Wikihood/arc/22

Summary

The plot is changed drastically. Stealth Sneak, Kurt Zisa, and an illusion of Deathbringer are confronted, and Riku and Kairi are going to be kidnapped for the weirdest scheme in villain history: marry someone and additionally torture a mass amount of others. And you thought Count Olaf was pathetic...

Transcript

{Cut back to Pandemonium.}

CHAOS: Hmm. So, how do we fix the plot?

NOXIGAR: By removing the plot and then coming up with a replacement.

USERUNKNOWN: By showing more Chuck Norris... or... THIS!{Punchs Chaos}

CHAOS: How about we kill all the idiots?

{Chaos pulls out a scythe and prepares to kill Userunknown, but everyone stops him and topples him over.}

CHAOS: Let go of me!

USERUNKNOWN:No.How about this!

{Userunknown teleports away.He teleports back with an army of ninjas that start attacking all the charecters}

USERUNKNOWN:You take the big guy.

{Chaos blasts the Ninjas away.}

CHAOS: Stop it. You're not helping remedy the situation.

USERUNKNOWN:How about traping us all on an island, Strangerhood-style?

{Moobly appears.}

MOOBLY: Traping? What is traping? {having a go at spelling mistakes}

USERUNKNOWN:Moobly?What kind of name is Moobly?

{Userunknown shoots Moobly}

MOOBLY: Ow, you suck. I'm telling my giant army of Kirby's that is some way away. {runs off}

USERUNKNOWN:So, how do you like my idea?

CHAOS: We need to FIX it. Not worsen it. We need to destroy the villain and retain an era aof peace for a while. From the looks of it, the villain is Noxigar's Heartless.

SEPHIROTH: {While Chaos is talking, he finds a nearby treasure cave.} Ooh! Shiny Demon Jewelery! {Runs in, and 20 minutes later, he runs out, holding only a bag, with a carpet, and a lamp in it. Both from Aladdin. The cave quickly collapses.} Chaos. You didn't tell me Pandemonium has a shortcut to the Cave of Wonders!

USERUNKNOWN:Weird.Back to us talking.Well, whats your idea, Chaos?

CHAOS: WE need...a second war!

{Crickets chirp.}

CHAOS: Right. We need to defeat this heartless and repel the zombies by forcing back here. Which means we need 2 teams, an attack team and a force team. Now, who's on which team?

USERUNKNOWN:Or we could use those...{Zooms out to show 99 SUN nukes}

CHAOS: ...And that's why you're leading the force team.

USERUNKNOWN:Why don't we just save time and drop them on all of the bad guys?

SEPHIROTH: {Not listening to Chaos and Userunknown, he gets out the items.} Whoa. This lamp is dirty. I better clean it. {Starts to rub it with his shirt. The Lamp starts to rumble, and suddenly, Genie from Aladdin pops out.}

GENIE: I'M FREE!!!!

SEPHIROTH: Wait.. weren't you already free? Didn't you get freedom?

GENIE: Yeah, but after a while, I did everything I wanted to, and I got bored, so I came back, and hope that somebody else will find me. And you did.

SEPHIROTH: Cool.

GENIE: {Starts singing "You never had a friend like me".}

SEPHIROTH: Well, I do have quite a lot of friends like you actually. Chaos could probably do what you do... then again, he wouldn't grant me 3 wishes.

GENIE: So there you go!

SEPHIROTH: Well, that's cool. Wait... you could help us with the war! With my 3 wishes.

USERUNKNOWN:Who needs 3 wishes when we have 99 nukes?

HOMESTAR TIGER: I wish I knew about this earlier!

USERUNKNOWN:What?The nukes?

HOMESTAR TIGER: No! The wishes!

{The short hand on a clock goes from 3 to 2.}

CHAOS: They won't work. He can desintegrate them, and any metal, before they're even fired off!

{OOC: Sorry for adding a power, Noxi.}

SEPHIROTH: 3 Wishes. Yay! {Pulls out Carpet.} And Magic Carpet!

