(even if you aren't vegan)
Objection!/Stan1
Court Records
- CASE NAME: Bittersweet Turnabout
- CASE DESCRIPTION: Stan's first case as a defense attorney. A famous confectioner dies after being poisoned. His sister is to blame, but is she guilty or not?
- JUDGE PRESIDING: The Honorable Judge Judge Sr.
- VICTIM: Wallace Knotts
- DEFENDANT: Hazel Knotts
- PROSECUTOR: Marshall Law
- DEFENSE: Stan
- WITNESSES: Jon (detective), Harold Carey, Beatrice Sweete
- VERDICT: Not Guilty
Evidence
- Defense Attorney's Badge - It's my new badge. Its lustrous gleam stands out against my nice new suit.
- Autopsy Report - Victim: Wallace Knotts. Died: 1/7, 10:55 AM. COD: Potassium cyanide poisoning.
- Chocolate Truffles - Found at the scene of the crime. Contains traces of poison.
- Delivery Report - Reports a delivery to Wallace Knotts at 10:30 AM. Delivered item was a box of chocolate fudge.
Court Transcript
{Open: the Prinz & Co. Law Offices. Stan is at a desk, doing paperwork. Suddenly, a large, intimidating man walks over. He is clearly aging--and pretty well.}
PRINZ: Ah, Stanley. How's the work going?
STAN: Pretty good, Mr. Prinz!
PRINZ: Please, call me Sebastian. Mr. Prinz was my father.
STAN: No, I insist... I like how formal it sounds.
PRINZ: Ha-ha-ha... Anyway, I'm here to deliver a new case file. I'm sure you'll find it interesting!
STAN: Why is that, sir?
PRINZ: For one thing, it's a murder case. Very odd, too!
STAN: Oh, really? I'd better take a look, then!
PRINZ: And for a good reason, too. You're on this one, Stan.
STAN: ... Really? I'm going to get this case?
PRINZ: Well, why not? I can't let my daughter take them all, now can I?
STAN: I certainly hope not, sir!
PRINZ: That's enough "sirs" for one day, Stanley. You're headed to the detention center--that's as good a place to start as any.
STAN: Alright, then... I might as well!
PRINZ: Good. I'll catch up with the investigation later, then?
STAN: Yep! See you later, Mr. Prinz!
{Stan walks out of the room, whistling.}
PRINZ: Ah, to be young again... if only.
{Cut: the detention center. Stan walks in.}
STAN: Yikes... it's so cold in here...
???: Well, it is winter, right?
STAN: AAAH! Who was that?!
{Stan turns around to see a young woman sitting behind the glass.}
STAN: Oh! ... You must be Ms. Knotts, correct?
HAZEL: Please, Hazel will do.
STAN: Oh, alright, then. So, Hazel... you're in here for...?
HAZEL: Murder, is what they think... But I didn't do it! I swear on my life!
STAN: Oh, uh... okay. I'm sure you're innocent!
HAZEL: Are y-you just saying that, or are you really sure?
STAN: I'm sure! R-really!
HAZEL: ... I'm done for.
STAN: Hey! I may be a rookie, but-
HAZEL: I might as well sit right down in the electric chair! I'm doooomed!
STAN: Calm down, please! Now, Ms. Knotts... what happened? I need to hear from you.
HAZEL: Well... Me and my brother, Wally, we got the inheritance from our father to start a candy shop, but he and I split ways-
STAN: No, no. About the crime, please.
HAZEL: Oh, sorry! Wally was poisoned, and it wasn't me! Really!
STAN: Okay. Short, concise, and to the point... (Better than nothing.)
HAZEL: So, wh-why are you here, anyway? I thought my lawyer was coming...
STAN: (I take it she didn't notice the badge.) I'm your lawyer, Ms. Knotts.
HAZEL: R-really? ... Are you sure I'm not getting Ms. Prinz?
STAN: (Lydia... always the famous one.) Nope. Her father entrusted me with this one.
HAZEL: ... I'm doomed!
STAN: '(Oh, come on!) Listen, just give me a chance, Ms. Knotts, and I'm sure you'll be found innocent! I was trained by a good man!
HAZEL: ... Alright, I guess. But if I'm found guilty, I'll... I don't know what I'll do!
STAN: (Yeah, she doesn't seem like the murderous type.) Alright, then. Ms. Knotts, I'll be back soon. I just need some evidence that proves your innocence!
HAZEL: I'm counting on you, Mr. Lawyer!
STAN: Don't worry, Ms. Knotts. I'll do fine.
