(even if you aren't vegan)
Blue Lasermail/uniforms
Blue Laser talks formal. Uni-formal.
Cast (in order of appearance): Blue Laser, Blue Laser Minon, New Bad Guy Girl Character, Blue Laser Babies, Redd, Dryghost
Places: Computer Room, Cheat Commandos' HQ (exterior), Meeting Room, The Desert (easter egg)
Computer: Blasty 987
Date: Friday, February 19, 2010
Page Title: Blasty Time!!
Transcript
BLUE LASER: It's the email of the century-y-y-y-y! {brings up an email}
Blue Laser,
How did you decide on your distinctive, iconic uniforms?
- Chwoka
Were there any failed prototypes?
BLUE LASER: {typing} Failed prototypes? You don't know the half of it, Chwokker. The road to our iconic uniforms is one of many twists and turns. It's a little known fact that we got started wearing the most basic uniforms of all. You guessed it, T-shirts.
{A blue T-shirt with the Blue Laser logo appears on the screen for a moment before disappearing.}
BLUE LASER: These worked fine for a while, but soon summer passed and we faced some... unforeseen circumstances.
{Cut to the outside of the Cheat Commandos' HQ. The ground is covered in snow and Blue Laser and three minions are standing there in Blue Laser T-shirts, shivering.}
BLUE LASER: {shakily} Okay, I'll admit this was just poor planning.
{Cut back to the Blasty.}
BLUE LASER: {typing} With the fate of our organization uncertain, we gathered our brightest minds to discuss ideas for a new uniform.
{Cut to a meeting room. Blue Laser is sitting at a table, still in a T-shirt.}
BLUE LASER: Alright, men! We need a new, sensible uniform! Hit me with your ideas!
{Cut to the New Bad Guy Girl Character, also wearing a T-shirt, at the table}
NEW BAD GUY GIRL: So I was thinking we could wear these sporty, custom sweaters, {holds up a purple sweater} complete with a cute pair of blue jeans. {holds up a pair of jeans} The jeans would of course have our logo-
{Cut to a close up of the jean pockets, one of which has the Blue Laser logo sewn onto it.}
NEW BAD GUY GIRL: -subtly sewn onto the pockets, to ensure no one ever notices it.
{Cut back to Blue Laser.}
BLUE LASER: Oh yeah, and we could also change our name to Preppy Teenage Laser and form a pop band! NEXT!
{Cut to a Blue Laser Babies at the table. A diaper in sitting on the table in front of them.}
BLUE LASER BABY 1: Goo-ga.
BLUE LASER BABY 2: Goo-eh.
{Cut back to Blue Laser.}
BLUE LASER: Okay then. NEXT!
{Cut to Redd at the table}
REDD: Alright, so here's what I got.
{Cut to Blue Laser on a white background. New things are added to Blue Laser as Redd names them.}
REDD: {voiceover} We start with an atmospheric suit to protect from are harsh conditions or changes in atmosphere. However, this won't protect from enemy attacks much, so we upgrade it with a bullet-proof shield. Since this interferes with movement, we add wheels to the bottom, and if necessary, rocket-
{Cut back to Blue Laser.}
BLUE LASER: {shouting angrily} What does this look like to you, the robotics expo!? We're deciding on uniforms, not how to one-up the boy in the bubble!
REDD: {offscreen} Well, I liked it.
BLUE LASER: Since no one here knows anything about uniforms or fashion, I'll just have to go to someone that does!
{Cut to the Topplegangers' Hideout. Blue Laser and Dryghost are there.}
BLUE LASER: Wait, did I really just suggest that someone in a pink shirt and pointy helmet knows a crap-take about fashion?
DRYGHOST: Alright, so I did some super villain research and I think I got just the thing for you.
BLUE LASER: I'm listening, I'm listening!
{Dryghost pulls out a hanger with the modern Blue Laser uniform on it.}
BLUE LASER: What's this bull honky?
DRYGHOST: Spandex. It's three parts Marvel, two parts DC, and all parts villainous!
BLUE LASER: So how much is this spend axe gonna cost me?
DRYGHOST: I'd say about eighteen months of weekly payments.
BLUE LASER: I'll take it! Wait, how much are the payments?
DRYGHOST: Oh, too late! You already said you'll take it!
{Cut back to the Blasty.}
BLUE LASER: {typing} So there you go, Chocker. The complete history of the Blue Laser uniform. And I'm still making those payments! Just nine more months and I'll have paid off the first uniform! {hesitantly} Err.. I do accept donations. Just saying.
{The Laserjet Paper comes down.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on "uniform" at the end to see a scene in the desert.
{Two Blue Laser Minions are in the desert, wearing New Bad Guy Girl Character's uniform idea.}
BLUE LASER MINION 1: To be quite honest I always wanted to be in a pop band.
Fun Facts
- Dryghost mentions Marvel and DC, two well-known comic book/graphic novel publishers.
- Blue Laser's intro line is a reference to a line in Tales of Monkey Island.
- Blue Laser states that they aren't trying to one-up the boy in the bubble.