GENIE: The thing is, Only Sephiroth here can use the wishes, as he's the one who freed me. And mind control won't work.

USERUNKNOWN:How about you wish that some of the nukes would teleport inside him and explode before he can get them out?

GENIE: I can't do death wishes. But I can do this! {Spawns a Chicken on Userunknown.}

CHAOS: It still wouldn't work. SUN nukes are nothing anyways. They could hurt the zombies though, which is why I want you here.

HOMESTAR TIGER: I'm thirsty.

USERUNKNOWN:First, SUN nukes are awesome!Second, I just pressed the button to fire at the zombies any way.Third, we don't care right now.

{OOC: Stop edit conflicts. I'm trying to have you square off against something to make plot go forward - Noxi}

SEPHIROTH: Ok, I want my first wish!

GENIE: What's that?

SEPHIROTH: I wish to have my army become the Galactic Army of the Cosmos.

GENIE: Done! {Zaps finger at Sephiroth, and him, and his army, gain Cosmic powers.}

{OOC: Cosmic powers are one of the most powerful in the universe.}

HOMESTAR TIGER: I'm still thisty!

GENIE: {Zaps Homestar Tiger, a cup of fresh pure, cool mountain water.}

HOMESTAR TIGER: Wow! Thanks! {Drinks the cup}

DEATHBRINGER: You're free to go, Genie.

{Deathbringer snaps his finger and the Genie is free}

{OOC:That's what I'm trying to do! Userunknown just wants to take the rather silly and easy way out.}

CHAOS: So, who's going to help me kill the Heartless?

GENIE: No Deathbringer. I don't trust you. {Turns into a goat.} You're a Baaaaaaaaaaaad man! {Turns back, and goes back into the lamp.}

SEPHIROTH: Deathbringer! Eek! {Throws a grenade his direction.}

CHAOS: Anyone? Kill Deathbringer?

???: We can help!

{The King of All Cosmos from Katamari floats down.}

SEPHIROTH: You're kidding me, right?

HOMESTAR TIGER: {Keeps writing The Idiot's Keeper}

CHAOS: I hope he is. Now, seriously, someone volunteer to help me?

KOAC: I was unused for most episodes, but We're coming back! Us unused characters are making a comeback! By the way, Chaos, we'll help you!

{Every unused character ever appears.}

CHAOS: Good enough. Seph, will you help, too?

{Deathbringer summons Kurt Zisa, who grabs Sephiroth. Deathbringer creates a portal and Kurt Zisa caber tosses Seph into the portal. Deathbringer summons Stealth Sneak and creates an illusion of himself}

DEATHBRINGER: I bid you all farewell. Attack, two of the most legendary Heartlesses known in the Kingdom Hearts world!

{Deathbringer goes through the portal and closes it behind him}

HOMESTAR TIGER: {Writing} Homestar... cub... Done! What did I miss?

CHAOS: Well. To battle!

{Chaos opens a second portal and appears in Sunset Horizons from Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix+. Terra is there.}

CHAOS: Whhops, wrong person. Bye, enigmatic guy!

TERRA: Wait! I need to pretend you're Xehanort!

{Cut to a big battlefield, where Chaos the unused characters, and Deathbringer are.}

CHAOS: Prepare to finally die!

GENIE: Oh no! Sephy! Come on Carpet! {Opens up his own portal, in which they both go into.}

{FF7 Sephiroth Runs in, and attacks Kurt Ziza.}

FF7 SEPHIROTH: Kurt Ziza and Stealth Sneak? Legendary? Meh!

HOMESTAR TIGER: Can I help?

{Kurt Zisa grabs Homestar Tiger and bends him to the shape of a chair. Meanwhile, Stealth Sneak's camoflauge makes objects hard to hit. He laughs as Daxter hopelessly attempts to spray him with mace}

FF7 SEPHIROTH: {Fixes HST.} A Tiger. Sure. Are you a relative of Red XIII by any chance?

CHAOS: Sure. HST can help.

{Chaos turns into Demon Chaos.}

CHAOS: ATTACK!

