(even if you aren't vegan)
Brooks and Dylan: Adventures in the City!
Contents
Adventure 1
{Dylan is sitting on the couch reading the paper. Brooks comes in from the front door with several grocery bags.}
BROOKS: I'm ho-ome!
DYLAN: Did you get the milk?
BROOKS: ..whoops, I forgot.
DYLAN: GOD DAMMIT
the end
Adventure 2
{Dylan is using the bathroom in his and Brooks' apartment. He hears his front door open.}
BROOKS: Dylan? Where are you?
DYLAN: I'm taking the browns to the super bowl!
BROOKS: I get it!
{There is a pause}
BROOKS: Hey, is it okay if we get a cat?
DYLAN: Dude, bills are enough as is. We can't afford a cat right now.
CAT: meow
DYLAN: GOD DAMMIT
the end
Adventure 3
{Dylan and Brooks are looking at their new cat}
DYLAN: What should we name him?
BROOKS: I'm not sure...
{The cat barfs up some loose change.}
BROOKS: I got it! We'll name him Coin!
DYLAN: Hey yeah, that's a swell name!
COIN: baw
DYLAN: GOD DAMMIT
the end
Adventure 4 (FAN ADVENTURE)
{Dylan and Brooks are watching TV together. They are sitting in different chairs because they're not gay okay?}
DYLAN: Man, I haven't watched TV this exciting in a long time!
BROOKS: Yeah, this is pulse-pounding!
{Coin gets on Dylan's lap.}
DYLAN: Aww, hey Coin!
{Coin sits on the remote control and changes it to Oxygen.}
DYLAN: COIN GET OUT OF HERE
BROOKS: COIN GET OUT
{Coin leaves and cries.}
DYLAN: GOD DAMMIT
the end
Adventure 5
{Dylan walks in the apartment, with a loosened tie. He has a goofy grin on his face.}
DYLAN: Hey, Coin! That was a great first date I just went on! Where's Brooks? Broo-oks?
{silence}
DYLAN: Oh, well. Hey, my date is probably about to call me and invite me out for a second time! I can't wait!
{Dylan walks over to the phone and sits next to it. Time passes. One hour later, the phone rings.}
DYLAN: Yes! {picks up the phone} Hello?
BROOKS: I totaled the car.
DYLAN: GOD DAMMIT
the end
Adventure 6
{It is Sunday morning. Dylan is asleep in bed, and Brooks is all dressed up.}
BROOKS: We're going to church!
DYLAN: GOD DAMMIT
the end
Adventure 7
{A charming young man with a >:I face walks in the doorway. He is wearing gingham and Adidas shoes.}
bluebry: i think this sucks
{Dylan and Brooks look at each other.}
{They bukkake all over bluebry.}
bluebry: gosh darnit
Adventure 8
{NachoMan is at his computer. He logs on to the HRFWiki and sees that it is boring and populated exclusively by dirty thirdies. He shakes his head.}
NACHOMAN: Oh, wiki. Where did we go wrong?
{Super Sam barges in.}
SUPER SAM: Fear not, I have re-opened the WUW to escape the boringness of the HRFWiki!
NACHOMAN: G--- :)
Adventure 9 (FAN ADVENTURE)
{Brooks is sitting on the couch with a girl, watching TV. They are not holding hands that would be sinful. Dylan walks in with a video tape in his hand.}
DYLAN: Hey, Brooks! Who's the girl?
BROOKS: Oh, this is just my girlfriend!
DYLAN: Oh, lucky!
BROOKS: Hey, uh, Dylan, what were you going to do with that video tape?
DYLAN: Oh, I was just going to watch some home movies!
BROOKS: Well alrighty then, I bet my girlfriend wouldn't mind!
{Dylan puts on the tape.}
PBTC THE CHEAT: {reading email} Yes I know, what do you think of Family Guy? Crapfully yours, A penguin. Well, Pengy. To be honest, I have never ever seen or heard of Family Guy. Now, hang on. {The Cheat pulls out a cell phone}
BROOKS: GOD DAMMIT
{Suddenly the tape cuts to a video of baby Dylan in the tub.}
BROOKS' GIRLFRIEND: What a tiny baby penis!!
DYLAN: GOD DAMMIT
the end
