The RemolayRemadin Projects/Heavenly Hell

Remolay is killed in his sleep, wait WHAT!?

Transcript

{open on Tri and Elipses watching the burning wreckage of the previous chapter.}

TRI: I suppose that we're going to be blamed for this.

ELIPSES: It is our fault. Indirectly at least.

TRI: {angry} Well how were WE supposed supposed to know the he'd burn down the village instead of save it! {stops and thinks for a second} Sorry, Stupid question.

ELIPSES: Save it from what? They were the ones messing with the Ogre.

{Tri pulls out a scroll with the true history of the burning town, currently with words describing the burning appearing on it}

TRI: Brother, look here for a second. {points to a spot on the scroll and reads} "The ogres that lived on this land were driven out by Wallace Mart. Whom was afterward sentenced to greet visitors for the rest of his life.

ELIPSES: {confused} Then it didn't need to be saved?

TRI: Wallace was planning something that required the extermination of this last ogre. While burning down the entire village may have stopped this plan, it also burned down the entire village.

ELIPSES: I see. Time to guide them towards somewhere else?

TRI: They're probably miles away by now.

REMOLAY: {offscreen} Actually, I've been right behind you for the past several sentences and {Pans out to actually show Remolay and Remadin}... You don't seem to be surprised at all.

TRI: I honestly don't care.

REMADIN: Right... So what was this about guiding us?

ELIPSES: What was what about guiding us?

REMADIN: Not you, us.

ELIPSES: That's what I...

TRI: It was nothing. You heard us incorrectly

{Remadin stares into Tri's eyes}

REMADIN: You're lying. What are you guys, really.

TRI: {angrily, to Elipses} You see, this is why you were supposed to tell Remadin to stay away! {to Remadin} We are the Marks Brothers. Both rangers of sorts. My brother here likes to use a gun, pfft, useless crap if you ask me.

REMOLAY: Get to the point before I get bored.

TRI: Right. We were sent by our guild, comprised mainly of those who can see into the future, to protect you, Remolay, if things got to hard on your destined journey.

REMADIN: {confused} Wouldn't that be interfering with destiny?

ELIPSES: You'd think so, but our destiny apparently ties in with Remolay's. Gotta be careful not to screw up though, I already have with yours.

REMADIN: What do you mean messed with mine?

TRI: Too late for that now. You must continue on your journey of destined destiny. And we might as well come too, seeing as how you know we'll be there and all.

REMOLAY: Damn, this day was going so well too

ELIPSES: Follow me, I know a town with a good inn nearby

{fade to black. Writing on the screen says "Remolay, It's Elipses. You should probably wake up. These guys seem to be only concerned with you. We can't even hurt them."}

REMOLAY: {offscreen} What!? What guys!?

{text changes to "Just get up! Wake up and defend yourself!" Cut to Remolay coming out of his trance just as he is stabbed in the heart, Cut to hell as Remolay arrives}

REMOLAY: Awww hell.

THE DEVIL: {offscreen} Precisely...

{cut to Remolay's room; Tri, Elipses, and Remadin are standing around Remolay's corpse}

TRI: Aw hell...

ELIPSES: Probably with his track record.

REMADIN: I would resurrect him, but I need more rest.

TRI: Go back to sleep then! We need him alive for this!

REMADIN: {angrily} I can't help but notice that you haven't told us what "This" is.

TRI: If I could I would, trust me.

{cut back to hell, Remolay walking with the devil}

THE DEVIL: As you can see, we have it all. Direct torture, Ironic punishment, Comeuppance, The whole nine yards. {walks up to a door} What we have in store for you, is of the ironic variety.

{The Devil opens the door and throws Remolay in. Cut to Remolay at walls of fire, Shuddering a bit. A portal opens and thousands upon thousands of monsters spawn, advancing towards him. Remolay unsheathes both katana.}

REMOLAY: An endless wave of enemies actively trying to kill me? {lunges at a tall monster, and yells} This is the best day of my life!

{cut back to Remolay's room, four hours later. Remadin is casting a spell}

REMADIN: LawlRez!