{All of the Unused characters hop on the Stealth Sneak and Kurt Zisa, and Demon Chaos and Joseph end up in front of Deathbringer.}

CHAOS: C'mon! 2-on-1!

HOMESTAR TIGER: OH MY GOODNESS A HOMESTAR TIGER CHAIR! WAUUUGHH!

{INCREDIBLE CHOMPING NOISE!!}

{Homestar tiger ate everything on the map.}

{Suddenly, out of the shadows, comes Chris Crocker, dressed in Pink Samurai clothes.}

CHRIS CROCKER: LEAVE. CHAOS. ALONE!!! {Starts Crying, and then starts charging towards both the heartless, hopelessly slapping them.}

{Cut to Demon Chaos.}

DEMON CHAOS: Ruroni Crocker? Samurai C?

{Deathbringer's illusion summons poison cobras which kill Chris Crocker in a heartbeat and go for other characters. Kurt Zisa stomps on Demon Chaos, and Stealth Sneak's eyes shoot beams that keep everyone at least 1 yard away from him}

HOMESTAR TIGER: Man. Deathbringer, you disrupted my taste buds. There's something called Soap!

{Kurt Zisa uses his propeller arms to get people off him. Stealth Sneak grabs Homestar Tiger and climbs to the roof of a huge tower. Deathbringer's illusion's cobras go after Joseph}

AVGN: I won't {Beep} Die that fast! POWER GLOVE!!! {Lifts Kurt Zisa, and throws him off.}

WEEBL AND BOB: PIE!!! {Throws a flurry of Exploding Pies at Deathbringer.}

HOMESTAR TIGER: I don't wanna die! I still haven't finished my To-Do list!

{Several helicopters fall down from Stealth Sneak's massive claws hitting them. One of them hits AVGN. Kurt Zisa gets up and kicks AVGN. Deathbringer's illusion summons more cobras which poison Weebl and Bob}

{FF7 Sephiroth comes through, and saves HST. He then gives him a katana blade with 20 of the most powerful materia.}

{Cut to where Sephiroth, Genie, and Carpet are, which is in Deathbringer's log cabin.}

DEATHBRINGER: Welcome to your prison. Before you wonder how you're imprisoned, look down. {Deathbringer pushes a button which sends them plummeting to a jail cell with spikes on the walls}

{Homestar tiger loads the sword into his slingshot, fires it, and shoots Deathbringer. PAIN}

SEPHIROTH: Hmm.. How do we get out of this? .... {Burns the top of the cell off, and flies out with Carpet.} Nice try Deathstinker.

HOMESTAR TIGER: Is it over?

{Deathbringer pulls a lever and freezes Sephiroth and the Carpet. Kurt Zisa and Stealth Sneak combine their powers to throttle their enemies. Deathbringer's illusion attacks with a "shadow beam" enhanced with poison, and summons more poisonous cobras aimed for Homestar Tiger}

HOMESTAR TIGER: Why do you hate me? {Squishes cobras, unharmed}

{Omega comes in, and everything freezes.}

OMEGA: What is all this? {Looks at Deathbringer.} WHAT IS IT!?!? AHH!!! {Transforms into a demon form, like Chaos's. Time Resumes.}

{Deathbringer creates an illusion of Ansem adept at fighting Demon Omega. Meanwhile, Stealth Sneak Hadokens people with his eyes and the Hadoken pose, while Kurt Zisa uses his propellor arms to barrage others into a corner}

{Demon Omega grabs Deathbringer by the neck, and transports into a dark universe, it being a twisted fusion of the minds of everyone else.}

DEMON OMEGA: Listen Deathbringer! I know you! You know my purpose. TELL ME!

{Ansem's illusion kicks Demon Omega in the back of the head, stunning him. Deathbringer shows him an illusion of Sora.}

DEATHBRINGER: Kill Sora and those three annoying Keyblade masters. Rule all of the worlds in the Kingdom Hearts universe. First, I must reprogram you to obey me. {Deathbringer messes with Demon Omega's wires, causing him to shut down}

HOMESTAR TIGER: I'm not a keyblade master. {Kicks Deathbringer and scrambles away}

DEATHBRINGER: You know what? Screw the whole KH universe domination plan. You're going to kill your creator, and then maybe Roxas can go too.