{Cut: the crime scene--the Knotts Candy Shop.}
STAN: (She said she was counting on me... that's a pretty heavy responsibility...) Well, this is the place, I think. At least... it says "Knotts" on the sign-
???: Hey, pal! What're you doing here?
STAN: AAAAH! Will people stop sneaking up on me?!
{Stan looks around to see Jon, standing there.}
JON: ... Who're you, anyway?
STAN: Uh... Stan. Rookie defense attorney.
JON: Oh... so Ms. Prinz isn't on this one?
STAN: (Oh, for the love of-) No, I'm afraid not.
JON: Gotcha. ... So, are you new to the circuit?
STAN: The wh-what?
JON: The circuit. Investigating and stuff.
STAN: Oh, r-right. I'm not really that experienced, yet, but I think I know what to do.
JON: Right, right. So, you're looking for evidence, right?
STAN: Of course!
JON: I've got a couple things right here.
{Jon hands several pieces of evidence over to Stan.}
STAN: The autopsy report... and some chocolates?
JON: Don't eat 'em, pal! Those are poisoned!
STAN: P-poisoned?!
JON: Yep. Those are the murder weapons, so to speak.
STAN: That's gh-ghoulish! Poisoning chocolates?
JON: Yep... bittersweet any way you look at it.
STAN: G-great. ... Were there any witnesses, Detective?
JON: Yep. Two of 'em.
STAN: Names?
JON: One of them was the delivery boy, Harold Carey. The other was the victim's fiancee, Beatrice Sweete.
STAN: I see.
JON: So, is that all?
STAN: Yep... I need to get going to court.
JON: Sounds like a good idea.
STAN: Alright, then. Goodbye, Detective!
JON: See you.
{Stan leaves.}
{Cut: the defense lobby.}
STAN: Oh, no... oh, no!
PRINZ: Is there something wrong, Stanley?
STAN: Are you kidding? I can't do this!
PRINZ: Butterflies in your stomach?
STAN: Butterflies? More like bulldogs!
PRINZ: ... Not sure I get the analogy, but I see where you're coming from. It's always scary the first time, Stanley, but you need to keep your head high. No matter how frightened you are, keep a stiff upper lip and keep focused.
STAN: I should have never taken the case.
PRINZ: My boy... would you rather be doing paperwork?
STAN: ... Good point.
{Cut: court.}
{Trial}
JUDGE: Court is now in session. Is the defense ready?
STAN: Y-yes, Your Honor.
JUDGE: ... And who are you?
STAN: Stan, A-ace Attorney!
PRINZ: He's new to all of this, sir... you must excuse him.
JUDGE: That's perfectly fine, Mr. Prinz. ... I expected your daughter to be here today.
PRINZ: I can't let her have all the cases, if you must know.
JUDGE: That's alright. Now, is the prosecution-
LAW: I've been ready for a long time, Your Honor. ... If we could cut down on the chatter, then this would go much quicker.
JUDGE: Very well, Mr. Law. Your opening statements?
LAW: Hmph! What is there to say? The defendant is guilty.
JUDGE: R-really, now?
STAN: (Ugh... the confident type. I want to knock him down a peg already.)
PRINZ: You'll get your chance.
LAW: Not only is the evidence in the prosecution's favor overwhelming, the motive is clear. Ms. Hazel Knotts wanted to kill her brother and usurp the confectionery business. That is rather convincing, no?
PRINZ: No. It isn't.
STAN: '(He took the words right out of my mouth!)
LAW: Ha... Mr. Prinz. How's my little brother doing?
PRINZ: He's doing just fine.
STAN: (Damien... I've seen him around the office once or twice. Nice enough guy.)
LAW: But that's beside the point. The prosecution is here to find the defendant guilty... and you, Mr. Judge, are here to hand down the verdict. Is that clear?
JUDGE: Now, I don't take that kind of guff from a prosecutor, Mr. Law-
LAW: Then let's get going already!
JUDGE: ... Very well. Would the prosecution care to call-
LAW: A witness? Most certainly. The prosecution calls a Detective Jon to the stand.
{Jon takes the stand.}
LAW: Name and occupation.
JON: Detective Jon.
LAW: Good. Testify about the crime scene.
JON: Wow, we're not beating around the bush today, are we?
LAW: TESTIFY!
STAN: (Oof... Jon's not getting a very big break, is he?)
JON: The victim, Wallace Knotts, was found in his own candy shop, dead. The autopsy confirmed the cause of death--poisoned. The poison was found in an opened box of chocolates found at the crime scene. The victim died at about 10:55 AM, according to a witness.
LAW: That's quite enough, Detective. I think we've got quite enough information, don't we, "Ace Attorney"?
