Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Space-Aged Stupidity/eps/2

Summary

The Garlics come, and wreak havok on everyone.

BLUEBRY: and their breath

Transcript

{Cut to the meeting room. Chaos is there, showing a new experiment.}

SEPHIROTH: Come on! Don't keep us waiting! Show us!

{The Spart comes in, holding a mirror, and coming his hair

NACHOMAN: you should probably go see a doctor about that

at the same time.}

BLUEBRY: EYYYY

THE SPART: Meh. It's probably a mutated rat, or something.

CHAOS: Well, first I have an announcement. We successfully made it through the tachyon belt! Nobody died, but Sephiroth's curry was absorbed into the atmosphere upon impact, so I used a hologram generator to make it look like it's still there. By the way, has anyone seen CC?

{Cut to CC's robot, projecting an image of Currey instead of CC.}

CHAOS: Oh, that's right. Now, I will show you my latest invention!

{Chaos holds up a set of earphones.}

NACHOMAN: "They're like normal headphones, but they block out stupidity!"
SKUB: Do they work?
NACHOMAN: What?
SKUB: I said, do they work.
NACHOMAN: Does anyone have any questions?
SKUB: oh you.....
{nachoman and skub tapdance their way stage left}

CHAOS: I made them to be compatable with the boombox I found while we where traveling the belt. That's sorta how we lost the curry.

SEPHIROTH: We lost.. the curry? {Starts to cry.}

NACHOMAN: you poor, poor gimmicky character

{K-Bot HR'D (robot Kirbychu HR'D) enters.}

K-BOT: {in a low pitched, monotone voice} Greetings. I have just mostly recovered from a serious system error. The error caused 3 of the 7 connections between my main system and the chip that controls my personality to fry, so I dis-connected the chip to avoid a system failure. Repair would be advised.

THE SPART: Eek. I don't know anything about this droid mambo jambo.

K-BOT: All you must do is remove the panel between my noise receptors (ears), replace the rotted wires, hook the dangling plug into the only open outlet in my main receptor, put the panel back in place, and reboot me. It's quite simple.

NACHOMAN: yeah, simple, you dumbshit

{Another robot, this time actually showing CC, walks up to the imposter}

CC: Yeah, who's the wise guy?

NACHOMAN: ah a wise guy eh im a ruff em up a bit

{Userunknown walks in.He is holding his helmet and missing his cyborg eye}

USERUNKNOWN:Chaos!!!!Give me my cyborg eye back!

BLUEBRY: monkey in the middle monkey in the middle

{A nearby closet opens, and GR-01 walks out dazedly.}

GR-01: Statement: OW! That hurt!

BLUEBRY: "Question: Is it still St. Patrick's?"

USERUNKNOWN:So?It hurts only having one eye!Who took my cyborg eye?!?

GR-01: I think I saw it in the closet I just came out of.

BLUEBRY: i fully support you

USERUNKNOWN:Pass it to me, will you?

{GR-01 goes back into the closet and comes out with a robotic eye. He gives it to Userunknown.}

USERUNKNOWN:{Puts the eye back in}Thanks.What's the big news?

GR-01: Statement: I don't think there is any big news. Just that we lost that strange meatbag food--I mean, strange human food. Stupid clause...

USERUNKNOWN:Then why did you guys wake me up?

GR-01: Statement: Erm...we could.

NACHOMAN: "man, it was sure a good idea to program our advanced robot to tell us which lingustic expression he was speaking in before each sentence. very useful!"

{Cut to the opening. Fade in on the bridge where GIM2 is looking at the engine. The words "Attack of the Garlics" fade in down the bottom, then fade back out.}

GIM2: That attack we got into with those strange aliens cost us quite a bit. It'll take us a while to get this up and running again.

{Userunknown walks in wearing full armour.}

USERUNKNOWN: Try kicking it.

GIM2: That'll just damage it more. {takes out a sonic screwdriver and starts fixing it}

{On the Main computer screen, a garlic shaped Dalek appears.}

GARLIC: Greetings Mortals! We are the Garlics! We we ANNIHILATE YOU!! ANNIHILATE! ANNIHILATE!

USERUNKNOWN:No thank you.I'll put you in for next blursday.

NACHOMAN: booooooo booooooooooooooo

Today the scottish space program is after us.

CHAOS: It says here the Swedish space program is after us today.

