RiffText/TheWorld'sGreatest/The World's Greatest/62

Ding dong merrily on *blows nose* sorry guys I'm actually deathly ill like I think I might have small pox or oral thrush or something

NOXIGAR: Feel better, dude.

Transcript

{Open to the two. Quint is wearing a green scarf and antlers. Henry is wearing a green scarf and antlers.}

HENRY: QUINT! We BOTH agreed only one of us could wear antlers. Go back there and put your santa hat on!

NOXIGAR: shit let's be santa

{Quint mopes back...MOPILY.

NOXIGAR: I figured a word like MOODILY would be better-suited, as opposed to sounding horribly redundant.

He then comes back with a santa hat on. Like you might expect.}

NOXIGAR: {stifles laughter} "Like you might expect"? Is just saying "Predictably" too beneath you?

HENRY: Aight. Let's watch some fantastic Christmas telly.

{The screen statics up briefly like Slenderman

NOXIGAR: Slenderman...

NOXIGAR: Slenderman
NOXIGAR: SLENDERMAN?!
{Noxigar goes berserk.}

NAMINE: And not a creature was stirring. Not even a mouse.

is nearby or something before cutting to a screen, which flips on. Neither Quint or Henry are seen, but they provide a running commentary to the ultimatley meaningless, and thus undescribed images on the screen.}

QUINT: I wonder what's on. The Snowman? Die Hard? It's a Wonderful Life?

HENRY: I beat

NAMINE bet

Comedy Central has one of those South Park Christmas specials on

NAMINE: I cannot name a good South Park Christmas special.

QUINT: Or UKTV Gold is showing one of the hundreds of Only Fools and Horses Christmas specials!

HENRY: Ooh, How The Grinch Stole Christmas!

QUINT: Ooh, a How the Grinch Stole Christmas Parody! Ooh, a How the Grinch Stole Christmas Parody! Ooh, a How the Grinch Stole Christmas Parody! Ooh, a How the Grinch Stole Christmas Parody! Ooh, a How the Grinch Stole Christmas Parody! Ooh, a How the Grinch Stole Christmas Parody!

NAMINE: Quint sure is excited about the possibility of a How the Grinch Stole Christmas parody.

HENRY: Quite frankly, I hate all of these programs. Not enough short pauses.

QUINT: The Office Christmas has like forty.

NAMINE: I'm not exactly familiar with The Office, so I wouldn't try to contest Quint's assumption of there being more than ten Christmas episodes.

HENRY: Yeah but for some reason that's never shown around Christmas.

QUINT: Weird.

HENRY: I mean, who knows, Quint. Every now and then a new sitcom Christmas special will come along and surprise us. Like who knows. Maybe every year from now we'll be watching the Christmas special from the offbeat slapstick Sky 1 comedy "Spy"!

{Short pause. Quint and Henry share a hearty laugh}

HENRY: But honestly, I just really love "Spy".

{End}

NAMINE: What kind of Christmas special is that? I bet Chaos or Lex could write a Christmas special better than Strong Intelligent.

{Predictably, Noxigar is still berserk.}
NOXIGAR: Ooh, a How the Grinch Stole Christmas Parody! Ooh, a How the Grinch Stole Christmas Parody! Ooh, a How the Grinch Stole Christmas Parody! Ooh, a How the Grinch Stole Christmas Parody! Ooh, a How the Grinch Stole Christmas Parody! Ooh, a How the Grinch Stole Christmas Parody!

{Namine sighs.}