RiffText/NukeNoid/3

{cut to the large red room from the final scene in the last episode.}

BLUEBRY BULLETS: Heinrich! I should've known you were behind all this...

HEINRICH: Don't be too hard on yourself, you have a lot of enemies!

NUCLEAR NOID: Cut the crap, Heiny.

NOXIGAR: Guess it's time for the plot to ketchup.

BROOKS JAXXON: Yeah, just give us Mu.

{Noxigar moos like a cow.}

{Charging Chwoka and Greaser come running into the room, huffing and puffing.}

CHARGING CHWOKA: Hey guys, sorry we're late, we were in the vents and then there was this whole-

GREASER: Who's the slimy guy?

HEINRICH: Ahh, I see the Armageddon Team has picked up a new member! I was wondering when you were going to replace the dead one...

GREASER: Dead one?

NOXIGAR: Kid, you were only promoted from K.P. because someone in the platoon died.

NUCLEAR NOID: You shut your mouth!

HEINRICH: Is that anger I sense? Crying for your war buddy?

CHARGING CHWOKA: Don't go there. I even remember that.

BLUEBRY BULLETS: I swear to God, if you mention-

HEINRICH: What? Mention what? Your dead buddy?

NOXIGAR: OH SHIT SON, IT'S ON!

{Bluebry Bullets springs forward, slashing with his fists at Heinrich. He picks him up by the collar and throws him into a wall. Something cracks. Heinrich's wounds slowly heal themselves, and he pops his head into place. He then gets up.}

HEINRICH: Are we done with the games yet? I really don't think your friend Mu is enjoying his current, ah, situation.

DINOMYTE: You're telling me where Ma is right now or I will snap your face in four pieces!

NOXIGAR: "Ma, Ma! Where's my Pa?"

HEINRICH: Why waste your time? Although you are very good at it...

NACHO: Just tell us where Mu is, Heinrich, and you're free to go.

HEINRICH: I didn't think you negotiated with terrorists!

NOXIGAR: Implying they have much of a choice given the scenario.

BROOKS JAXXON: The terrorist is right, Nacho, we don't negotiate with terrorists.

HEINRICH: There's still an annoying protocol guy? I thought I killed him...oh well, another day.

NACHO: Listen, Brooks. I've been knee deep in Germans for 6 hours, and I am just sick of it. I'm getting too old for this!

HEINRICH: {chuckles} And the catchphrases! You really are all quite predictable.

NOXIGAR: Ba dum tish!

DANZAL: Yah? Vell, I'm predictinz that youz vill be going to Hell when we're through.

BROOKS JAXXON: Now that's a notion I can get behind!

HEINRICH: All of you, just a bunch of walking cliches!

NOXIGAR: Note-to-self: In a crappy movie, always root for the antagonists because they are well-written where the protagonist isn't.

NACHO: Hey, Mr. Gruber, you have no room to talk.

HEINRICH: Tick tock tick tock tick tock...

NOXIGAR: {singing} Tick tock, on the clock, but the party don't stop, no. Woah-ah-oh-ah-oh-OH, Woah-ah-oh-ah-oh-OH.

NUCLEAR NOID: Alright, everybody, shut it! Now, for the last time, where are you keeping Mu?

HEINRICH: Who ever said I was keeping your comrade prisoner?

DANZAL: It vaz very heavily implied.

NOXIGAR: Implying anything was implied.

CHARGING CHWOKA: Yeah, I don't think anybody didn't get that idea.

HEINRICH: Well, you know what happens when you make an assumption...

{Heinrich pulls out a small remote and presses a button on it. The center of the room explodes in flame, making wall of fire that divides them, snarling and flaring. Heinrich punches out the glass window.}

HEINRICH: You end up trapped in a collapsing building at your arch nemesis's hand!

NOXIGAR: No, no, no. That wasn't it! It was- Bah, who cares?

{Heinrich laughs and jumps from the window. Dinomyte starts cursing loudly.}

CHARGING CHWOKA: Yeah, I agree with the drunk, we're screwed unless somebody has a plan. Nacho, you're old, you have experience.

NACHO: You get experience from stuff that happens, and does it look like I've been dead in a burning building with the ceiling about to collapse on me?

BROOKS JAXXON: Noid, what's the plan?

NUCLEAR NOID: There isn't one. Stick it out. Anything we get, walk it off.

GREASER: You want us to just sit here and let the roof fall on us?!

NUCLEAR NOID: You got a better plan?

MU: {voice} I think I have one!

{Flame extinguisher shoots out at the flames and contains them. A helicopter hovers outside, with Mu (not visibly) inside.}

MU: Now everybody get their asses in before I have to bury you!

{Everybody runs inside the helicopter. Cut to the inside.}

BLUEBRY BULLETS: Mu, are you alright?

MU: Why wouldn't I be?

GREASER: The whole reason we went to Hell Plaza was to bust you out!

MU: I was never in Hell Plaza...who did you see?

BROOKS JAXXON: Heinrich.

MU: Dammit! I didn't think we were through with him. He must've hacked through the lines and sent a fake hologram to lure you here...

BLUEBRY BULLETS: I don't care how he did it, I just want him to pay. Be sure to look up cloning technology, we think the Germans might have some.

NOXIGAR: It was never explicitly asserted that they had cloning tech throughout the entire episode. Holograms are not clones!

MU: Sure thing.

{Mu opens a door and walks through. Greaser follows him. The tiny room is almost all a computer, which Mu is typing at.}

GREASER: Hey, Mu, got a question.

MU: Shoot.

GREASER: Was there another person on the team? Like, before me?

{Mu looks up from typing and swivels his chair around.}

MU: How do you know about Colt?

GREASER: Colt? Is that his name? Heinrich, that guy, he was talking about killing or torturing somebody and the others were really mad and-

MU: Listen. You don't need to know about Colt. You don't want to know about Colt. Tucker and Briggs quit because of what happened...you don't need it, rook.

GREASER: ...alright then.

NOXIGAR: Kid, sometimes minding your own business will save your ass.

{cut to the skyline of Los Angeles. A helicopter flies away from a crumbling and burning building, off into the horizon. A few seconds later, the words "THE END" come up on the screen.}

NOXIGAR: Only two more legit episodes to go. But, around four parts of this thing left. I'm going to go eat lunch and come back to watch the rest.