(even if you aren't vegan)
Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Aruseus Emails/catchphrase
Aruseus thinks of a catchphrase. ZIPPYMAIL CROSSOVER!
NACHOMAN: HEY SKUB. HEY. SKUB HEY. HEY SKUB GET A LOAD OF THIS
SKUB: FUCK YOU
Cast {in order of appearance}: Aruseus, Vector Strong Bad {easter egg} Tom, Coach Z, Zippy, Homestar {easter egg}
Places: Computer Room, The Field, Zippy's Bedroom
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: January 28th, 2007
Transcript
ARUSEUS: {while typing "run_arumail.exe", to the tune pf
NACHOMAN: pfffffff
the Homestar Runner theme song}: Aaaaaaaa-ruuuuu-seee-us.
subject: phraseAruses,
- Zi- I mean Mitch
You need a catchphrase.
ARUSEUS: Aw great. An email that will make my head explode...from thinking too much.
NACHOMAN: or simply thinking at all HAHAHAthe joke is that you're dumb
{clears screen}
ARUSEUS: {typing} Well, Zimitichi, I have no idea what my catchphrase would be. I think I'll have to
SKUB: "talk to homestar charaters, UGH they can't even split in half"
ask some people. {leaves}
{Cut to the field, Tom is there with Coach Z}
TOM: So I was telling him about how wrong it is to auction my Shploitz and-
NACHOMAN: hah what kind of crazy conversation were they ahving??? there
SKUB: prahaps we'll never know
{Aruseus walks in}
ARUSEUS: Hey guys. Do any of you two know of something I could use as a catchphrase?
NACHOMAN: "if I give you something will you please leave"
TOM: No, not really.
ARUSEUS: Carp. I mean crap!
SKUB: This show is crappie
NACHOMAN: That was obtuse as shit.
SKUB: SHUT UP YOU BAG OF MILK
What about you, Coach?
COACH Z: Sorry, man! I'm drawering a blornk!
NACHOMAN: Or'm Corch Zor!!!! Soriourslor!!!
SKUB: Well I know who I'm handing Coach Z Emails off to
ARUSEUS: Double carp.
{Aruseus walks off, Cut back to Lappy.}
ARUSEUS: Guh-blargh. I talked to everyone and no good ideas. Wait. there is another...
TOM: Aruseus, I'm going to the li-berry to pick up a book for Lyle. I think Zippy's there.
SKUB: Dammit no don't drag me- i mean my old shit characte rinto this
ARUSEUS: Thats it! {runs out}
{Cut to Zippy's Bedroom}
ZIPPY: What does my name mean? Come on... speak to me... wait, I know! ... Wait, no.
{Aruseus walks in.}
NACHOMAN: Aruseus closes the door slowly behind him, then pushes it in hard to make sure it's shut for sure. He slowly approaches Zippy, his hands in his pockets, nonchalant.
"Aruseus, what are you doing?" Zippy asked, a slight bit of panic in his voice.
"Zippy..." Aruseus began, but his voice trailed off as he stared into that beautiful platypus's eyes. He sat down beside him on the bed as Zippy fidgeted uncomfortably.
"Aruseus, no.. not now" Zippy muttered. "I can't.."
Aruseus placed his hand suddenly on Zippy's leg. He drew circles with his fingers on the purple one's soft skin. He wanted more. Zippy wanted something. He didn't know what.
"No..." Zippy began, but faded out as Aruseus' hand began inching towards his middle section. He took a big gulp. He wanted this to stop. But he couldn't bring his body to move, he couldn't bring his muscles to contract and send him running. But then, he thought, what would Aruseus do to him if he tried to leave. He remembered last time Ryan had done this. Zippy had tried escaping before but was grabbed quickly and reeled in for a... shall we say 'bout of punishment'.
And then Aruseus grabbed him. The sensation of the hand on his member seemed to flip a switch for the platypus. All the thoughts of fear and desires to recoil suddenly shot away as his mind was washed in pleasure.
He wanted more. And he knew what he wanted.
Zippy reached for Aruseus' crotch. It was the first time he had ever tried something like this, and he was excited. He was worried. He was horny. And he was surprised to learn that the tip of Aruseus' penis was a very specific shade of gray.
SKUB: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
ARUSEUS: Hi, Zippy!
ZIPPY: Why are you in my house?
ARUSEUS: Don't ask.
NACHOMAN: hey good one. I should try saying that the next time I break into someone's house
Well, now that the greeting's out of the way... can you do my taxes?
SKUB: Tax humor for the adults in the crowd
ZIPPY: No.
ARUSEUS: Fine. Can you do my homework, then?
ZIPPY: You have homework?
