Zarel Emails/21

Zarel E-Mail #21

Lacking a computer, Zarel becomes a vagabond computer user to check his emails until he finds a new computer. His first stop is Strong Bad, where he checks an email asking what kind of monster he would be.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Zarel, The Cheat

Places: Strong Bad's Basement, The Stick

Transcript

{Cut to Strong Bad's Basement. Strong Bad is at the Compé, finishing up an email.}

STRONG BAD: Okay, so until next time...man, I haven't said that in ages!

ZAREL: Hey, Strong Bad!

STRONG BAD: Oh look, a conveniently placed Zarel. What do you want?

ZAREL: My computer kind of blew up, along with my house.

STRONG BAD: Your point?

ZAREL: {in an upset tone} Strong Bad, I am currently homeless, I got no place to go, no family to feed...

STRONG BAD: You...never had a wife or kids.

ZAREL: {normal} Oh. Uh, can I use your computer?

STRONG BAD: Sure, go ahead.

ZAREL: Awright! {sits down at the Compé} Checking emails from Strong Bad's space! Maybe next email I'll go another place!

Dear Zarel,
If you were some variety of very scary monster-
man, what kind would you be?
Hopin' for the best,
Skub

ZAREL: {typing} Good question, Skub. Very good question. It surprises me that no one thinks I'm a monster already...wait a sec, do you think I'm some kind of monster?! You think I'm uncivilized? Well it's society that's the uncivilized ones! They don't know what it's like man, they don't know! {silently} They don't know...

STRONG BAD: You're not a monster! What tall buildings have you destroyed? What citizens have you ate? What planets have you been from?

ZAREL: Uh...none, I'm from Earth, and I might have eaten The Cheat once.

STRONG BAD: What? When?

ZAREL: Trust me, I was really hungry, and you know how much he looks like a cheese!

{Cut to The Stick, The Cheat is standing there. Zarel scrapes his way in slowly; appearing with torn, sweaty clothing, a 5 o' clock shadow, and bloodshot eyes.}

ZAREL: {weakly} Food...food...FOOD...

{Zarel drops, Cut back to the Compé}

ZAREL: And then after that it went all downhill. Why do you think The Cheat had rabies when he was in jail?

STRONG BAD: You mean you made The Cheat go rabid?

ZAREL: No, I think it was a long time of imprisonment.

STRONG BAD: But we were only in there for ten minutes!

ZAREL: I don't know, a lot of stuff makes The Cheat tick. But whatever, if I could be a monster, I'd be one of those hydras. Or maybe a werewolf. No, wait, a werehydra! Er...hydrawolf? Yeah, hydrawolf.

STRONG BAD: Ooh! I'd love to have a pet hydrawolf!

{The Compé popup scrolls up}

Easter Eggs

• Click on the last "hydrawolf" to see a picture of one.

Fun Facts

• Strong Bad usually used to close his old emails with a "So until next time" phrase.
• A hydra is an animal of Greek myth; a reptile-type creature which would grow multiple heads.
• This email refers back to Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon.