Wiki City Detective Agency/comm

You are in the Commissioner's Office. Commissioner Skullbuggy is sitting at his desk, paging through the newspaper. His mind seems to be elsewhere at the moment.

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{Commissioner SkullB is reading the paper. He laughs every so often.}

COMMISSIONER SKULLB: Hah. Silly Garfield.

{Jerry walks into the room.}

JERRY: Evening, Skully.

COMMISSIONER SKULLB: Oh, come on. I told you to call me Commissioner Skullbuggy!

JERRY: Dude. We live in the same house.

COMMISSIONER SKULLB: Yeah, whatever. I heard some rookies are coming to the agency. What do you think?

JERRY: Looks like I'll be polishing some greenhorns, if you catch my drift!

COMMISSIONER SKULLB: ... Wow that was a terrible metaphor.

{Myself barges in}

MYSELF: Hello Skullbuggy, I was just here to ask if I could become a detective.

COMMISSIONER SKULLB: Does she fit the qualifications, Jerry?

JERRY: Dude, there are no qualifications. Besides, you know, passing college.

COMMISSIONER SKULLB: Alright! Welcome to the force, rookie!

{SkullB hands Myself a badge.}

COMMISSIONER SKULLB: Wear it proudly.

MYSELF: And how many guns am I allowed?

COMMISSIONER SKULLB: Funny thing is, I don't think we have a limit. You can have as many as you want!

{Myself starts gazing into space in awe, then faints. Suddenly, the phone rings. Jerry picks it up.}

JERRY: Hello, WCDA, Jerry Cohen speaking.

{Pause.}

JERRY: Sweet decapitated head of John the Baptist in a porkpie hat stuffed in a rhinestone bowling ball bag! We've got a case! Wake up, Myself!

MYSELF: {mumbling} Johnny Applesauce,Azula Iroh of the Air nation {wakes up} Whoa, how long I been out?

JERRY: ... Couple seconds. Anyhow, here's the case.

CASE ONE: THE ROBBERY

JERRY: Apparently, the Wiki City Bank was robbed of several thousand dollars. We've gotta tail the guy who did it. We should go to the police to get an idea of what to do. What say you, Myself?

MYSELF: Sure. {as they exit} I swear, if it's Me then I am going to hurt him so bad.

{Stick enters.}

STICK: Greetings...how is a car the commissioner of a detective agency?

COMMISSIONER SKULLB: How can a stickfigure walk around town without breaking in the wind?

STICK: Good point. Anyway, I'm here to join this here agency. Stick Pino's my name. {shows SkullB his ID}

ZOO977: {walks in, dazed} Hi, people. Say hello to aaron! {takes the sloth evil fuzzle out of his backpack}

ARRON: Beezlebub waits to feast on your souls!

ZOO977: {snaps out of it} Where am I?

ARRON: Somewhere that makes hell look like eden.

ZOO977: Is that good?

COMMISSIONER SKULLB: Hi, Aaron. Hi, Mr. Pino. You're both detectives!

ZOO977: My names zoo977, sir.

ARRON: You'll play cribbage in hell for that!

ZOO977: Isn't he kind?

STICK: So what's our first case, then?

COMMISSIONER SKULLB: Head to the bank.

STICK: Erm...no info? {long silence} ...At all?

COMMISSIONER SKULLB: Officer Cohen will give you the specs. Just head out.

STICK: Right. {walks out}