The SkullB Show/29

Overview

Episode 29: Shaken, not Stirred, Part Two

The conclusion to the excitement of the last time! Will Agent J and S find out Princess Pussycat's devilish scheme? Will Angela Fawls seduct Agent J? Tune in now!

CAST: Angela Fawls (Casey), Agent J (Jerry), S (SkullB), Princess Pussycat (Cassie), others

PLACES: BSoC, a harbor, a private jet, Princess Pussycat's Tiger Palace, a throne room, a corridor, a gas chamber, Z's office

PAGE TITLE: The SkullB Show!

Transcript

{Open: the Black Screen of Continuity.}

ANNOUNCER: Last time, on the SkullB Show...

{Cut: the harbor. Angela Fawls is talking into a wrist communicator.}

ANGELA: Princess? This is the Angel. Target has been identified as Agent J of MI7. Next course of action? ... Of course. Take care.

{Angela closes the wrist communicator. She giggles to herself evilly. Fade to black.}

ANNOUNCER: And now, the conclusion.

{Fade in to a jet. Agent J and S are in the back, which is very luxurious.}

AGENT J: I've gotta say, MI7 knows their luxury liners.

S: Plus we're the only ones on! Isn't that awesome?

AGENT J: Yeah, but they don't show any good in-flight movies. Pity, I thought for a secret spy agency they could get some decent movies.

{A dinging sound is heard.}

PILOT: Now landing in Bangladesh.

AGENT J: Good! I was beginning to think we'd never get there.

{Cut: a palace. It is very luxuriously decorated, with tiger murals adorning the walls. Agent J and S are walking along the hallways.}

AGENT J: You know, Princess P is really taking the tiger gimmick to the fullest.

S: What? I would too if I were a theme villain.

{Suddenly, a group of guards in orange, black-striped uniforms stop the two.}

GUARD ONE: And who might you be?

{Agent J hands the guard the invitation.}

GUARD ONE: ... Alright, then. Carry on.

{The guard growls at the two as they pass.}

S: Something tells me these guys should be neutered.

{The two walk into a throne room, where Princess Pussycat is sitting on the said throne. Surrounding her are many tigers.}

AGENT J: ... Wow.

PRINCESS: Ah, you're here, Hans. Or is that your real name?

AGENT J: You mean... you know?

PRINCESS: Yep!

AGENT J: But... how?

PRINCESS: You just told me!

S: Heh. You got dissed.

AGENT J: Cough it up, Princess P. How did you know I'm not Hans Olbrecht?

PRINCESS: I have my sources. Don't I, Ms. Fawls?

{Angela emerges from behind the throne. She is now in tiger-print spandex.}

AGENT J: Angie?

ANGELA: That's right! You didn't really think I was just flirting?

AGENT J: Yeah, something was suspicious. Not just because I didn't have my wallet.

ANGELA: And that is how we found your identity, Agent J! And now that we know who you are, we can dispose of you before you uncover our secret plan!

AGENT J: Secret plan...!

ANGELA: ... Oops.

PRINCESS: You idiot! Why'd you say that?

ANGELA: Hey, I'm not the best with secrets.

PRINCESS: Ugh, whatever. Ms. Fawls, attack him!

{Angela nods and bares claws hidden in her gloves. She runs at Agent J, slashing. Agent J ducks and rolls under her legs. He stands up behind her and kicks her into a nearby pillar.}

ANGELA: Ahh! You can't hit me, I'm a girl!

AGENT J: Hey, you're evil. I can't just let you go, honey.

{Agent J runs at Angela and punches her again, this time in the stomach. Angela keels over in pain, coughing and gasping for air.}

S: Ooh! You knocked the wind outta her!

ANGELA: ... You just asked for it! Tigers, attack!

{Some tigers run toward Agent J. He starts punching and kicking them off. Meanwhile, Angela escapes through the door.}

PRINCESS: Fawls! You chicken!

{Agent J knocks out the last tiger.}

AGENT J: And now to dethrone the pri-

{Pan over to show the throne unoccupied. Pan again to show Princess Pussycat running away.}

S: Hypocrite.

AGENT J: Come on, S! We've gotta catch up!

S: No prob! Just hop in!

{Agent J jumps into S and starts driving. He starts following Princess Pussycat, who is driving a tiger-striped motorcycle.}

PRINCESS: It's no use, Agent J! You're never going to stop me!

AGENT J: Yeah, right! I've got a tracker on you!

PRINCESS: A what?