{OOC: You know, Omega went through an Un-Minralization Process while he was being created. He's an Organic.}

DEATHBRINGER: Seeing as you have very few program wires, I'll put 'em back the way I had ya. {fixes wires back to normal, adding a parasitic device inside.}

{Deathbringer snaps his fingers and Demon Omega rises.}

DEATHBRINGER: Your creator is down in the basement, in a custom-made jail cell with spikes on the walls, except where a door is supposed to be. I keep said door locked. Here's the key. {Deathbringer gives Demon Omega the key} Now, you are to execute him and then go after three Keyblade masters. Their names are Terra, Ven, and Aqua. Got it memorized?

???: What about those crazy teenagers?

DEATHBRINGER: Hmm? What crazy teenagers?

???: Sora, Riku and Kairi.

DEATHBRINGER: My new Demon Omega will eventually be instructed to kill Sora. That way Roxas has no host. As for Riku, you are to capture him, and place him in an electric chair. As for Kairi, I'm not sure what to do with her. Bring her to me as well.

???: Fine boss. TRANSFORMATION!

{The mysterious figure changes into Sora}

???: I'll use this to lure them in.

DEATHBRINGER: Demon Omega will not know who to kill if there are two Soras. Change into a more versatile form.

{He changes into Heartless Sora}

???: Better?

DEATHBRINGER: I was hoping for Axel or King Mickey. Aw well. Just bring Kairi and Riku to me. I plan on torturing Riku via marrying Kairi. While he's in the electric chair, he'll be in so much pain he won't survive the "you may kiss the bride" tidbit. My plan works, if you consider Riku's weaknesses into play.

???: Aw, I wanted to marry Kairi.

DEATHBRINGER: You get to be "Best Man". And Stealth Sneak and Kurt Zisa will tire all those other idiots out so much that they will be forced to watch. Besides, this log cabin's between Nevada and Utah.

???: Works for me. So, where are they?

DEATHBRINGER: Destiny Islands. Near the beach.

???: Good. Thanks boss.

{The figure steps out of the shadows, revealing himself to be CC. He uses a corridor of darkness to get out of here}

DEATHBRINGER: Why he is helping me I do not know. I probably did him a favor a while ago. Man, I've got odd memory problems.

{OOC: Should I just cut to Destiney Islands, or wait?}

{OOC: Cut to Destiny Islands please.}

{On Destiney Islands, Riku is carrying some large logs on his shoulder. Kairi is with him, writing something down}

KAIRI: Bring firewood to Uncle Herman, check. Well, that's it. You want to do anything.

{Before Riku says anything, CC comes out in his unmorphed form.}

CC: Quick, Sora's in huge trouble.

RIKU: And why should we believe you?

CC: Just follow me. I'll tell you everything when we get there.

{Riku and Kairi relucantly follow CC through the corridor to darkness. They end up in Deathbringer's log cabin. Deathbringer holds to the Genie's lamp, and two Neoshadow Heartless put Riku in an electric chair.}

DEATHBRINGER: Too easy. Piece of cake!

{Deathbringer rubs the lamp. Genie pops out.}

GENIE: Wait, what did you do to Sephiroth?

DEATHBRINGER: Demon Omega's busy giving him the beating of a lifetime. You're mine now.

GENIE: {reluctantly} Okay, 3 wishes and then I'm out like a light.

DEATHBRINGER: First wish: bring all characters to a church in Las Vegas. Every single one.

{The setting changes to a church in Las Vegas. Everyone is fixed to this setting.}

DEATHBRINGER: Wish numero dos is that Kairi and I get engaged.

{Genie sighs, giving Kairi a ring on her middle finger}

DEATHBRINGER: As for wish 3, you're to be the wedding's cook. You must make an elegant cake.