BLUEBRY: "Soon Volvos will go to space!!!"

Scottish is tomorrow.

GARLIC: It is not an option. We are boarding your ship.

{The Garlics come in, and start spraying foul odours everywhere. Everyone starts choking.}

GARLIC: Feel the wrath of our Garlic breath.

{One of the Wibbles hops on the first Garlic that Came in. Chaos also gets on the floor and begins to eat the Garlic with the Wibble.}

GARLIC: ANNIHILATE!!! {Shoots Chaos with a Red Hot Lazerbeam.}

{Suddenly, the computer screen changes to Guffaw.}

NACHOMAN: does anyone know how to properly introduce characters these days

GUFFAW: Hello, there. I see you have some visitors.

GARLIC: Shut your Always Open Mouth you horrible excuse for a laugh.

CHAOS: Go! Disease Super-Cure!

{Joseph throws a chicken wing with Ipod headphones in it. It plays "Time After Time" when it hits the Garlic.}

CHAOS: {To the song} do-do-doo, do-do-doo, do-do-dunh-dunh-doo, Time After Time!

{GR-01 charges in.}

GR-01: DIE, VEGGIEBAGS!

{GR-01's right arm turns into a bazooka and he bazooks the lot of Garlics.}

{skub begins to spit up bile and entire fruit baskets}

{The smoke clears, to reveal that the Garlics ate the Rockets.}

GARLIC: Ammo is a gourmet food on our planet. Now it's out turn. {Shoots everyone with a freeze beam, and freezes them.}

NACHOMAN: A freeze beam that freezes? Golly, I've seen it all now!

{Userunknown armor heats up and melts the ice}

USERUNKNOWN:Hey, look! The swedes!

{He shoots the garlics with pasta}

GARLIC: Dangit we are not Swedish! We aren't even from Earth! ...Well, Bob here, has some Italian DNA, but that's it.

NACHOMAN: his double helix is in the mob

USERUNKNOWN:No, I mean the swedes in the spaceship behind your spaceship.

GARLIC: .... {Cut to the Garlic's Spaceship. It shoots lots of Red Beams, and destroys all the spaceships. Cut back.} Not anymore.

USERUNKNOWN:Look!More of them!{Points behind the garlics and shoots them with boiling water when they turn around}

GARLIC: Boiling water? How about BLAZING FIRE!!! {Flame Throwers come up, and they set userunknown on fire.}

USERUNKNOWN:Uhhh...I'm wearing armor.It is kinda fire proof.{Sets the garlics on fire}

NACHOMAN: You don't have to have a fight scene you know. Nobody's forcing you to write this. Just stop.

GARLIC: Fool. If we're not fireproof, while could we shoot fire! Think again!

NACHOMAN: If for English first language mine is, you would be incorrect!

{Starts to shoot Userunknown with Blazing Hot Lazer Beams, which dent the armour.} Why do people think we're made of garlic? WE'RE JUST SHAPED LIKE ONE!!

BLUEBRY: the discrimination your people have faced...

K-BOT HR'D: {inhales a garlic, speaks normal} Not bad. It could use some cheese and maybe a hint of basil just for that little kick. I'll be right back!

{K-Bot runs off. He comes back a few minutes later with basil powder and melted cheese sauce. He pours both all over the garlics and eats them.}

K-Bot HR'D: I KNEW basil would help! {burps}

NACHOMAN: rude

USERUNKNOWN:Weird.They thought denting my armor would help?{Kills a huger amount of garlics}

{More Garlics come.}

GARLIC: There is no use in killing us. There are over 100000 Billion of us, in this Galaxy alone. Oh yeah.. Did anyone lose a tank of Curry? {Brings in a Large Tank of Curry. Sephiroth rushes to it in Happiness.}

NACHOMAN: so um are they trying to kill these space fags or are they just trying to return their curry someone help me out here

SEPHIROTH: My Curry! YAY!!!

GARLIC: Oh this is useless. Let's go guys.

{They all leave and fly away in their Spaceship.}

USERUNKNOWN:Wow.That Dr.Who guy was right.

NACHOMAN: booooooooooooooo

SEPHIROTH: Let's Celebrate. WITH CURRY!!!

{The episode ends, with everyone at the table, eating curry.}

GUFFAW: Wow, I wish I had a digestive system.

BLUEBRY: theyre p. sweet