{Zoom in to show a beeping red beacon on Princess Pussycat's neck.}

PRINCESS: Oh, come on!

AGENT J: That's right! Nothing's going to stop me from f-

{Suddenly, the floor drops out from under S and Agent J and they fall down a chute. Princess Pussycat laughs as she stops.}

{Cut: a small room. S and Agent J are there, trapped.}

S: Ah, great. Now we're trapped.

AGENT J: Hey, it could be worse!

{The lights turn on. Pan over to show a large white tiger in the room. Princess Pussycat walks into the room.}

AGENT J: You!

PRINCESS: Heh! Yep! Meet Mittens, my prized tiger! He's going to be slaughtering you, and I'll be watching through the one-way mirror!

AGENT J: Really?

PRINCESS: Yep. Mittens, attack!

{The white tiger jumps at Agent J and pins him to the ground. The snarling beast stares Agent J directly in the eye. However, Agent J stares back, firmly and intimidatingly. The white tiger backs down and submits.}

PRINCESS: What the- I di- But I- unbelievable! Mittens, what's wrong with you?

AGENT J: Intimidation. I know that being stern with an animal proves dominance.

PRINCESS: ... There's no way you knew that!

AGENT J: You're right, I just wanted to scare it off.

PRINCESS: ... Well! Then I'll just take Mittens with me and keep you in here. Come, Mittens!

{Princess Pussycat opens the door and takes Mittens with her. She quickly shuts the door.}

PRINCESS: And now, a deadly neurotoxin will be pumped into the room. We just need to ready the canisters.

{Princess Pussycat leaves the scene.}

S: Oh, dang!

AGENT J: Neurotoxin...? This doesn't seem good. ... Wait! The pen!

{Agent J takes out the explosive pen from before. He dispenses plastic explosives on the door and detonates it from a distance. The door is opened and the two run out.}

AGENT J: Thanks, S.

S: No prob, Agent J!

{Suddenly, guards appear.}

GUARD: Halt!

AGENT J: Not a chance!

{Agent J takes out a gun and shoots the guards.}

S: You had a gun the whole time?

AGENT J: Funny thing is, I only remembered it now.

S: I hate you some times.

AGENT J: Likewise.

{The two keep running down the hall. Eventually, they reach Princess Pussycat's tiger sanctuary, in which are hundreds of tigers with Princess Pussycat at a throne.}

AGENT J: Give it up, Princess P! I've got a gun and I'm not afraid to use it!

PRINCESS: ... Fine.

AGENT J: Oh, really? Cool.

PRINCESS: Let me explain myself, first.

{Flashback: a circus. A younger Princess Pussycat is training tigers.}

PRINCESS: {v.o.} When I was younger, I trained tigers in the circus. I was one with them, you could say. However, one day the tigers attacked the fellow circus workers. I was fired for being inattentent and my tigers were killed. It was a sad day for me. That day, I swore to get my revenge. It wasn't the tigers' faults that those damned clowns kept teasing them!

{Cut: Princess Pussycat ordering tigers to attack people.}

PRINCESS: {v.o.} From then on, I strived to create the perfect army of evil tigers, made to kill. However, you showed up. That's the one thing I didn't think about.

{Cut back to present-day. Princess Pussycat is still at her throne.}

PRINCESS: And that's my story. Arrest me if you want. That's probably best.

AGENT J: ... Okay.

{Cut: Z's Office. Agent J and S are there, as well as Z.}

Z: Great job, Agent J. I trusted you would get it done right.

AGENT J: I'm not your top agent for nothing!

Z: Anyhow, we have Princess Pussycat in jail, as well as Ms. Fawls. I pray they're having a nice time.

AGENT J: Yeah. Sure.

{Pause.}

Z: Pasta Roni, anyone? Huh?

{Cue the credits sequence.}

THE SKULLB SHOW
Episode 29:
Shaken, not Stirred
Part Two

STARRING
Jeremy Cohen as Agent J
Francesca Giannopolou as Mrs. Cashmoney
Zippy Platypus as Z
Skullivan Buggy as S
Cassidy Rogers as Princess Pussycat
Casey Cohen as Angela Fawls

APOLOGIES TO
the James Bond series

{Cut: the Living Room. Casey, Jerry, SkullB and Fran are on the couch.}

SKULLB: So? What do you think?

CASEY: Eh.

JERRY: The execution was... odd.

FRAN: Why did I have only three lines?

{Pause.}

SKULLB: So we wasted two episodes?

JERRY: Does anybody really watch this?

SKULLB: ... You have a good point.

{Cue real credits.}