{Pan to Kairi, her eyes are hypnotized. Then suddenly, CC attacks Deathbringer with a Bond of Flame keyblade}

CC: Heh, you thought I was really working with you?

{Deathbringer sighs and an illusion of Ansem squares off with CC}

DEATHBRINGER: Genie, take Kairi with you. The bride must inform you on how the cake shall be...

CC: This is the best you can come up with? Ansem. Riku, I'll get you and Kairi out of here.

{CC now starts fighting with Ansem's illusion.}

DEATHBRINGER: Nah, I'd have you confined to a seat, being served McDonald's for the rest of your life as a means of super-sizing you to death.

{CC then finishes off the illusion. He's now running up to Deathbringer, and taking the keyblade. and attacking him with it. Deathbringer grins as he throws venomous snakes at CC's face.}

DEATHBRINGER: The more venom injected into you, the closer you are to death. And they're all from Egypt, so these snakes are the best of the best! And if that doesn't kill you... {summons an illusion of Cloud} ... he will.

{Deathbringer walks offscreen, sipping cappucino.}

{CC's running around screaming. He then scrapes them off his face with the keyblade, but know he has a huge cut on his face. He then finishes the Cloud clone with some fire. He now runs to find Death bringer. When he does,He then takes the keyblade, and transforms it into a guitar.}

CC: ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?

{Suddenly, Deathbringer is now in a swirling circle of CC's. There is a unusual song playing.}

CC: This is your last chance to give up before I throw you in the cave of wonders.

DEATHBRINGER: Until the wedding is over, the Cave of Wonders' mouth is shut. And remember what I said?

{Deathbringer chains CC to a wall, and summons a Neoshadow which force feeds CC McDonald's quarter pounders. His Keyblade is confiscated}

DEATHBRINGER: Enjoy your heart stopping, reckless Keyblade-wielder!

{Deathbringer walks to the inside of the weddingplace. Stealth Sneak is playing Psychobilly Freakout on the organ with Trickmaster on drums. The Blizzard Lord provides bass.}

{Suddenly, the shackles starts burning and CC falls to the ground. He then attacks Neoshadow with his bare hands. CC then goes looking for Riku, who is having a front-row seat in the electric chair.}

RIKU: Errgh, it's bad enough a Heartless is marrying Kairi... why did I let this happen?

DEATHBRINGER: Relax. The pain doesn't begin until the "Here Comes the Bride" piece begins. For now, sit back and think back on your life.

{CC runs up and rams his guitar into the electric chair, breaking it}

CC: DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN!

{CC is now attacking the band. After enough damage has been done to disturb the peace, Blizzard Lord freezes CC and gets a freezer, trapping him there.}

BLIZZARD LORD: Ugh, that guy's causing promblems. Deathbringer, can I kill him?

DEATHBRINGER: He'll die of hypothermia if he stays in the freezer. So you've done the job already.

BLIZZARD LORD: Thanks. Can you delay the wedding three hours so we can repair our instruments? Weddings ain't perfect without a good organ.

DEATHBRINGER: Yea, but hurry. All other characters are confined to this area, however.

{Blizzard Lord teleports to a nearby instrument store.}

{Meanwhile, CC is in the freezer}

CC: {Teeth Chattering} How'd I get myself into this. I couldv'e just went to Deathbringer. Wait. Riku said he's a heartless, so... BINGO!

{Cut back. Sephiroth runs in, and stabs Deathbringer right in the back, with a dagger.}

SEPHIROTH: Execute Sephiroth? You're the worst commander ever.

{Pan back, to reveal Omega, swinging the keys with his hands. Sephiroth then, grabs the lamp, that is on a table.}

SEPHIROTH: Congratulations. You have given me, 3 more wishes.

{The Ground starts to crack, and the fires of hell start coming through. Hades and SP Satan come through.}

HADES: STOP THIS TRAVESTY AT ONCE!!

SP SATAN: Yeah.. Stop that.

{The fires of hell manage to unfreeze CC}

CC: Did I miss anything?