{Nothing happens}

ELIPSES: {confused} What the hell? Why isn't he back?

REMADIN: It seems that he enjoys hell.

TRI: Why do I find this unsurprising?

REMADIN: Don't worry about anything, I prepared for this possibility. I always suspected he would die before he was supposed to, so I learned how to teleport. We're going to have to go to hell and drag Remolay out!

TRI: Why doesn't this surprise me either?

{Remadin opens a portal to hell, Tri and elipses enter it. Remadin follows as the portal closes. Cut to hell, where they appear right in front of the devil}

THE DEVIL: {angrily} Who dares trespass into the realm of hell!?

REMADIN: Uhh... We do

ELIPSES: Yeah hi. I'm Elipses Marks, These are my companions; Tri, My brother, and Remadin Da'Aylf. We think you may have received one of your eternally damned a few years early...

THE DEVIL: Oh you mean the guy who (raising his voice} is taking his punishment as if it were HEAVEN!

REMADIN: That sure as here sounds like my brother. Can we have him back?

THE DEVIL: Oh, please. Take him. That is, if you can pull him away from his killing things. He's in the room marked Remolay

REMADIN: Thanks a lot, your a good man.

THE DEVIL: {angrily} You take that back!

REMADIN: Right sorry. We'll be off now. {turns to leave} Oh and by the way. Remolay's idea of hell would be complete peace that is unable to be disrupted. You'll be better off sending him to heaven.

THE DEVIL: Duly noted

{cut to Remolay, still slaying the enemies in creative ways, most involving some form of decapitation}

REMOLAY: {singing} What fun it is to laugh and sing a slaying song tonight. Oh, I'm in hell, I'm in hell having a great day. Killing every living thing that's standing in my way, HEY!

{cut to right outside of the door, Remadin listening in while they prepare to go inside}

REMADIN: He's singing whimsically... Oh dear brother, you scare me sometimes.

TRI: Well, shall we get him out of there.

REMADIN: No. I shall. You shall stay out here.

ELIPSES: {laughs} Good one, man. Let's get in there and pull him out.

REMADIN: No, seriously. I'm the only one who could convince him to come out, I'm his brother, and contrary to what he may lead you to believe, he would never hurt me. You guys, he'd stab in a heartbeat

{Remadin opens the door to Remolay's room, cut to inside, him walking in and Remolay still singing}

REMOLAY: {singing} Five hundred seven dead, a whole lot more to go... {stops as he notices Remadin} Oh great, let me guess, You've come to rescue me. {turning towards Remadin} Well, I'm not interested, I'm having fun here.

REMADIN: I figure you'd say that. You know that barrier thing I always have prepare?

REMOLAY: {slightly worried} Yeah...

REMADIN: Barrier.

{Remadin holds out his hand and Remolay falls over. Remadin drags him out of the room. Cut back to the inn, right outside Everyone standing in a group.}

REMOLAY: Well, you got me, I guess I have no choice but to... {Grabs out his swords and starts stabbing himself, nothing happens} WHY. ISNT. IT. WORKING.

REMADIN: Um, all we did was teleport out of there. Technically speaking, you're still dead. You can't kill yourself.

REMOLAY: {angrily} Resurrect me. Resurrect me now!

REMADIN: No. Not unless you promise not to kill yourself.

ELIPSES: Why aren't we a part of this conversation?

REMOLAY: {sigh} Fine. I promise. As long as I am your brother, I will not cause my own death.

ELIPSES: No seriously, It's like we aren't even here.

REMOLAY: Quiet, Mommy and Daddy are talking.

{Remadin raise his arms}

REMADIN: LawlRez!

{Remolay disappears and walks out of the inn}

REMOLAY: Why did you leave my body in there?

TRI: We were in your room when we teleported the first time. Now that we are a whole team, perhaps we should press on. My brother and I shall lead the way.

REMOLAY: Not like we have any choice otherwise.

ELIPSES: Hey, It's a Happy ending right?

REMOLAY: Define "happy".

{fade to black, Text saying: "Happy (n): feeling or showing pleasure or contentment" appears}