Wikihood/arc/30

Summary

Sephiroth disappears, and 3 new characters are introduced.

Transcript

{Cut to where the last episode left off. Universitas flies off into the sky.}

ALPHAMON: I have an eerie felling about him...

{FF7 Sephiroth comes in, along with Van.}

FF7 SEPHIROTH: Hey! Chaos! Do you know where Sephiroth went? Shortly after Universitas came, and Adel left, he just disappeared! What happened?

ALPHAMON: You've got me!

VAN: Hey, other Seph? Why do you think we all lived?

{Kain lands next to the group.}

KAIN: It is quite a paradox.

FF7 SEPHIROTH: Weird. Wait... I've got it! The Universe being destroyed was a ploy to get us all together! ...But for what?

ALPHAMON: Got me on that one. All the meanwhile, we should be careful of Universitas. I've never seen Joseph with that much power.

FF7 SEPHIROTH: Me neither.

ALPHAMON: Our biggest worry should be whatever happened to Adel.

{Cut to a throne room. Everything is seen in a the eyes of someone. A Purple Diamond Plated Sharothian floats in.}

ZANE: Prince Leo! {Bows.} Good morning to you sire!

{The First Person turns to Third Person, as it shows a Sharothian with Royal Armour.}

LEO: {Sighs.} What is it Zane?

ZANE: Well, I need to tell you the morning report!

LEO: Do I have to?

ZANE: Yes! You're going to be king in 2 weeks, so you better be ready!

LEO: You know what, when I'm king, I'm gonna fire you.

ZANE: Don't talk like that sire! You're getting married in 2 weeks!

LEO: I know, but Celia's my best friend! It would fell weird to marry her!

ZANE: Your father never was that picky.

LEO: Well, I don't do well in small spaces! I'd give up my riches to be out there! Adventure, Excitement! Near Death experiences!

ZANE: Sire! Get those ridiculous thoughts out of your head now!

NOXIGAR: Leo? Leotheras? You must be that ancient thing in this Ansem's report. He visited this world in Final Fantasy 5w337 XVI that's on the PS3.

{OOC: FF7 parody}

NOXIGAR: Now... where was I? I think I was-

{Cut to Twilight Town's backyard. Namine is drawing Noxigar with a talk bubble as though he was sent "by Leo's dad to save you from danger"}

NAMINE: {thinking} There we go!

{OOC: Leo's dad is dead. Leo's dad is king of Sharoth. Leo is prince of Sharoth.}

{Cut back to the throne room}

NOXIGAR: Sent here ages ago. Some agent named Chimendez, that Zane guy's uncle, sent me here on behalf of yer dad.

{Crickets chirp, that's it}

NOXIGAR: I'm gonna guess you don't know Chimendez. Time for my next ploy.

{Noxigar's sleeves turn into saw blades, and he charges at Leo}

NOXIGAR: Prepare yourself!

{Leo grabs the saw blades.}

LEO: Who are you? An attacker? I'll take you myself! {Bends arm behind Noxigar, and bends his back. He puts his foot on his back. Tell me, or I'll break your back!

NOXIGAR: I'm an armless person of Organization XIII. The last one, to be exact. {grins} You act just like your dad. Bold and aggressive when provoked. I'm here to defeat Roxas once and for all. Your dad should have a journal entry about me and my rivalry with him.

{Leo lets go.}

LEO: Hmm... Well, his journal was destroyed by attackers during the First Chaos crisis. Wait. YOU'RE WITH THE FIRST CHAOS, AREN'T YOU?!

NOXIGAR: No, I hate that guy.

LEO: {Draws out a Saix Claymore.} Then what do you want me for, then?

NOXIGAR: {clears his throat} This may sound awkward to you, but I need your help in defeating the Beast. He's tremendously strong, and cheaper than Ike.

{Cut to a Wendy's where an "Ikeburger" with a Wii joystick is only "worth 99 cents"}

LEO: The Beast.... {Gets out a little device.} The Beast. Cursed by enchantress. Lives in Castle. Why?

{Noxigar gathers a thought, and a lightbulb appears on his head}

NOXIGAR: He killed a friend of mine named Xaldin. And he was cursed due to being very vain and arrogant or a prince. As an example of how powerful you are, why don't we have an adventure and get lotsa spaghetti, booty, that sort of thing.

LEO: A prince. Like me!

ZANE: Soon to be king.

LEO: Yes!

{A Musclebound Sharothian, with a Red and Yellow shirt over his armour comes in. His lackey, with a brown coat comes in.}

LEO: Drago.

DRAGO: Leo. ...Umm.... Are you still engaged to Celia?

ZANE: Of course he his! He's gonna be king!

LEO: Shut up! No, we're just friends.