HADES: Quick FYI. We're all waiting for this Heartless and Kairi to be wed. I'm guessin' this guy wants to be King of Hearts. Anyway, there's a barrier around the place making any non-me person unable to leave until the wedding is over.

BS SATAN: What a load o' rubbish. Anyway, I'd take a look at Riku.

{Pan to Riku getting electrocuted by Deathbringer, who has a hole in his back}

DEATHBRINGER: Aha! The flameman is right! Now be confined to your seats and watch the wedding!

{Everyone is now chained to a seat, save for Genie, who has a cake, and Kairi.}

GENIE: Hey, Kairi! Where do you want the cake!

KAIRI: On that table over to the far left corner. After the wedding everyone's gonna be hungry, so please cook more delights.

GENIE: Right away, ma'am! {Genie salutes Kairi and runs off}

CC: Hey, Sephiroth, I gots an idea. Since this guys a heartless, I could use Rikus keyblade to kill him.

SEPHIROTH: Good idea.. But to entertain the crowd, I'll tell you all the story of my epic escape.

{Flashback Happens, while Sephiroth narrates.}

SEPHIROTH: See, when you wired those things in Omegas brain, Deathbringer had accidentally given him details of his creation. Knowing it wasn't me who created him, and knowing that deathbringer had no knowlage that Omega got his memory back, he played along, and pretended to kill me. Also, locked with me, was Carpet. Shortly after you left, we snuck out, using Omega's key, and flew this distance, using carpet. Also, to explain Omega's creator, his creator was my evil duplicate, or more specifically, my Heartless. Omega's first objective, was to kill the first Chaos, but when he had disappeared mysterially, the goal was erased from his mind, and left him clueless on everything.

{Flashback Ends.}

SEPHIROTH: And that was my story, explaining a lot. Now, let's go with CC's plan.

{CC then finds Riku's Oblivion keyblade, since he had his Bond of Flames keyblade taken}

CC: Ready Sephiroth?

SEPHIROTH: Wait.. {Picks up the sword that FF7 Sephiroth gave to HST, takes the materia from it, and puts it in the keyblade.} There. You now have, Ultima, Knights of The Round, The Strongest version of all the element spells, and, Chocomog. Or Fat Chocobo if you're lucky to get him.

CC: Thanks. Now, CHAAAAAAARGE!!!!! {Attacks Deathbringer with the keyblade and all the stuff put Sephiroth put in it.}

DEATHBRINGER: You know that sadists enjoy pain, right? So by packing a whallop on me, it feels like a Curaga on marijuana to me.

CC: SHOULDN'T YOU BE DEAD BY NOW! I'VE SWIPED YOU WITH A KEYBLADE 3 FRICKIN' TIMES AND YOU STILL AINT DEAD!

{Alphamon comes out of nowhere with a giant sword and slices Deathbringer to pieces.}

ALPHAMON: Holy Blade Gradalpha!

{CC starts shaking with anger.}

CC: WHY DOES THAT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?! I'm out of here.

{CC Grabs his Bond of Flames keyblade and walks out the church, but then walks back in}

CC: Hmm, since Deathbringer is gone, I guess I could marry Kairi for him.

ALPHAMON: Hold it!

{CC turns around, and Alphamon punches CC. CC flies aback into the church.}

SEPHIROTH: You know, Deathbringer is right there, regenerating. REGENERATING!? ONLY US SHAROTH DUDES CAN DO THAT!

ALPHAMON: Holy Blade Gradalpha changes it's element to succesfully kill the target. If he regenerates, he'll only cripple in death.

SEPHIROTH: Can I ask you something? Why does every digimon have the word -mon at the end?

CC: Hey Sephiroth, I'ma go ask Kairi if I can marry her. Keep Alphamon under control.

ALPHAMON: Don't believe him, Sephiroth! He's just a villain!

SEPHIROTH: Don't worry. Watch.

{It shows CC asking Kairi to marry him, in which she gives him a big slap around the face, leaving a huge red mark.}

SEPHIROTH: See.