{Suddenly, Zippy notices a L.U.R.N. shirt on Aruseus.}
ZIPPY: Oh.
ARUSEUS: Can you believe it?
ZIPPY: Surprisingly, yes.
NACHOMAN: even back in the day skub knew ryan was an enormous tard
SKUB: ^
Now, why are you really here?
ARUSEUS: I just got a really stupid email about my catchphrase. Can you give me any ideas?
ZIPPY: ... How about, "wiggy jiggy?"
NACHOMAN: pffffffffBAAAHAAHA
SKUB: I'M GOING TO THROW UP
ARUSEUS: Nah.
ZIPPY: I see. Listen, I too got a stupid email about my name. What would you do in this situation?
ARUSEUS: Now, usually I'd toss macademia nuts at that creepy green bird that keeps hanging around your house, but in this situation... well, I'd still toss nuts at that bird.
NACHOMAN: rAnDom
SKUB: I have Arusperger's shut up
ZIPPY: That green bird is Kooky.
ARUSEUS: Oh, no wonder it kept yelling at me. Did- did you notice we're completely straying from the topic at hand?
ZIPPY: Yes. Yes I did. Frankly, I think every Zippy Email should be like this. In fact, why not change the name of the show to "Zippy and Aruseus's Funtime Jamboree?"
NACHOMAN: i am saving this forever
SKUB: nachoman i am completely serious i will post all 200 plus episodes of blue ninja to tumblr
ARUSEUS: Because that name sucks and I hate it.
ZIPPY: Ah. Now, shouldn't we be ending the email already? The email that's a sorry excuse of an email?
SKUB: Aruseus Emails: "The Email That's A Sorry Excuse Of An Email"!!!
ARUSEUS: Sure.
{The Paper comes down.}
ARUSEUS: Hey! The e-mail is not over yet!
ZIPPY: Um...That's the end of MY email.
NACHOMAN: paper, you whore! you'll come down for anyone!
ARUSEUS: Oh. {Aruseus all of a sudden has a shocked look on his face} Zippy?
ZIPPY: What?
ARUSEUS: I think I just pulled a crossover.
NACHOMAN: is that what the kids are calling it these days
ZIPPY: Riiiiight...
ARUSEUS: {scared} AHH!
SKUB: "GET A MEDIC!!!!!!" "DON'T TOUCH THE INTESTINES"
ZIPPY: Calm down, man.
ARUSEUS: Okay. Well, I better go finish my email. {Runs out}
ZIPPY: Whatever.
NACHOMAN: This concludes the exciting and memorable Zippy/Aruseus crossover! Thanks for watching!
SKUB: I'm dead inside.
{Cut back to Lappy}
ARUSEUS: {typing} So sorry, Mitchy. I don't have a catchphrase. So bye.
NACHOMAN: how about, "I am the cop-out King"?
{The Paper comes down}
Easter Eggs
- Wait about five seconds for an extra scene.
{Zoom out, Aruseus is still in a L.U.R.N. shirt, Tom walks in}'
TOM: Why are you wearing that?
ARUSEUS: Dunno. One second I was shirtless and ran past this white pole and I had this shirt on.
SKUB: A man walks into a white pole--stop me if you heard this one--
NACHOMAN: I'm stopping you.
- Click on Tom after the easter egg to see another scene.
{Cut to The Field, Homestar is standing there, angry and naked}
HOMESTAR: Okay, who stole my L.U.R.N. shirt?
- Click on Aruseus when he says carp to make a carp appear onscreen.
- Click on Aruseus when he says double carp to make two carps apear.
SKUB: LIKE CRAP BUT CARP. GET IT.
- Clicking on Aruseus when he says, "An email that will make my head explode" will make VectorBad appear on his Lappy with, "ITS ASPLODE." under him.
- Click on Aruseus after the email to see the logo for Zippy and Aruseus' Funtime Jamboree.
ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} Zippy and Aruseus' Funtime Jamboree! Now weekdays at 3:00 on 4Wimps!
CHILDREN: {singing voiceover} Zippy and Aruseus' Funtime Jamboree!
ARUSEUS: {voiceover, musically} Because the name sucks and I hate it!
SKUB: The feeling is mutual!!!!!!!
Fun Facts
- The transcript from Zippy's bedroom and the first paper coming down is from Zippy Email name
- Tom mentioning his Shploitz game being auctioned is a reference to Foxx's Answering Machine.
- This is another 4Wimps reference.
SKUB: NachoMan I literally cannot go on if this kind of shit keeps popping up.
NACHOMAN: Not my fault you were a shitty kid!
SKUB: NOT MY FAULT BLUE NINJA IS SO STUPID THAT I HAD TO BRING IT UP IN IRC