DRAGO: Oh. Okay. {Walks out.}

{OOC: Drago is a new villain. He's chauvinistic, self-centered, narcissistic, and rude. He wants to marry Celia for himself.}

NOXIGAR: Uh... who was that guy? Do you know him, Leotheras?

LEO: Smegging Hell.. Yes. He's a world famous hunter. Really up himself.

NOXIGAR: I think I know the solution to how to one-up every royal family in fiction. Have a ridiculous wedding that everyone in Wikihood is invited to!

{Deathbringer walks onscreen with multiple bruises}

DEATHBRINGER: I've already tried that.

NOXIGAR: Then we need...

{Noxigar explodes via Galbadia Final, blowing up the whole castle and summoning a Blood Knight nobody and some weird thing that's related to Mudkip, Weegee, and Zergling. Everything rewinds to before.}

LEO: No, man. No.

NOXIGAR: Okay, nevermind. {reluctantly} I guess I'll have to do something politically correct. {normal voice} Any ideas?

LEO: I don't know. {Celia comes in.}

CELIA: Hello Leo!

LEO: Hello Celia!

ZANE: It's gonna be so great that you're gonna be married!

{Both of them blush.}

LEO: No we're not.

ZANE: Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but you two turtle-doves have no choice. It's a tradition...

LEO: {Mimics Zane's last 3 words.}

ZANE: ...going back generations.

LEO: Well, when I'm king, that'll be the first thing to go.

ZANE: Not so long as I'm around.

LEO: Fine. You're fired.

ZANE: Nice try. Only the king can do that.

CELIA: Well, he's the future king.

LEO: Yeah! So you have to do what I tell you!

ZANE: Not yet I don't. And with an attitude like that, I'm afraid you're shaping up to be a pretty pathetic king indeed.

LEO: Hmph. Not the way I see it.

NOXIGAR: {whispers to Zane} Sassing back at a future king only gets you fired. And besides, my idea of overthrowing other thrones will make him and Celia be future conquerors.

{Noxi backs away from Zane}

NOXIGAR: The next planet we shall get is The Place Formerly Known As Beast's Castle. It shall be Celia's Castle when we're done with it.

ZANE: I'm not going to do anything to you. I'm a pacifist. By the way, he's still prince, so he can't fire me yet. And, about the morning report...

LEO: I don't want the damn report!

ZANE: Well, you're getting it already!

NOXIGAR: Here, gimme this report. {breezes through it} Universe exploded, Chwoka won Pole Vault contest {eyes enlarge} WHAT?! Davros is back?!

LEO: We all know that! They're at Glabalia! We're staying out of the war. In fact, we even moved the universe!

ZANE: And now, for the real report. {Music starts to play.}

LEO: Singing. Jeez.

ZANE: {Singing.} It's an honor and a privilege, a duty I perform
With due sense of decorum and with pride
With deference and great respect very much the norm
Plus a hint of sycophancy on the side
To lay before my ruler all the facts about his realm
To fill him in on all the beastly news
In order that His Majesty stands sturdy at the helm
Aware of all of Sharoth's latest views!

LEO: Zane! The morning report!

ZANE: Yes... Fine.

Japes are going ape, Demons remain above it all
Wisdom Ants remember, though just what I can't recall!
Ecomodiles are snapping up fresh offers from the banks
Showed interest in my money but I quickly said, "No thanks!"
We haven't paid the Minotaurs and the Bunchies have a hunch
Not everyone invited will be coming back from lunch

This is the morning report!
Gives you the long and the short
Every grunt, roar and snort
Not a tale I distort
On the morning report!

ZANE:The Bovina have got a beef
About this season's grass
Gasogs have been thwarted
In attempts to save their gas
Pininaos in the pink
Chasing secretary birds
Saffron is theis season's color
Seen in all the herds
Moving down the rank and file
To near the bottom rung
Far too many Feceos are
Quite frankly in the dung!

ZANE:This is the morning report
Gives you the long and the short
Every grunt, roar and snort
Not a tale I distort
On the morning report!

NOXIGAR: Nice singing voice.

ZANE: Why thank you. I am voiced by Rowan Atkinson you know.

{OOC: Teehee.}

NOXIGAR: Never heard of Rowan Atkinson. Anyway, want to go on that adventure I mentioned before your future wife interrupted our conversation, Leotheras?

{Crickets chirp again}

NOXIGAR: Leo?

LEO: Sure.

ZANE: I'm coming too!

LEO: Fine..

{OOC: You've never heard of Rowan Atkinson? He's Mr. Bean, and also Blackadder.}

{Noxigar creates a darkness portal to Beast's Castle}

NOXIGAR: Send in the troops.

LEO: We don't need troops. We're good fighters. Except for Zane.

