The SkullB Show/20

Overview

Episode 20: Beach Blanket Matrimony

The SkullB Show gang go on another vacation!

CAST: Casey, Jerry, SkullB, Mike, a baker, Father Kilpatrick

PLACES: the Living Room, a dock, a cabin, a casino, a bar, a bridal shop, Decentville Bakery, Decentville Catholic Church

PAGE TITLE: The SkullB Show!

Transcript

{Open: the Living Room. Casey and Jerry are sitting on the couch.}

CASEY: Hey, Jerry?

JERRY: What is it?

CASEY: {in a low voice} You know, it's been a while since... well, you know.

JERRY: Uh-oh. You're using your sexy voice. This means...

CASEY: Vacation!

JERRY: Ugh.

CASEY: Quiet! That vacation back in season two meant nothing! We need to have a tropical vacation! Something... romantic.

{SkullB runs into the room.}

SKULLB: I heard vacation. I'm coming.

JERRY and CASEY: Aw, damn.

CASEY: Oh! We're really a couple, aren't we?

{Cue theme song.}

{Cut: a dock. Jerry, Casey and SkullB are there. All but SkullB are in summer wear.}

JERRY: So where are we going, {sarcastically} my sweet?

CASEY: We're going to Miami Beach!

SKULLB: Miami Beach! Just like in Surfside 6!

{Pause.}

SKULLB: {in a high voice} Who lives there?

CASEY: I thought a vacation would help rekindle our relationship, Jerry!

JERRY: Joy of joys. You know I really don't want to leave the house, Casey.

SKULLB: Did anyone else notice that this is the first cold opening to actually relate to the episode?

{Pause.}

SKULLB: What? I've gotta live up to the motto.

{A loud horn blows.}

CASEY: Ooh! There's the boat!

{The three walk onto a ramp offscreen.}

{Cut: a cabin. SkullB and the others are there unpacking.}

JERRY: Wow. Luxurious!

CASEY: I know! I saved up for years for this trip!

SKULLB: All these beds are waterbeds! Isn't it ironic? Isn't- isn't it?

JERRY: Hey, baby? I'm off to the casino to go blow half the money in my wallet. The other half's going to ten-dollar bottles of whiskey the size of a baby's hand. See ya.

{Jerry walks off.}

CASEY: Jerry?

{Casey falls down onto her bed and starts to cry.}

SKULLB: Oh, Casey... What's wrong?

CASEY: Jerry... he never wants to spend time with me!

SKULLB: Oh, there there, Casey. Come on, cry on my shoulder.

{Casey leans over onto SkullB's shoulder and cries some more.}

SKULLB: Yeah... that's good. That's nice. Now, honey, how can I help you?

CASEY: I just want... I just want him to love me more!

SKULLB: Oh, I can do that. Don't you worry.

{Cut: the boat's casino. Jerry is at the slots, holding a cup of beer.}

JERRY: Oh, I am raking it in!

{SkullB walks over.}

SKULLB: Hey, Jerry. How's my deadbeat pal?

JERRY: Half-buzzed and playing the slots. The alcohol pays for itself!

SKULLB: Damnit man, you need to be with your girlfriend!

JERRY: Hey, hey, HEY! I can be a good boyfriend! Just... just let me finish playing.

SKULLB: Jerry, that's not good enough. You need to do things as a couple. Casey's a wreck right now!

JERRY: Ugh, fine. Where is she?

SKULLB: She's at the bar.

{Cut: the casino's bar. Casey is at the bar, sitting there. The bartender walks over.}

BARTENDER: Hey, sweetie! What's up?

CASEY: Not much, I just--hey, you seem... familiar.

BARTENDER: Nah, I'm just a bartender.

CASEY: You're Mike the janitor! I remember you!

MIKE: Casey? Wow, it's been a while! I thought your apartment blew up!

CASEY: Nah, we moved out. So how's life been treating you?

MIKE: It's been good. I've moved out, got this job on the boat, you know. I settled down, too. Got a wife.

CASEY: Really? That's great! Good on you!

MIKE: Yeah, yeah. So, why're you so upset?

CASEY: My boyfriend's being a jerk. He won't pay attention to me, not even on vacation! This was supposed to help our relationship!

MIKE: Ah, don't worry. He'll make it up to you, I'm sure.

CASEY: I hope you're right.

{Jerry and SkullB walk over.}

CASEY: Oh, hey. It's you.

JERRY: Hey, baby.

CASEY: I thought you were doing your own thing.

SKULLB: Nah, he wants to make it up to you!

