RiffText/TheBluebryShow/8

BACKSTORY:

NOXIGAR: YAY, BACKSTORY! I MISSED YOU BECAUSE BLUEBRY OUTRIGHT REFUSED TO MAKE CONTEXT WITH YOU INVOLVING EVERY OTHER DAMN CHARACTER!

so this one kid was talking to me once and he was like "i thought you and marc (best friend) went to concerts like, all the time." i was of course like "uh, no" because i don't have that kind of time or money. it was kind of obvious that he thought that we not only actually went to concerts like it was a lifestyle, but that he wanted to be invited to our lifestyle and hang out with us all day everyday which would not happen because he is rude to all of our friends.

NOXIGAR: "Rude to all of our friends"? Good enough reason I guess.

so i decided to write what he probably imagines our "concert lifestyle" to be just because it is so horribly not what my life is

NOXIGAR: Again, okay. At least this time you give out proper backstory so the audience isn't left completely in the blue.

btw i'm making his name john

NOXIGAR: I don't care what the person is named after so long as you don't name him after me.

BLUEBRY: hey marc you ready for this concert tonight

MARC: yeah man this is going to be the bomb dot com

NOXIGAR: Pfff,
Okay. I understand "John" to be a lethal joke character now.

{john gets here}

BLUEBRY: hey what's up BRO

NOXIGAR: I'm totally glad this is not how you talk on here or in reality by the sound of your backstory.

JOHN: not much

MARC: you ready for this concert? would you like some beer in a bottle?

JOHN: of course!

{MARC gives JOHN some BEER.

NOXIGAR: Oh no this had better NOT be SENTENCE CRAFTING from HOMESTUCK. HOMESTUCK is a TERRIBLE series which should DIE in a FIRE. Yes, I'm imaginging FIRE despite being PYROPHOBIC.

in JOHN's mind it is probably something really nice like heinekin

NOXIGAR: Heineken. Come on, I don't even drink beer and I know this!

, when in reality it would probably be like natty lite.

NOXIGAR: What is natty lite? I'm sorry, I'm not well-versed in alcohol like you.

he guzzles it down in a minute like he's been a lifelong alcoholic}

NOXIGAR: Which isn't saying much. From where I used to go to high school, a good chunk of the kids, even some of my classmates, drank booze like it was nothing.

JOHN: that was some amazing beer!

MARC: hey, who's playing tonight?

BLUEBRY: i have no idea. i mean we just kind of spend our nights down there, seeing whichever band is playing

MARC: because we are rock and roll

BLUEBRY: one sec, let me get out some pot weed

NOXIGAR: Ha ha ha how HIGH do you even have to BE to think of any other joke?

JOHN: oh of course

{BLUEBRY rolls a perfect joint of some marijuana weed ganja and then they all smoke it}

NOXIGAR: like pros

MARC: okay time to drive to the concert

{They get in bluebry's MAZDA which is blasting generic ROCK MUSIC with the windows ROLLED DOWN. popular people see us and wave for some reason}

NOXIGAR: Bluebry owns a Mazda? Or is that supposed to be a joke about the typical "concert adventurer" and car choice?

THE CONCERT

{there are a bunch of cool people who probably shop at URBAN OUTFITTERS.}

NOXIGAR: Cool, a name of a store I neither know nor care about.

BOUNCER: yo yo yiggity yo welcome to the concert

NOXIGAR: What

BLUEBRY: who is playing again?

BOUNCER: the cool kids

COMPANY: that's what we are!

{epic menage a trois high five}

NOXIGAR: Sentence verb agreement is lacking. Come on, Bluebry! You've at least been partway faithful with the grammar!

THE CONCERT FOR REAL THIS TIME

NOXIGAR: Wait what? I thought that was the concert.

LEAD SINGER: {generic rock music lyrics}

JOHN: i love the lead guitarist!

BLUEBRY: everybody does!

NOXIGAR: Excellent comeback, Bluebry
NOXIGAR: No I'm not being sarcastic that was a nice comeback.

LATER ON

MARC: well it's only 9:30 PM on a Wednesday night!

BLUEBRY: let's go to taco bell/pizza hut for some munchies

BLUEBRY: because of the marijuana

NOXIGAR: Okay, that explanation was not necessary.

and that is basically how i imagine he imagines his life if he lived like he hung out with an imagination of my life

NOXIGAR: If only these episodes weren't short and sparse. If only these episodes had context, backstory, and logic in them. If only the characters, outside of Bluebry, weren't all so static. If you bitch about Bell Quest like this, I can bitch about this in an equivalent if not more severe way.