{Alphamon dissolves back into Chaos.}

CHAOS: You don't understand!

SEPHIROTH: I don't see him doing anything.

CHAOS: No, he freed-

{Just then, the ground starts to rumble, and Demon Adel appears with Joseph in his hand.}

CHAOS: That!

DEMON ADEL: I finally have you, father!

OMEGA: Wait... is this the Adel I've been told about?

{Genesis comes in the same way Adel did.}

GENESIS: Yep. Adel. Son of Chaos. Your cousin kinda.

SEPHIROTH: Wha?!

GENESIS: Dad, he's a clone of Chaos, you, Znex, and others, so he's kinda your brother.

OMEGA: I need no family.

DEMON ADEL: Father, You will pay for every last injustice you hath served!

CHAOS: Sephiroth, go! I'll hold him off!

SEPHIROTH: {Points at barrier.} We can't go. We're trapped.

OMEGA: What do I do Brothers?

SEPHIROTH: Don't call us that. You're our clone. Our fusion clone.

GENESIS: I'm happy to call you uncle Omega.

OMEGA: Yay!

SEPHIROTH: Oh god. Lavos won't be pleased.

{Noxigar walks onscreen}

NOXIGAR: Did I miss much?

CHAOS: If you get everyone to a safe parameter of the chapel, no.

SEPHIROTH: Where is Lavos, anyway?

{Cut to the seats, where everyone is still. Lavos is playing music through speakers. Lavos and everyone there are singing.}

EVERYONE: {singing} Now with passion in our eyes
There's no way we could disguise it secretly
So we take each other's hand
'Cause we seem to understand the urgency

{One of Demon Adel's fireballs blasts the speakers, and gives a minor shock to everyone sitting down and singing. Cut to Twilight Town. Namine is there, sipping on cappucino. She lays her pencil down and goes elsewhere. Noxi picks it up, DiZ next to him.}

DiZ: Hmm... so this is Namine's Wikihood?

NOXIGAR: Yup.

DiZ: Am I supposed to be impressed that there's no climax to this episode sketch?

NOXIGAR: Episode not done. Now let me do some editing here...

{Suddenly, everyone goes to a seat. Deathbringer and Kairi are up on the altar podium, in bride and groom outfits. Genie is reading his notecard.}

SEPHIROTH: STOP THIS AT ONCE DEATHBRINGER! {Points a Golden Gun at him.}

GENIE: {dresses up as a hippie} Hey man, chill. Go with the flow.

SEPHIROTH: Genie. You know, you're out of his control, and I have the lamp. {Holds it up.}

GENIE: {Gets all happy} Really!? You do!? YIPPIE!!! {Goes into normal clothes, and fireworks happen.}

{Dr. Phil walks onscreen}

DR. PHIL: You know, elopin' is against the law...

SEPHIROTH: {Shoots him with the golden gun, and kills him with 1 shot.}

{DiZ arrives onscreen}

DiZ: I came for laughs. Anyway, am I late?

SILVER: Technically not. All characters are supposed to be here to see someone get royally crowned as "King of Hearts".

{Cut to Deathbringer and Kairi. Blizzard Lord is bishop}

BLIZZARD LORD: Alright. Anyone who doesn't think these two are hot soulmates, speak now or forever hold your peace!

{Cut back.}

{OOC:The course of reality=not affected right now. I wanted something major to happen right now.}

DEMON ADEL: Father, your little friend here will meet a grim fate if you do not surrender!

CHAOS:' Give him up!

{Chaos turns into Alphamon.}

DEMON ADEL: Please. You think that can beat me?

{Cut back again.}

FF7 SEPHIROTH: Me! And I will point out some reasons. 1. Kairi is underage, as she is 16, and Deathbringer clearly is over 18. 2. It's a forced marriage, and is illegal. 3. Kairi was destined to be with Sora. 4. It is not a hot couple, it is creepy. and 5. Kairi is being mind controlled. Let Kaa the snake explain.

KAA: It'ssss true... I've mind controlled a lot of people in my time. Including this little boy named Mowgili.

