(even if you aren't vegan)
Assistant's Blog/1
10. Whoops - 12.18.08
Woah, I missed a day! That's not right, now is it? Sorry, I'll try updating more often.
Anyway, I was out yesterday thanks to Christmas shopping. I had to get some presents for Number Two and the Cohens--they're so nice to me, I figured I should return the favor. I'd tell you what they were, but that's a secret! 
I've gotta go. I need to go check on the potatoes au gratin I've got for dinner tonight. Good stuff.
Mood: cooking
Tunes: Fire-Eyed Boy - Broken Social Scene
9. Damnit. - 12.16.08
Sorry, guys. Number Two found my blog and I'm not sure how to delete posts. But whatever. I'm just going to be diligent in keeping him away from my computer. 
I really need to set a password on my computer.
Mood: disheveled
Tunes: Maple Treeway - Mario Kart Wii
8. User names - 12.16.08
I find it a little weird that, of all names, Assistant wasn't taken. Isn't that we
Ahahaha! I can't believe that dope left his blog open! Now I get to write what I want! Finally, my chance to shine! ... Though you're all probably wondering who I am. I'm Number Two, Assistant's master and soon to be the ruler of the world the country the suburb! I guess I'll be using this blog every once in a while, on the down low.
Oh, and by the by? I saw what you wrote, Assistant. Not cool. 
Mood: lucky me 
Tunes: Nobody Knows - Queens of the Stone Age
7. Ketchup = blood? - 12.16.08
Some of you might not know this, but I do enjoy playing a trick on Number Two every once in a while. So I got to thinking--"what would freak him out the most?" The answer, of course, being anal bleeding.
So I stuck a couple ketchup packets underneath the bumps on the toilet seat--which he uses, by the by... Not sure how. But anyway, he sat right down, and pop! Now his legs were covered in ketchup and he was screaming for dear life! I had to stifle my laughter--I nearly died!
So, have any of you ever played a trick on somebody? If so, what?
Mood: entertained
Tunes: Vicinity of Insanity - System of a Down
6. Quick post - 12.15.08
All of you need to play Trilby: Art of Theft. Like, right now.
Mood: playful
Tunes: Christmas music on the radio
5. Leftovers - 12.15.08
Dinner last night was pretty good--conversation all around, a tasty turkey and stuffing... good stuff. Man, I wish I took back some leftovers. But everything here has to be inspected by Number Two first--he says its some sort of precaution. For what?
Oh, whatever. I guess I just don't understand him. What a moron.
Mood: hungry 
Tunes: Octopus' Garden - The Beatles
4. Going to dinner - 12.14.08
I just can't stop posting today... that's a nasty habit, huh? But seriously, some news from the homefront.
So my nextdoor neighbor, Casey, invited me over for dinner today! I wonder how it's going to go... hopefully it'll end up well. Despite, you know, being mortal enemies with her dog robot roommate, Skullbuggy. Then again, we're not so much mortal enemies, but... well, we're not even enemies anymore.
Wow. Why am I still an assistant? How existential.
Mood: contemplating 
Tunes: Reptilia - The Strokes
3. Christmas thinking - 12.14.08
Just a little tidbit... I've been wondering about what I want for Christmas this year. I was thinking of getting one of those Nintendo Wii things, but I'm still not sure. If you want, you can tell me in the comments... I should get back to you. Maybe one of you can get me something... *winks*
Mood: festive
Tunes: Have a Holly Jolly Christmas - That Snowman from Rudolph
2. Errands and such - 12.14.08
I figured I should probably write a real entry today, rather than just an introduction. It seems a bit amateur not to. Plus, I've gotta get some writing practice in, am I right?
Anyhow, today Number Two had me go out and buy some parts for a new weapon he's building... some sort of death ray I think. We all know how those never work, though, so I just spent all my money on stuff for me and told him they were out of particle generators He's such a dope. ... It's probably not a good idea to talk about him behind his back, especially on the World Wide Web, but I just can't resist!
So I got some nice things today--mostly CDs and stuff. Given that he gave me hundreds of dollars, I naturally splurged on some expensive things--like a new iTouch. It's so cool--you touch it to control it! ... Of course, that's kinda obvious, but still! I also bought some music to put on there, and I'm listening to it right now.
I've gotta stop writing--I promised I'd let Number Two use my computer to check his emails. Later, all!
Mood: shopping spree!
Tunes: Monsters - Matchbook Romance
1. New blog - 12.14.08
Well, I got a blog. My boss has been really stressing me out lately, what with all the villainous work I've got to do, so I figured the best place to vent would be a blog. I hope you all like it... I mean, it's just been made, but I still think it looks good. I like the colors, at least. Peace.
Mood: stressed out
Tunes: Burning Down the House - The Talking Heads