STAN: S-sure.
JUDGE: Do you feel the need to cross-examine the detective, Mr. Stan?
STAN: Uhh... I don't lean that way, Your Honor.
PRINZ: Stanley... cross-examination is when you pick apart the witness' testimony and find the little lie in there.
STAN: L-l-lie?! I though they took an oath!
PRINZ: True, but some people just forget. Like this detective.
JON: H-hey!
PRINZ: Cross-examine him, Stanley.
STAN: Alright, then. WITNESS!
JON: Ahh! Wh-what?
STAN: Please, repeat the testimony.
JON: O-okay. The victim, Wallace Knotts, was found in his own candy shop, dead. The autopsy confirmed the cause of death--poisoned.
STAN: HOLD IT! How was Mr. Knotts poisoned?
JON: Potassium cyanide poisoning--I thought we went over this!
STAN: True, but the court needs to know, right?
LAW: Such details are trifling. Continue the testimony, Detective.
JON: The poison was found in an opened box of chocolates found at the crime scene.
STAN: HOLD IT! ... What kind?
JON: ... Excuse me?
STAN: What kind of chocolates were they?
LAW: Objection, Your Honor! This is irrelevant to the case.
STAN: N-no it isn't! I request the Detective elaborate on the chocolates!
JON: Whatever floats your boat... they were chocolate truffles. Real nice ones, too.
STAN: Very good. The defense has the information he needs, Your Honor.
JUDGE: ... Very well.
JON: So, where was I? The victim died at about 10:55 AM, according to a witness.
STAN: HOLD IT! A witness, you say?
LAW: OBJECTION! We were getting to that, "Ace Attorney".
JUDGE: It looks like there's no more information in the detective's testimony.
LAW: Agreed. The prosecution would like to call a witness to the stand, if he may.
JUDGE: Go ahead.
LAW: The prosecution calls Harold Carey to the stand.
{A skinny, bony man takes the stand. He is dressed in a deliveryman's uniform.}
LAW: Name and occupation.
{Trial}
CAREY: Harold Carey, deliveryman for Hermie's Delivery Services!
LAW: Am I correct in presuming you were the deliveryman who sent the poisoned chocolates to the victim's candy shop?
CAREY: ... Are you accusing me of murder, Prosecutor?!
LAW: Hardly.
STAN: So why is he here, then?
LAW: To testify about who ordered the package to be delivered.
STAN: Oh, really? And who would that be?
LAW: You really must give the prosecution time to make his statement, "Ace Attorney". The witness will testify about how Hazel Knotts gave him the package to be delivered!
STAN: ... O-oh. R-right.
LAW: Testify!
CAREY: You've got it!
CAREY: I received an order to deliver a package to Wallace Knott's candy shop! I went to the address and it was Mr. Knotts' sister who gave me the order! So I took the package and delivered it to Mr. Knotts. That's all that happened, sir.
LAW: Very good. "Ace Attorney"? Do you have anything to say?
STAN: I say... the witness is lying!
LAW: Really? Do you have anything to back up these baseless claims?
STAN: ... No.
LAW: And you still insist on cross-examining him?
STAN: ... Yes! I do!
PRINZ: Atta' boy, Stanley.
CAREY: I received an order to deliver a package to Wallace Knott's candy shop! I went to the address and it was Mr. Knotts' sister who gave me the order!
STAN: HOLD IT! And what was the order?
CAREY: Well, I've got the docket right here, if you want!
STAN: I'll take it. (Hm... interesting. ... W-wait. There's something wrong here!)
PRINZ: There we are... a contradiction!
STAN: OBJECTION! Mr. Carey!
CAREY: Hm?
STAN: You see this docket? You gave it to me, correct?
CAREY: Yes, I did.
STAN: There's a small problem. Rather, a huge one!
CAREY: What?
STAN: If you look here, it says that Ms. Knotts ordered you to deliver a package of chocolate fudge to Mr. Knotts' store. If that is the case... why are the chocolates at the crime scene chocolate truffles?
CAREY: O-oh! I don't kn-know...
LAW: OBJECTION! And how are we to know these aren't fudge truffles?
STAN: And how are we to know the flavor? They're poisoned, so we can't rightly try them, can we?
LAW: ... Touche, "Ace Attorney".
STAN: Therefore, I find the witness' testimony faulty. I call for new testimony, Your Honor!
JUDGE: Agreed. Prosecutor?
LAW: ... Hmph! Very well.
STAN: Mr. Carey, I'd like you to testify a little more about the delivery.
CAREY: Sure thing.