ZANE: Hey!

{They go in.}

CELIA: Good luck!

{Cut to behind the door. Draco, and Lefot is there.}

DRACO: Perfect! I'll make fake rumors that Leo died there, and take Celia as my own!

LEFOT: You're as smart as you are strong Draco!

DRACO: Aren't I the best?

{Cut back.}

NOXIGAR: Alright, so everyone knows the plan, right? Storm the castle, defeat the Beast so I can avenge Xaldin, and we have more land and space to the Leotheras Kingdom.

LEO: Why don't you call me Leo?

NOXIGAR: Your dad said Leotheras was the name. I'll just use Leo to save dialogue.

LEO: My dad said lots of things.

NOXIGAR: He did.

{The Beast sees the troops from a window and jumps down, throwing them off a bridge}

LEO: So you're the Beast?

BEAST: GET OUT!!!!

NOXIGAR: No. Not until I pay you back for what you did to Xaldin.

BEAST: Xaldin? I had I good reason! He planned to kill me, and make me a heartless! And he kidnapped Belle!

{Noxigar transforms into Xaldin and gets out the 6 lances}

NOXIXALDIN: Payback is payback!

{Noxixaldin uses the 6 lances to strike The Beast with one huge lance}

BEAST: GRR! GET OUT!! {Claws Noxi in the face, leaving a large mark.}

{Noxigar shields himself with the 6 lances after the Beast scratches him. This music plays during the battle: [1]}

LEO: I'm gonna help as a support character. Like Donald! {Puts an Aero spell on Noxigar.}

{Noxigar pokes The Beast repeatedly with the 6 lances}

NOXIGAR: {to himself} Let's hope we can find a weak spot!

{Cut to the empty halls of Beast's Castle. A cloaked figure hides behind a wall and puts on a punching dagger.}

????: I have him now, that foolish Noxigar. He'll pay for what he did to us.

{Noxigar and the Beast continue to pummel each other until it ends with The Beast victorious.}

THE BEAST: Heh. And you thought you could take my castle? Strange of you to think that unless you were a megalomaniac.

{OOC: Megalomania = delusions of grandeur}

LEO: Okay. This was pointless. ....Wanna go compete in a tournament in the Underdrome?

{Noxigar gets up and explodes, covering the Beast in sludge}

{OOC: The move is called Sludge Bomb, lol}

NOXIGAR: Thought I'd lose? That's cliche!

{Noxigar does a victory pose on top of The Beast}

LEO: But still? Want to go?

ZANE: No! We must go back!

LEO: No. Killjoy. UNDERDROME!

????: Not so fast!

{The Cloaked Figure appears.}

????: You will pay what you owe!

NOXIGAR: Ah, another battle. May I ask for your name?

LEO: Damn it. Underdrome after this.

????: You don't remember, do yuo? Maybe this will refresh your memory!

{The figure throws a hand with a dagger through it on the ground.}

LEO: Me or Noxigar?

{The figure glides himself over to Leo.}

????: Well, I don't think a wimp like you could have done that to me.

LEO: Wimp? Me? Oh really? {Pulls out a sword, and points it at him.}

????: {sarcastically} Oh, so scary. I'll just delicately raise my arms up... {when his arms rise, the sword falls to bits.}

LEO: You fell for my ruse? That sword was fake! {Pulls out a more powerful sword, and slashes a pattern into him. He then jumps, and slashes him even more. ???? grasps him arm in pain.} How's that for a wimp, loser?

????: I felt nothing, But I felt everything.

LEO: FIRAGA! {Fire surrounds him, and burns ????.} So what's your purpose here?

????: To get revenge for what he did to us!

LEO: Well, Noxigar is with me right now, so come later!

????: I won't leave until he is killed!

NOXIGAR: Hmm... not sure if I remember you or not...

????: If it helps, I can tell you our name:Cloak, and Dagger.

BEAST: I'm still here! {Charges at Noxigar, knocking him through a wall, into the ballroom.} It's still not over!

{A cloaked figure, exactly like Vindicator, teleports in, holding a .357 Magnum.}

CLOAKED FIGURE: So where's the impostor?

{Leo points to Cloak and Dagger.}

CLOAK: I'm not a fake!

LEO: You're a loony though.

{The cloaked figure sighs.}

CLOAKED FIGURE: No... this guy.

{The cloaked figure holds up a picture of Vindicator without the cloak.}

LEO: Oh, no I haven't seen him. {Gets the device out, and scans the picture. The Screen comes up with a great big "INFORMATION CLASSIFIED".} Dang. Never mind.

DAGGER: I think I might know who can help us.

LEO: Meh.

DAGGER: You don't seem very enthused.

