Records Of Bell/Records/20

{open to Bell at a desk}

IM A BELL: Dammit. Can't think of anything for an episode. ...Isn't it strange that this is real life, and being filmed, yet I act like it's scripted? {glances at camera} Ah, well. i'll just let the fans write their own.

{cue poor rendition of the theme song. cut to a badly made set that looks like Bling's living room}

IM A BELL: I AM SO SEXY!!!

{Malleo walks in}

MALLEO: FIRE FLOWER.

IM A BELL: Oh gosh its MALLEO! I LOVE YOU MALLEO!

TRACY: Dad, I hate your addiction to Malleo! Get over it! Just pay attention to WEEGEE!!!!

{Weegee walks in}

TRACY: Oh gosh its WEEGEE! I LOVE YOU WEEGEE!

IM A BELL: Back at ya!

{The scene freezes. The real Bell rises from the bottom of the screen}

IM A BELL: Ah, hell. I'm helping with this. {sinks offscreen}

{the scene unfreezes. Kirby, but with a pixelated face, rides in on a warp start painted to look like he american flag}

KIRBY: Hi-

IM A BELL: I REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE AMERICAN, 4KIDSIAN NAME OF HOSHI NO KIRBY! {pulls a bat from hammerspace, knocks Kirby through the window}

KIRBY: In Americaaaaaaaa...

TRACY: Just go kick Bling or something, foo.

IM A BELL: Okay! {kicks Bling. Sneezes. Kicks Bling again.} 2 BECAUSE YOU MADE ME SNEEZE!

{Sarah comes in and kills Weegee and Malleo.}

SARAH: NAG NAG NAG

TRACY: INNUENDO INNUENDO INNUENDO

IM A BELL: HENTAI HENTAI HENTAI

MATURE BLING: ME MYSELF AND I

CHAOS: DEATH DEATH DEATH

SARAH: INEXPLICABLE PERSONALITY CHANGE SEX SEX {lunges at Bell}

IM A BELL: EVEN DIRTIER INNUENDO INNUENDO INNUENDO

SARAH: WE HAVE SEX DId YOU KNOW THAT

IM A BELL: ANIME TRANSFORMATION

{Bell turns into a maniacal robot with extremely mismatched parts.}

PETER PAN: HI

IM A BELL: !BIDEO GAMES IDORT!

DON SKULL: Wha... what is this? Bell, what's going on?

IM A BELL: ANIME

DON SKULL: Bell? What's wrong with you?

TRACY: BRITISH

DON SKULL: ... Oh, God. Bell's letting the fans write an episode.

{Cut: Bell's room, real life. Don Skull steps in.}

DON SKULL: Bell? What the hell have you done?

IM A BELL: CRAP-BOT, TRANSFORM!

{Bell transforms into a jukebox, that constantly plays The Alhpabet}

'SARAH: I DROPPED A NON-IMPORTANT FAN CHARACTER NUKE. ANYBODY WHO HASN'T BEEN ON THE SHOW HAS BEEN KILLED.

{cut back to the real RoB world}

IM A BELL: One, how the hell did you get Sarah to let you in? And two, I have a case of life block, which makes you not be able to do anything original and/or interesting. Unfortunately, this happened the same day I had a company tour, which is confusing, since this is real life. So, I let the fans create this episode.

CHAOS: Uh... Bad idea much?

DON SKULL: Oh, hell! The Sues are leaking into our world! NO~

{Cut back to the carppy one}

IM A BELL: OH HONE-AY LESS GO 3 JAPIN AND HAS A BABY AND TELL NUBODEE ABOWT IT

SARAH: I'M SEEING SOMEONE WHO RIDES A MOTORCYCLE

IM A BELL: OMG WHAT!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!1!??1!/!1!?1!!

SARAH: YEAH RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW

DOCTOR OCTAPUS: Greetings, I am Doctor Octapus. You may remember me from Spiderman 2, in which I kidnapped Mary Jane to lure Spierman into my lair, where I proceeded to beat the living snot out of him. I'm commonly used for Cameos on this show. That's all I have to say for now. Ta-ta!

GILLIGAN: {Crashes through ceiling} .....WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?

{cut back}

IM A BELL: ...Okay, now you raise even more questions! I mean, only Sarah and I are supposed to be in this house! This house likely can't even be broadcast on daytime television! I'm surprised the camera crew is able to not show what's in this room alone!