Ben and Alex visit The United States of America/Georgia

georgia sweet georgia

TRANSCRIPT

{Ben and Alex touch down in Atlanta international airport}

BEN: The Good life! It feel like Atlanta, it feel like LA-

ALEX: Stop singing Yeezy choones, ben, Yeezy's a Chi-Town rapper. Besides, you're only allowed to sing Alice Cooper in my presence.

BEN: you say that but i've seen your karaoke of american boy. kanye's in that. fuck, the only reason we're even on this journey is because you think travelling america will make estelle like you.

ALEX: I STILL HAVE A CHANCE WITH HER GET OFF MY BACK GEEZ.

BEN: Okay sorry Alex. Anyway, here we are in Atlantic!

ALEX: Lanta.

BEN: Sorry, Antlanticlanta. What's the plan?

ALEX: I dunno. It's the fucking South. Be racist, I guess?

BEN: Nah, I wouldn't want to piss off our huge demographic of African-American fans.

ALEX: You're right. I don't know, maybe we can go to a concert or something?

BEN: fuck off

{Ben and Alex walk past a signpole with a sign for a new concert, headed by none other than Ray Charles.}

ALEX: Oh hey, it's Ray Charles!

BEN: do you know why he's always smiling

ALEX: Why?

BEN: because he's a world famous and beloved artist you racist cunt

ALEX: oh

{Cut to the concert, which is taking place in a small theatre. Ray Charles is sitting at his piano, singing a beautiful tune.}

RAY CHARLES: Georgia, Georgia,
The whole day through...
Just an old sweet song
Keeps Georgia on my mind.

{Alex is wiping away tears as Ray sings.}

RAY CHARLES: I said Georgia.
Georgia.
A song of you,
Comes as sweet and clear,
As moonlight through the pines.

BEN: hahaha hes blind

ALEX: shut up ben

RAY CHARLES: Other arms reach out to me...
Other eyes smile tenderly,
Still in peaceful dreams I see...
The road leads back to you...

{Suddenly, Kanye West bursts onto the stage and kicks Ray Charles off the stage, taking the mic in the process.}

KANYE WEST: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT WHO'S READY FOR SOME TUNES FROM K-YEEZY

{Ben does a happy clap, like a seal. Alex looks annoyed.}

ALEX: Hey, you can't do that to Ray Charles!

KANYE WEST: Yo, I’m really happy for Ray, Imma let 'im finish but I'm about to sing one of the best songs of all time. One of the best songs of all time!!

{Jay Z, Rick Ross, and Nicki Minaj appear to perform MONSTER.}

BEN: alex i have a monster for you

ALEX:

BEN:

ALEX:

BEN:

ALEX:

BEN: it's my di-

KANYE WEST: GOSSIP, GOSSIP, [alex's mom asked him not to use swears] JUST STOP IT! EVERYBODY KNOWS IM A MOTHERFUCKIN MONSTER!

BEN: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

{the crowd goes fucking wild as yeezy spits some ferocious bars}

JAY Z: YE! YE! STOP THE TRACK!

KANYE WEST: what, why?

JAY Z: It's important I get this right. I've been rehearsing all afternoon and I ain't ready.

KANYE WEST: JAY, WE'RE LIVE! LIVE!

JAY Z: DON'T WORRY YE, I GOT THIS!

KANYE WEST:

JAY Z:

KANYE WEST:

JAY Z:

KANYE WEST:

JAY Z: SASQUATCH GODZILLA KING KONG LOCHNESS

KANYE WEST: wtf is this

JAY Z: GOBLIN GHOUL A ZOMBIE WIT NO CONSCIENCE

KANYE WEST: jay i thought we changed this verse because-

JAY Z: QUESTION: WHAT DO ALL THESE THINGS HAVE IN COMMON?

{The sky breaks open and the Horseman of the Apocalypse break out. The ground cracks and the undead claw their way out of hell, climbing into a screaming crowd. Ben, Alex, and Kanye all look horrfied}

JAY Z: ERRYBODY KNOWS IM A MOTHERFUCKIN MONSTER!