSEUS: What do you mean? I'm good enough to saw Fang down the middle on my own!

TOM: Erm...You ever wonder why Foxx is an android?

ARUSEUS: No.

TOM: Exactly.

ARUSEUS: Wait...what did that have to do with this?

TOM: Urgh...just...do what you want. But if Fang dies...AGAIN...you'll pay.

ARUSEUS: M'kay.

{Cut to the Kitchen, Aruseus is rummaging through various drawers while Van watches}

VAN: What are you doing?

ARUSEUS: Looking for magical things for magical trickery.

VAN: Pfft. Magic.

ARUSEUS: Oh, come on, Van. Don't get all grumpy and start ranting on how illogical it is.

VAN: Okay, fine. Nice SSBB reference by the way.

ARUSEUS: Well, I got nothing. I'm off!

{Aruseus runs off and a can opener flies out of the drawer. It hits Van and lands on the ground. Van stares at it and then explodes.}

ARUSEUS: Sorry, it's right-handed.

{Cut to outside the house, Aruseus is in a top hat, and Fang is standing next to him. Aruseus hands him a saw}

ARUSEUS: Here you go.

FANG: Thanks.

TOM: You idiot. {He brings in a box and shoves Fang in it}

FANG: IT'S A TRAP! AAAAAAAAAHHH!

???: Gotcha!

{Ike falls from the sky and slices the box in two}

ARUSEUS: Thanks, Ike!

IKE: I always fight for my friends.

{The Paper}

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