JERRY: Yeah, I do! {to Mike} Hey, bartender! Get us some drinks!

MIKE: What'll you have?

JERRY: I'll have a Fuzzy Navel, and get Casey the girliest drink in the house!

MIKE: Two Fuzzy Navels, coming up!

SKULLB: {to Jerry} I know damn well you stole that joke from Futurama. I know.

{Cut: the cabin. Jerry and Casey are there by themselves.}

CASEY: How'd you get SkullB to get lost?

JERRY: I told him to go to the arcade.

{Cut: the arcade. SkullB is playing a video game.}

SKULLB: Yaaay! Yaaay! Ms. Pacman! Yaaay!

{Cut: the cabin.}

JERRY: So yeah. I just wanted to take this time to apologize to you about being such a jackass.

CASEY: Oh, Jerry. I don't know if I can forgive you.

JERRY: Really... oh. I guess I'm not a good boyfriend at all.

{Jerry starts to leave.}

CASEY: Jerry, where are you going?

JERRY: I'm a bad boyfriend, so I didn't think you'd miss me.

CASEY: Jerry... you must be serious.

JERRY: Yep. I am. Bye, Casey.

CASEY: Wait! Jerry, stop!

{Jerry turns around.}

CASEY: Jerry... I know you. You'd never leave me.

JERRY: Casey, I...

{Casey reaches into her bag and grabs a small black box.}

CASEY: Jerry, I want you to have this.

{Casey opens the box to show a ring.}

JERRY: Casey, I--

CASEY: Will you... marry me?

JERRY: Casey... I will.

CASEY: Oh, Jerry!

{The two hug. SkullB walks in.}

SKULLB: Hey, guys! What did I miss?

CASEY: SkullB... we're getting married!

SKULLB: You're what?!

{Cut: the Living Room.}

SKULLB: I can't believe it! You two are getting married?!

CASEY: Yeah, we are! It's amazing!

JERRY: I just realized how much I love her.

SKULLB: Yech. It's getting cheesy in here.

CASEY: The wedding's tomorrow, so I hope you'll make it!

JERRY: In fact, Skully, I want you to be my best man!

SKULLB: Uh, sure? I guess? I mean, this is all so confusing, I mean, my best friend is getting married, and--

CASEY: Oh, this is the greatest thing to ever happen to me!

JERRY: Oh, me too.

SKULLB: I'll only do it if you play Goody Two Shoes by Adam Ant at the procession.

{Cut: a bridal shop. Casey and Fran are there, looking for wedding dresses.}

CASEY: Now, I don't want anything white. I want a red dress!

FRAN: Wh- why?

CASEY: It symbolizes good luck in China!

FRAN: But... you're not Chinese.

CASEY: I'm Irish. Look, it's complicated, let's save it for another episode. So yeah, red dress.

{Cut: a bakery. SkullB and Jerry are there.}

SKULLB: Hey, baker, can we have a wedding cake?

BAKER: Ooh! Who's the groom?

JERRY: Me!

BAKER: So, what names should I put on it?

JERRY: Put the words, "Jerry and Casey: Together Forever"!

SKULLB: What is this, a cheesecake?

{Pause.}

SKULLB: Do you- do you get it? Cheesecake?

{Pause.}

SKULLB: I don't have to impress you.

{Cut: a church, the day of the wedding. Jerry and Casey, both in full attire, are at the podium.}

FATHER KILPATRICK: Do you, Jeremy Cohen, take Casey Harris as your bride?

JERRY: I do!

FATHER KILPATRICK: And do you, Casey Harris, take Jeremy-

CASEY: I do! I do!

FATHER KILPATRICK: Good. Any and all objections are to be voiced at this time. Anybody?

{Pause.}

FATHER KILPATRICK: Odd, I was expecting somebody to... well, okay. You may now kiss the bride.

{The two kiss. Everybody cheers.}

{Cut: the reception. This song is playing as people dance. Jerry, Casey and SkullB are at their own table.}

JERRY: Man, that was amazing!

CASEY: We're finally husband and wife!

SKULLB: Yeah, yeah. So now you're Casey Cohen, right?

CASEY: Yep! Isn't that great?

SKULLB: Yeah, yeah. Any regrets?

JERRY: Absolutely none!

SKULLB: Hah, you'll eat those words soon.

JERRY: I'll... what?

SKULLB: Oh, nothing. Happy wedding, y'all!

{The two kiss again. Pan over to show the owl watching.}

OWL: Oh, I'm so happy for those two! Oh, I wish I was getting married. That would be amazing!

SKULLB: Would you just shut up already?

{Cue credits.}