Zarel Emails/41

Zarel E-Mail #41

Zarel starts a band.

Cast (in order of appearance): Zarel, Foxx, Fang, Pter, Coach Z, Bubs, Marzipan,

Places: The Roomy-Vac, The Stick, Marzipan's Gazebo

Transcript

ZAREL: {sings} I met this email at the port side, at night with a goat in a gas mask!

subj: hey zarsome

Dear Zarsome,
What s your favorite musical genre.

-Kenny
NV

ZAREL: Dear Zarsome, I already covered this subject! Next! {opens another email}

subj: band name? band name.

zarel,
do you have a band? what kind of music do you play?

Caroline, UT

{Zarel says "Utah" as "Ooooh-tah!"}

ZAREL: {typing} Come to think of it, Caroline, I don't have a band. However, I do hear there's a Big Band-Type Event starting soon at...{says with disdain} Marzipan's gazebo. {spoken} Ah, Marzipan's gazebo. Your posts call me every 11 emails. {typing} I'm sure if I go around town though and make some kind of big deal announcement, I'll have a band in no time!

{Zarel leaves. Cut to The Stick, music begins to play. Zarel is stapling a flyer to The Stick}

ZAREL: {singing}

Starting a band, It's kind of a thing now
{Cut to a silhouetted Foxx taking one of the tabs}
Get your friends together to do all stupid things now
{Cut to another tab in a silhouetted Fang's hand}
These shadowy guys, you probably know who they are now
{Cut to Pter reading the flyer, he's silhouetted as well}
Black paint is high on demand

{Cut to Marzipan's Gazebo, Coach Z and Bubs are walking off of it, while a couple of tomatoes and banana peels littering the stage}

MARZIPAN: And that was a...{hesitantly} great performance by the Two-O-Duo, everybody!

COACH Z: {offscreen} You know ort!

MARZIPAN: And next up we have a performance from...Massive Ravenous Shark-Duck? That doesn't sound like anything I'd be an activist for...

ZAREL: Let me handle this one, Marzy.

{Cut to a slightly dramatized shot of Zarel's band making their entrance.}

ZAREL: Allow us to introduce ourselves. The half-man, half-air with a voice as slick as honey and motor oil, please welcome Reptilian Roy!

{Cue a stylized shot of Pter, who is sporting a tuxedo}

PTER: Motor oil?! What kind of analogy is that?

ZAREL: Anyway, on our...synth board...? Doc Ōkami!

{Cue a stylized shot of Fang with a DJ's cap and headphones, also wearing shades}

FANG: My friends call me, "Doc Ōk"! {pronounced "Doc-Oak"}

ZAREL: And the down south trucker with a heart and soul, ...just Foxx.

{Cue a stylized shot of Foxx with a cowboy hat and white tee}

FOXX: I couldn't think of a stage name, sorry!

ZAREL: And then of course, there's me...

{Cue a stylized shot of Zarel wearing a leather jacket and sporting a bright green mohawk}

ZAREL: Johnny Z! And together, we are the genre-defying Massive Ravenous Shark-Duck! One, two, three, go!

{They all start playing instruments; Foxx a country guitar, Zarel a metal guitar, Fang, a synthesizer, and Pter, on vocals}

PTER: {singing in a jazz style} Oh, child, take me back to the days...

MARZIPAN: And that's all the time we have!

{Camera static cut back to the Roomy-Vac, Zarel is still in his get-up}

ZAREL: {typing} I...I can't believe it. We rocked so hard I think...I think we somehow made all the world's problems significiantly less...problematic! I think we cured disease! I think...we had a baby! Massive Ravenous Shark-Duck was like...a nuclear explosion of talent and Pter's sweet vocals! If this...{holds up a crumpled blue ribbon saying "Last Place"} last place ribbon found in Strong Mad's back pocket is anything to say by that. If anything, Massive Ravenous Shark-Duck will be back next year. We'll be on tour in your state! Seeya next time!

{The Paper}

ZAREL: So guys, next time...

{Zoom out to show the other members in the room with him}

ZAREL: Can we actually agree on a genre?

FOXX: Sure, if Fang lets me use his synth boards.

FANG: No way, I wanna get in on all that jazz!

PTER: Why not try Zarel's punk rock motif next time?

ZAREL: I guess that's a no, everyone.

Trivia

• Wow, this was a short one. Well, I did finish the rest of it right when I woke up.
• I guess I'll add more later. Or maybe not.