LEO: Nah, It's slowly sinking into me. I've never left my castle, you know. To be somewhere else, is just, you know.

CLOAK: Well, adventuring's just like a bug and- Oh, look at me, what am I doing?

DAGGER: We came here to defeat Noxigar!

LEO: Beast knocked him into the ballroom.

CLOAK: Well, maybe can healp each other out after I defeat Noxigar.

LEO: I'm listening... So, what's the Quid Pro Quo? You know, what do I get, and what do I do for you?

DAGGER: Based off what I've heard, you like adventure, right?

LEO: Yep. Anything not boring.

{OOC: You know, that was me using the opportunity to say Quid Pro Quo. I always wanted to use it.}

{OOC: I've always wanted to say "Penultimate". Ho, wait, I just did.}

DAGGER: So, I can get you the ultimate device:A map. A map that can tell you of any adventure, anywhere, it gives you the location, and it always picks Grade-A adventures, that give you lots of powerful objects and such. It'd be like the ultimate Dungeon companion.

LEO: I'm in. Does it include ancient kingdoms I can control?

DAGGER: Just tell it what you want for an adventure, and it finds the best one it can, and gives you full details.

LEO: I'm in. Yep. What do you want me to do. By the way, you know I'm a powerful prince, so if you want riches, or land, I can be generous.

DAGGER: Well, I wouldn't mind a sharp weapon or two. Anyways, I need you to find and hunt down the one called "Chaos". He carries the map.

CLOAK: But be careful. He also carries a parchment known as the "Scroll of All Life". The two are very similar, but the scroll only shows lifespans and such.

{Noxigar Sludge Bombs the Beast again, throwing him off the bridge into a huge, gaping plothole}

NOXIGAR: Now that's how it's done!

LEO: {To the viewers.} Don't worry. He's fine. If he died, continuity in the Movie, and the Kingdom Hearts series would perish. Wait.. Chaos? I've heard of him! I'll look on the database! {Looks up Chaos, and it shows a picture of him, along with general stats. On Current Location, it says: Unknown.}

NOXIGAR: Interesting.

{Cloak and Dagger slowly approach Noxigar to stab him.}}

DAGGER: Something the matter?

{Noxigar picks them up and throws them to the ground.}

CLOAK: Ow.

{Leo pulls out a chest, and opens it. Inside of it are full of sharp weapons of high value.}

DAGGER: {Lifts his head up, Dizzy} Yay. I getsh shome giftsh. {his head falls down}

LEO: Like this. {Pulls out a basooka like weapon. He pulls the trigger, and 10 sharp claws on chains cut through a stone wall.}

NOXIGAR: Now, while you're all, uh, playing with your new toys, I'm going inside to clean Leo's new castle!

{Noxigar goes inside "Beast's" Castle}

{5 Minutes later, cut to inside the dining room. Noxigar is sittting at the table, while the "Be my Guest" scene plays.}

CLOAK: You are so lucky I'm still a little desensitized right now or I;d smash everything in sight.

LUMINERE: We tell jokes! I tell tricks, with my fellow candlesticks!

NOXIGAR: You guys are an interesting bunch. {shouting} Hey Leo! Time to meet some new friends!

DAGGER: Well, I need to go find something else to kill. Don't be suprized if the dresser blocking the dungeons is torn to pieces.

{The camera follows Dagger as he makes his way towards the dungeons. Rave music plays, however, and creates flashing lights.}

CLOAK: What the-?

DAGGER: This place is messed up.

CLOAK: Told you.

DAGGER: Well, I didn't think Noxigar could be this much more dumbfounded than before.

{Alucard walks in.}

ALUCARD: Greetings, I'm Alucard. Have you seen my father anywhere?

{Cogsworth walks in}

COGSWORTH: I don't think these guys know who you are, even.

ALUCARD: My father is going to buy this castle from the Beast. Mr. Belmont destroyed his old one.

NOXIGAR: Sorry, kiddo. Leotheras the Great has control of this castle, and I helped.

CLOAK: Beyond that, who said we'd let him take it over?

LEO: I'll rent it to him if he wants to!

ALUCARD: I'll tell him... once I find him.

COGSWORTH: Now... where were we?

NOXIGAR: I think those two strangers wanted to go to the dungeons for some reason.

DAGGER: Yeah:For some Peace and Quiet.

ALUCARD: That's where he went! {Runs offscreen.} Hey! Outta my way fatty! {The Wardrobe lands infront of them.}

{Noxigar finds a crown on the floor, picking it up with Saix's claymore, and placing it on Leo's head}

NOXIGAR: There! Now that's a kingly guy! Now we just need an over-the-top wedding ceremony and that crown is permanent!

{Noxigar snaps his fingers and the screen fades to black, ending the episode.}