(even if you aren't vegan)
Green Grass and High Tides Forever!/Characters
KING AWESOME
WHAT A SURPRISE
IT'S ME
I'M THE BEST
ASSHOLES
Main Corpses
WHOA SHIT WHO ARE ALL THESE LOSERS
GET READY TO TASTE YOUR OWN COLONS
Kano
Kano is from a CRYING game called "Super Baby Diaper Pooper". He is portrayed as a PILE OF FLESH, as he has the ability to BLEED HEAVILY, along with other things LIKE DYING. He has appeared in two DUMB LOSER VIDEOS, STUPID BULLSHIT, and NO ONE CARES. He also has two food products named after him, "Kano Kola" (TASTES LIKE PISS) and "Kan-o's" (I'D RATHER EAT DOG SHIT). Some versions of "Kan-o's" turn milk into blood (A reference to a comic in A THING FOR EDGY TWEENS). Kano died like a bitch.
Visual Approximation
Dalek
Dalek is a DEAD SALT SHAKER. Unlike other Daleks, this one IS FUCKING DEAD. He also contradicts himself a lot, like when he cried for his mommy before I FUCKING CRUSHED HIM. He is rivals with Cyberman, someone NOBODY CARES ABOUT. He PLED FOR HIS LIFE with a more British version of his normal accent.
Emerl
Emerl is a 4000 year old PILE OF SCRAP METAL called the Gizoid, and was the erradicator of the "Fourth Great Civilization", something nobody remembers. He was saved by Dr. Gerald Robotnik, and made harmless. This was a mistake, since he was a FUCKING PUSSY. He seems to have copied abilities of Sonic the Hedgehog, as well as a missile and a machine gun. He apparently has glasses, but this fact has yet to be proven. Upon eating lots of sugar, he becomes the Shitty Mega Asshead Retch-inducing Loser, or SMARL, and is a potential threat to the group. Or he would be, if I hadn't EATEN HIS HEAD.
Gemerl
Gemerl is a battle Drone made my Dr. Eggman to eliminate Sonic the Hedgehog with data left over from when his grandfather turned Emerl harmless, and copied the structure, and gave him powerful weapons of destruction. He can merge with machinery, thus making him more useful. He also attempts to eliminate anything he sees as a threat of getting the Chaos Emeralds. He seems to have a distemper towards Kano, and Emerl, and Dalek, and everyone. I ATE HIS HEAD, TOO
Jeran
Jeran is a FURRY BITCH of Meridell who ended up on this show on his epic quest to toss a stinkbomb into Lord Kass' room. INSTEAD, HE GOT A NORMAL BOMB DOWN HIS ESOPHAGUS. He basically likes everyone but Kano, because he knows he's stronger than anybody but Kano AND ME, BITCHES. He seems to have the ability to pull his own sword or shield out of hammerspace if it is destroyed or lost. I SHOVED IT RIGHT BACK UP THERE.
If this was animated, Jeran voice would sound like Ike in this Video made by a child. (Warning, contains mild language, bashing of most characters, and an occorance of :well: at 1:07 done by Sonic.things NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT)
Major Weiners
CD-I Mario
CD-I Mario was A DUMB FUCKING MEME. Now he's a DEAD MEME.
CD-I Luigi
CD-I Luigi is ALSO A DEAD MEME
Shao Kahn
Shao Kahn is the final boss from Mortal Kombat 2, Mortal Kombat 3 and Ultimate MK3. He likes to insult and threaten people with phrases he used in the games, such as:
- YOU WILL DIE, MORTAL
- YOU'LL NEVER WIN
- YOU WEAK PATHETIC FOOL
- IT'S OFFICIAL, YOU SUCK
- I RULE THIS WORLD
- ARE YOU STILL TRYING TO WIN
- DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH
He still died as easily as the others. Barely put up a fight. He was like OHHH, I'M GONNA KILL YOU, PATHETIC FOOL and I was like OH YEAH FUCKING TRY ME and then he tried to stab me so I ripped out one of his arm tendons and garroted him with it.
R2-D2 and C-3P0
2 Droids from Star Wars. R2-D2 is hyperactive and brave, while C-3P0 is Cautious and Smart. They both friends of Dalek, and also more liked than him. They weren't made of any stronger metal than the salt shaker, though. I smashed up the posh gold one and shoved him in the walking trashcan. There was a fucking midget in that thing. Like, what the fuck?
Minor Characters
Sephiroth
Sephiroth Appears a few times to comment on the situation. In most situations, he stands back and watches. However, in some occasions, he also gets killed. And FUCKING HOW.
Chaos
Chaos is a kind of common Minor character in the series. You hardly ever see him, and he's thus far only appeared in small cameos. His biggest role was in episode 3, where he and Kano spent roughly a week playing demonic video games in the living room. I FUCKING WRECKED HIS SHIT
Shang Tsung
Shang Tsung is from Mortal Kombat, like Kano and Shao Kahn. Shang seems to appear more times than Chaos or Sephiroth. Shang steals souls, but hasn't stolen any in the series yet. Patrick sometimes hates him for some reason. But now they're both dead so IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER
Jarek
Jarek is from Mortal Kombat 4 and MK Armageddon. When he appears, He always says "THE BLACK DRAGON LIVE ON!" And then he gets killed/injured by Kano. Kano hates Jarek because he stole his moves; And Jarek hates Kano because he betrayed the Black Dragon clan (or so he thinks) and stole his move ideas. So far, he has only appeared in the Pilot episode. WHO THE FUCK CARES
Super Mario World Cartoon Luigi
Super Mario World Cartoon Luigi (Or SMWC Luigi for short) is from the Super Mario World Cartoon (as assumed in the name). He is also called "A DEAD BITCH" because Yoshi called him the same name in that show's (I think) final episode. He has appeared in too many POINTLESS BULLSHITS to count. He also seems to be Emerl and Gemerl's favourite punching pag. In episode 4, he proved his worth by defeating Shao Kahn. In episode WHO GIVES A FUCK he got his skull caved in with my FOOT.
Being Buried Soon
SMARL
Super Mega Awesome Rad Lizard, or SMARL for short, is SOME DUMB LOSER FROM A VIDEO GAME that None of you probably GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT.
Honey The Corpse
Honey is the first Girl in the series, as well as Emerl's girlfriend. Emerl said he BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. Honey states she likes Emerl because He's not only funny, but youthful and energetic. I FILETTED HER AND SOLD HER TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
Chu
Chu is Honey's best friend and loyal companion. He is a Chu Chu, an unknown species of space mouse. HE TASTED LIKE MARSHMALLOWS AND ASS
Taven
Taven is from Mortal Kombat Armageddon. All you really need to know about him, is that NOBODY ****S WITH TAVEN. Not even Kano can **** with Taven! They have battled 75 times, and Kano only won one round. If there's something strange in your neighbourhood, don't call the Ghostbusters! Call Taven! He'll kick that ghost's/whatever's *** to kingdom come! The only thing Taven can't kill is a giant statue of Shao Kahn. A giant living one.
HE'S FUCKING DEAD.