CAREY: I couldn't see the package--it was in a brown box, so I didn't know the contents, right? Anyhow, I delivered the package at about 10:30. I left right away, so I didn't see the murder... sorry.
STAN: (There's a hole in your story, dear Harold, dear Harold...) I would like to cross-examine the witness once more.
LAW: Fine. Be that way.
STAN: Repeat the testimony.
CAREY: I couldn't see the package--it was in a brown box, so I didn't know the contents, right? Anyhow, I delivered the package at about 10:30.
STAN: OBJECTION! You say... 10:30? Is that right?
CAREY: Yup! I carry a watch with an atomic clock in it!
STAN: Very good... so the time's not off. Now, tell me... when did Wallace Knotts die?
CAREY: How should I know, sir?
STAN: I'll tell you when.
{Cornered}
STAN: Nearly half an hour later!
LAW: Wh-WHAT?! How... h-how did I overlook that?
CAREY: Oh, boy...
STAN: Witness!
CAREY: Y-yes?
STAN: I'm definitely not accusing you of murder. In fact... you've been a big help. Thank you, Mr. Carey.
CAREY: Well, sh-shucks...
LAW: ... Well, well! It looks like you've discredited the witness. Well done, "Ace Attorney".
STAN: Thanks, Prosecutor Law.
LAW: But riddle me this! ... If the delivery boy didn't do it, who did?
STAN: That's easy. The only other person who could have killed Mr. Knotts is his fiancee... Beatrice Sweete.
LAW: ... How did you know about her?
STAN: A little investigative work earlier helped me out.
LAW: R-really, now.
STAN: Would you mind calling her to the stand, Mr. Law?
LAW: ... N-not at all.
{Ms. Sweete takes the stand.}
{Trial}
SWEETE: Hello, darling...
LAW: And hello to you, too, Ms. Sweete.
SWEETE: Before we start... I'd like to say something. I would never ever kill anybody I love... and this "Ace Attorney" is accusing me?
STAN: (Again with the "Ace Attorney"?) Indeed, Ms. Sweete. I'm afraid that you're the only one who could have done it, like it or not.
SWEETE: ... Very well then.
LAW: Ms. Sweete, please testify as to what you saw. I've been led to believe you witnessed Mr. Knotts' death...
SWEETE: I did, yes. Allow me to start from the beginning...
SWEETE: I was taking a visit to my fiancee's candy store--just stopping by to get some truffles. It was then that a skinny, pale man stopped by, touting a package for my husband-to-be. He opened it and found some chocolate inside... he ate it, of course. Then, he... he dropped dead! I had to call 911, of course!
JUDGE: ... Mr. Stan?
STAN: I believe the witness is lying.
LAW: Under oath?
STAN: Like I said... Ms. Sweete is the only one who could have done it.
LAW: Hmph. Go ahead, "Ace Attorney".
STAN: Repeat from the beginning.
SWEETE: I was taking a visit to my fiancee's candy store--just stopping by to get some truffles. It was then that a skinny, pale man stopped by, touting a package for my husband-to-be. He opened it and found some chocolate inside... he ate it, of course.
STAN: OBJECTION! ... Ms. Sweete, I know you know this already.
SWEETE: Know what?
STAN: I know you know...
STAN: ... That almost half an hour passed between the delivery and the time of death!
SWEETE: Ohhh! ... Really?
STAN: Don't play dumb, Ms. Sweete.
JUDGE: Agreed.
LAW: ...
STAN: Mind explaining this, Ms. Sweete? Can you explain this, Ms. Sweete?
SWEETE: I find it hard to, sir... b-but that's what I saw!
STAN: Well, Ms. Sweete, there's only one explanation as to how the package was "delivered" only seconds before the murder.
LAW: ... A-and that is?
STAN: Ms. Sweete delivered the package.
LAW: GHK! W-well! How can you prove that?
STAN: Ms. Sweete. Testify about the delivery. Yours.
SWEETE: Very well.
SWEETE: It's true... I delivered him a box of chocolate. In fact... He had two packages that day. One of them was mine--but I didn't poison him! I had absolutely no reason to!
JUDGE: ... Mr. Stan.
STAN: Yes, Your Honor? (I have a bad feeling about this.)
JUDGE: Keep in mind you're accusing a witness of murder. If you're wrong... you'll have to pay a penalty. A big one.
LAW: That's right. Watch your step, "Ace Attorney".
STAN: ... V-very well.
PRINZ: Stan... don't let them get the best of you.
STAN: I'l t-try. Witness...
SWEETE: Yes?
STAN: Repeat your testimony. From the beginning.
SWEETE: It's true... I delivered him a box of chocolate. In fact... He had two packages that day.
