(even if you aren't vegan)
Thatkidsam.muffin/Senior Citizen Squad Issue 1 (One)
Overview
Senior Citizen Squad Issue #1
The humble first issue of Senior Citizen Squad. Not safe for babies under 2.
Cast (in order of appearance): Crustyskin, Youngster, Georgia Hick, The Fattest One
Places: Old Folks' Home
Date: April 23, 2005
Transcript
NARRARATOR THATKIDSAM: Senior Citizen Squad!! Crustyskin! {Crustyskin appears, the words "Sixteen boils!" appear next to him} Youngster! {40 years old!} Georgia Hick! {Pickup truck!} The Fattest One! {Magnitude 8.3!}
{All three are in the Old Folks' Home.}
GEORGIA HICK: What should we do today, hyuck!
YOUNGSTER: Let's go watch television!
CRUSTYSKIN: No.
THE FATTEST ONE: No.
GEORGIA HICK: No.
YOUNGSTER: I don't care! I'm going to watch! {Walks away}
THE FATTEST ONE: He's young... What are we going to do about him?
CRUSTYSKIN: Lecture him!
GEORGIA HICK: Okay, I have a great idea, hyuck!
THE FATTEST ONE: What?
GEORGIA HICK: Let's play a game! We show eachother our driver's liscenses and try to have people guess wether it's really them in the picture!
THE FATTEST ONE: What?
CRUSTYSKIN: Uh-oh, it's some hip people skateboarding!
THE FATTEST ONE: What?
NARRARATOR THATKIDSAM: SKATEBOARDER STAMPEDE'D!
{The skateboarders run over The Fattest One.}
CRUSTYSKIN: Well, it's just you and me, whoever you are.
{A nurse comes in.}
NURSE: Pill time! If you haven't taken your pills by now, you'd be crazy!
CRUSTYSKIN: Hm... Did I take my pills?
{Georgia Hick's left eye swells like Bubs'.}
GEORGIA HICK: I DIDN'T TAKE MY PILLS!! YEE HAW! {Jumps out the window}
CRUSTYSKIN: Well, it's just me and my boils now. {Starts pushing them} Ooh, this one's bleeding.
NARRARATOR THATKIDSAM: NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THIS MONSTROSITY ANYMORE SO I'M KILLING HIM OFF SOMEHOW!
{The "eraser" tool from MS Paint appears and erases Crustyskin.}
NARRARATOR THATKIDSAM: Meanwhile...
YOUNGSTER: I sure like being young and watching television.
GUY ON TV: Boo!
NARRARATOR THATKIDSAM: SCARED STIFF!
YOUNGSTER: Gah! {Has a heart attack}
NARRARATOR THATKIDSAM: This cartoon is done!! That means it's over!! To all the old people that don't understand, that means that this cartoon is finished! That means...
Fun Facts
- The "Driver's Liscense Guessing Game" is a reference to the NPR news quiz, "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me". In a question about old people, this was one of the wrong answers.
