Zarel Emails/18

Zarel E-Mail #18

Zarel participates in a dragon rally.

Cast (in order of appearance): Zarel, Strong Sad, Trogdor, S is For Sucks Dragon, Trogador, Multi-Function Dragon, Za Long

Places: Zarel's House, The Bar

Transcript

{Cut to Zarel's Room}

ZAREL: Oh boy, it's Pi Day! And in honor of that, I'm gonna check an email.

subj: dragon

Dear Steve Zarel, Do you sometimes face discrimination as a dragon? Because Trogdor, Trogador, S is for Sucks Dragon and other dragon brothers are having a rally tommorow for dragon rights. YOU SHALL OVERCOME!

-Airstar Flyer

ZAREL: {typing} Okay, first of all, my name is not Steve. Second of all, no! I don't face discrimination as a dragon! I-

{Zarel turns to notice a small group of people outside his window holding pitchforks and torches}

ZAREL: Uh oh, this could be a problem. {opens the window}

{Zoom in to show Strong Sad wearing a wizard hat}

STRONG SAD: He burninated our cottages and squashed our peasants! The one-armed menace must be stopped!

ZAREL: One-armed menace? Okay, first of all, I don't burn anything. Second, I-

{Zarel moves his other arm forward, but it's not there and he's really just moving his shoulder}

ZAREL: Don't...have...one arm? Okay, what happened to my other arm?! {moves back to the Cappy, typing} Okay, well...now I think I should be finding that dragon rally! {stops} Oh, what luck, this email was sent yesterday, that means the rally is today! {runs off}

{Cut to The Bar, Trogdor and the S is for Sucks Dragon are visible there. The S is for Sucks dragon is a purplish color, with white teeth and yellow spikes on his tail.} Trogdor is holding a clipboard and wearing reading glasses}

TROGDOR: {in a gruff voice} Okay, let's see here...I am of course present, S is For Sucks?

S IS FOR SUCKS: {in a posh British voice} Here, Sir Trogdor.

TROGDOR: Okay, the only one missing is brother Zarel-

{Zarel flies past the two}

ZAREL: Here-

{A loud thud is heard, pan to see Zarel collided against the wall}

ZAREL: {weakly} Sir...Trogdor...

TROGDOR: Okay, get off that wall.

ZAREL: Hello, dragon bromides. So that's what you really sound like, eh, Troggie?

TROGDOR: Yeah, I don't know what those dudes were thinking when they made me talk in that game, why can't they just go out and find the actual voice of yours truly? Wait a second...where is your left arm, brother Zarel?

ZAREL: I'd like to know that too. Look, I'm not trying to bite your style here-

{Pan to see Trogador and Multi-Function Dragon sitting at another set of seats}

TROGADOR: {in a voice similar to Perfect Cell} So it's my style then, huh? Look, buddy, you'll never be me even with two arms!

MULTI-FUCTION DRAGON: {in a mobster-type voice} Yeah!

ZA LONG: {gets up} Calm down, people. He's not biting anyone's style!

ZAREL: Za Long...you're real?!

ZA LONG: Of course! I'm you...but...from the future.

TROGDOR: Enough drivel-dravel! Onto the subject now that everyone's here. It seems our messenger has sent you a message, brother Zarel.

ZAREL: Oh, that Airstar kid.

TROGDOR: Being the only dragon that checks email I figure you'd be a great addition to-

TROGADOR: Hold up, I have one of those shows too!

TROGDOR: Ahem. The only dragon with a currently active email show, you know how to run a computer well.

ZAREL: I'd say so.

TROGDOR: And you know how to use the Internet.

ZAREL: Sure.

TROGDOR: Then we need to find out what makes people dislike dragons today! I mean, everyone was cool with me yesterday, but today it's different, now they all want to attack me! Not that it matters, being indestructible.

S IS FOR SUCKS: But what about the Trogdor arca-

TROGDOR: No, we never speak of that here! That is an embarrassment to one-armed dragons everywhere!

ZAREL: Look here, Trogdor. I'd love to do this for you, but I kind of only have one arm here.

TROGDOR: Right, your other arm was viciously severed in battle.

ZAREL: More like stolen. Y'see, I can pop these parts off with no harm done. {pulls off leg}

S IS FOR SUCKS: Oh, dear! {faints}

TROGADOR: Quick! Someone call a doctor! He's going into labor!

MULTI-FUNCTION DRAGON: Um...what are you talking about? Zarel's a guy like all of us-

ZA LONG: {yells} QUIET!

{Everything goes silent}

ZA LONG: I know Zarel more than any of you, okay? He's just fine! Now look, being the only two-armed one here with normal hands...

MULTI-FUNCTION DRAGON: He has a point. My hands are too scraggly-

TROGDOR: And S' fingers are too beefy-

ZA LONG: I will check this out.

{Cut to another shot of the Cappy on the bar desk. Za Long is currently on "Some Kinda Search Site"}

ZA LONG: {typing} "March 14th, 2010..." Aha! Here we go. {reading} "Apart from being the release day of two new Pokemon games, every 5 years on March 14th, assortments of nerds scout out for real-live dragons to slay. It is called National Peasant's Quest Day." There we go. According to this, tomorrow we'll be looked on as normal again.

TROGDOR: I hope so. I can't handle another sword or arrow...

MULTI-FUNCTION DRAGON: But I thought you said you were invincible!

TROGDOR: Uh...erm...Well, anyway, brother Zarel, you should be fine tomorrow.

ZAREL: I hope so. Y'know, maybe one of said "nerds" snuck into my house and stole my arm to make me seem like you, Trogdor. Maybe I'll get it back tomorrow. But for now, let us dragons chillax for a day here and enjoy a couple of Cold Ones. Who's with me?

{Excited murmurs come from the other dragons. Fade in to show Za Long playing a Trogdor arcade machine and Zarel watching.}

ZAREL: Ooh! Get that peasant over there! Watch out for the knight-

{The "Sworded" sound is heard and the game over jingle is played}

ZAREL: And the Trogdor falls in the niiiiiiiiiight!

{Trogdor lets out a groan}

ZAREL: Wait, hold on. {kicks the machine and the "TROGDOR" sound is heard}

TROGDOR: Can we just play some Peasant's Quest or something?

MULTI-FUNCTION DRAGON: Hey, can someone hit "Puree" on my chest? I wanna make some smoothies!

{The Paper}

Fun Facts

• Pi Day is March 14th, because of 3.14.
• Trogador has an email show made by The Noid, but we haven't heard much of it lately.
• Za Long reads about two new Pokemon games released today, which are Heart Gold and Soul Silver.
• According to KOT'S VOQPCS, one of the options on the Multi-Function Dragon is "puree."