STAN: ... OBJECTION!
LAW: Hm! What is it this time, "Ace Attorney"?
STAN: Don't act like you've won just yet, Prosecutor. I've got a little gripe with Ms. Sweete's testimony.
LAW: ... Wh-what? Really?
STAN: Correct. Ms. Sweete?
SWEETE: ...
STAN: You say there were two packages delivered?
SWEETE: C-correct.
STAN: And yet, you only came in seconds before the murder.
SWEETE: ... Th-that's right.
STAN: Well, Ms. Sweete? Out with it!
SWEETE: W-w-w-with what?
{Cornered}
STAN: Tell me how you knew about the first delivery!
SWEETE: GAAAH!
LAW: O-objection! I find this... objectionable!
STAN: You're all talk, Prosecutor.
LAW: R-really, then? If I'm all talk, what about you? Tell me what's going on here!
STAN: It's simple. Ms. Sweete only knew about the delivery because she was there before the murder!
LAW: Th-then... you mean to say?
STAN: What do you think that gap in time was about? It's obvious that Ms. Sweete was given enough time to switch the two boxes of chocolate!
LAW: That's preposterous! Why would she have any reason to kill her fiancee?
STAN: Are you kidding? She had every reason to!
LAW: Like how?!
STAN: I'll tell you! Ms. Sweete knew that Mr. Knotts had a considerable amount of money coming in from the candy shop--and by killing him, she could take the shop and the money that came with it!
LAW: Then you mean-
STAN: That's right! Ms. Sweete is as bitter as the poison she gave to her husband!
LAW: ...
SWEETE: ...
JUDGE: ...
STAN: ...
LAW: ... "Ace Attorney". What a fitting name.
{Trial}
JUDGE: Ms. Sweete! Is this... is this true?
SWEETE: ... Do you want to know the truth?
JUDGE: That's why we're here...
SWEETE: I never loved him. I was using him. Wallace. He was only a pawn in the big scheme I had... to take the shop. I knew how famous he was... and so did his sister. She was getting very suspicious of me... so I did him in. And you know why? To both get the money and rid myself of that woman. Are you happy now? Do you have the answers you want?
STAN: That's all I wanted to know, Ms. Sweete.
SWEETE: ... Good.
LAW: Your Honor... I expect a verdict.
JUDGE: Very well, then. This court find the defendant, Ms. Hazel Knotts... not guilty.
STAN: (I... I did it! I won!)
PRINZ: You certainly did.
JUDGE: Ms. Sweete will be tried in high court for premeditated murder. For now... court is adjourned.
{Cut: the defense lobby.}
STAN: Ohh... I feel sick.
PRINZ: What for? You've won the case. You've brought justice to the court... you should be proud!
STAN: I'm still kinda shaky, is all... that prosecutor looked really angry.
PRINZ: Yes... Marshall Law is very dedicated. He focuses on one thing--a perfect record. This is why he's a horrible prosecutor.
STAN: D-don't say that about people, Mr. Prinz!
PRINZ: But it's true. When you let perfection get in the way of truth, you don't deserve to prosecute. That's how it goes...
STAN: ... You're right. He was pretty terrible.
{Hazel walks in.}
HAZEL: I knew it! I knew it all along! You're the best, Ace Attorney!
STAN: (Somehow, when she says it, it feels more sincere.) Thanks, Ms. Kn... I mean, Hazel!
HAZEL: I miss Wally... but it'll be alright. At least I'm not in jail!
STAN: Yeah... I guess you can thank me for that.
{Jon walks in.}
JON: Hey! You did really good, Stan!
STAN: Th-thanks, Detective. You know, you were a big help to me.
JON: Heh, I know. ... Listen, you and I... we should work together again sometime. It'd be fun!
STAN: It would. ... If that's alright with you, Mr. Prinz.
PRINZ: That's absolutely fine, Stanley. I think you deserve to work more often.
JON: Heh, hey, yeah! That's great! How's about dinner?
STAN: Sounds good! Where?
JON: Oh, some French restaurant--just opened a while ago. Of course, you're paying, right?
STAN: ... Huh?
PRINZ: He's right. I think you owe us one, right, Stanley?
STAN: Huh? Huh?
HAZEL: And afterwards, we can get some chocolate--at my new store, of course!
STAN: Huh? Huh? Huh?
PRINZ: Why, what's wrong, Stanley?
JON: Yeah... what's up?
STAN: If I may have a word in on this conversation...
PRINZ: Hm?
HAZEL: Yeah?
JON: I'm all ears, pal!
STAN: OBJECTION!
{Fade to black.}