DAXTER: Plus, it's downright creepy!

DEATHBRINGER: FYI, Heartlesses don't age.

FF7 SEPHIROTH: I am quite aware of that. But Noxigar, the man you are based on, or shall I say, his Person, is x < 18, and therefore, that reflects onto both of you.

{Cut back, Where Adel and Alphamon are fighting. Alphamon attempts to Hit Demon Adel with His holy Blade, but Adel deflects it. Then, Adel cracks Alphamon's Armor, then forces him down. Alphamon's digital data is visible, and Adel begins to steal it. Quickly cut back to the altenate reality.}

BLIZZARD LORD: Well, that's too bad. Now, I-

{Quickly cut back to Alphamon and Adel, Alphamon is extending his arm out to Joseph, and creating a green ball of energy, then cut back.}

BLIZZARD LORD: Pornounce you man-

{Cut back again. The green ball launches towards Joseph. Before it can get back, it cuts again.}

BLIZZARD LORD: and Wi-

{Back in Twilight Town, Naime's book's spine snaps, and all the pages come flying out. In the real reality, Everyone is back at the Chapel before the rewrite. Aplhamon's Armor is destroyed and empty. Adel is being held by Joseph, knocked out.}

JOSEPH: Where did you all go? What happened to Deathbringer?

VOICE: Here comes a daredevil!

{Frodo Baggins appears.}

NOXIGAR: If the plot couldn't get any more convoluted, you get to fight Frodo Baggins.

JOSEPH: Very funny. Now, when I finish the fight, what should we do?

{Cut back. Just about when Blizzard Lord finishes, FF7 Sephiroth Holds it up by singing.}

FF7 SEPHIROTH: {singing} As He Came Into The Window
It Was The Sound Of A Crescendo
He Came Into Her Apartment
He Left The Bloodstains On The Carpet
She Ran Underneath The Table
He Could See She Was Unable
So She Ran Into The Bedroom
She Was Struck Down, It Was Her Doom!

{OOC: The reality that was taking place then was broken. We're back to normal. Hence the Alphamon remains and Joseph. The wedding never happened, and Deathbringer is still in pieces.}

NOXIGAR: So you ruin the wedding via Michael Jackson? Oh well. We took out the final boss, albeit using odd methods.

{Then, something odd blasts through the speakers.}

VOICE 1: How ya' doin' Bernie?

VOICE 2: Oy vey, Oy vey!

VOICE 1: How ya' doin' Bernie?

VOICE 2: Oy vey, Oy vey!

{Then, CC walks in.}

CC: And all the goiyum say I'm pretty fly for a rabbi!

{CC then starts dancin' wildly}

CC: Meccha leca hi
Meccha hiney hiney ho

Our temples had it's fair share
of rabbis in the past
but most of them were nudniks
and nun of 'em would last
But this new one is pretty kosher
I think he'll do the trick
boy this guy, he really knows his schtik!

{Joseph takes out his keyblades and repeatedly slashes CC. Adel wakes up from pretending and leaves the chapel.}

JOSEPH: {inbetween hits} Don't-Ever-Sing-Inscrimintaing-Religiously-Offensive-Songs-By-people-I-Hate-Ever-Again!

CC: {Back up} Sorry 'bout that folks. Anyway...

{A jazzy tune hits the speakers}

CC:All I do is grunt and groan
Hurts me to walk anywhere
Went to see my physician, Dr. Jones
He took my trousers off, told me to cough
Doctor says there ain't nothin' to discuss
He tells me any day I might have to wear a truss

Living with a hernia, ow
All the time, such aggravation
Living with a hernia
Gonna be my ruination
Living with a hernia
Got to have an operation
Feel so old, ow

{A giant ray of fire incinerates everything except CC. Sephiroth guides the fire right at CC, and singes him.}

SEPHIROTH: Well, this has cleared up a lot. Now it's my turn to shine!

{The Episode ends, with Sephiroth giving a thumbs up, and everyone behind him looking unamused.}