Puffbat Emails/speakie

{open to black. Fade in. the camera zooms in on a map of the land of Gwid, towards the "Ponnor Forest", past that to a large forest, then inwards to a series of large stone turds. The zoom slows up as it comes towards one of many small, pear-shaped openings in the turd, which is labeled "417". Fade into the inside of the opening. Puffbat is hauling furniture around on his front-haunches, placing it in different positions. He has a wooden perch that looks like a finger, a mossy rock that is on fire slightly, a rug made of scavenged scrap paper, and a desk made from a piece of red brick. Suddenly, a banging is heard outside the entrance. Puffbat waddles over to the entrance, and a package is there sitting for him, with red packing tape around the corners. Puffbat looks excited.}

PUFFBAT: {a thought bubble appears above his head, with CD-i Link saying "Oh, boy!"}

{Puffbat picks it up and places on his desk, unwrapping it by pulling the corner-tapes off with his teeth. The box fall apart around a brand-new dollhouse computer, painted with Puffbat's colors. Puffbat winds it up with a crank, and sits down to check his email. Cut to a more close-up back view. A little star sticker is on the corner of the case.}

PUFFBAT: {subtitles appear as Puffbat breathes heavily, with intonations as you would hear in English.} Oh, I cannot wait to check my email on this thing! {he brings up the email.}

IS YOU SPEAKIE?!

-Don't do it Johnneh.

{Puffbat thinks for a second, and then begins to type with his right foot, one key at a time.}

PUFFBAT: {panting what he types} Well, Johnneh, as of now, I can't talk. I do have a text-to-speech program, but I haven't installed it yet. Would you like me to give a lesson on Puffbat anatomy? I will.

{cut to a Puffbattian schoolroom full of rowdy, fluffy-downed, Puffbat chicks. A rather thin teacher Puffbat with horned glasses and a necklace made of bits and bobs of tin foil taps a toothpick against a floor-to-ceiling chalkboard. A drawing of a Puffbat in the style of Vitruvian Man is on the board, along with the text "PUFFBAT ANATOMY 101 - Ms. Willofeg".}

MS. WILLOFEG: {panting with subtitles} Settle down, class! {the class quiets} Okay, today we will be learning about the body structure of a Puffbat, gender-indifferent.

{cut to a closeup of the chalkboard drawing. Several labels appear on the drawing and zoom in as they are mentioned.}

MS. WILLOFEG: All Puffbats have two short stocky legs, large wings with which to fly, two eyes, a muzzle and nose, and hidden jaws underneath their bellies. Note the lack of a chin, ears, or hands. But let's get back to the mouth. A Puffbat's jaws are tucked away below their muzzle with a hairline crack for lips. This is usually not seen in daily life, as Puffbats primarily breath and hum through their noses. When it is opened, however, it is used for eating a Puffbat's daily sources of grains, fruits, and vegetables. Puffbats also have windpipes which curve up into their upper body, since their mouths are so low. This results in hyperextended vocal cords in pretty much all Puffbats, which denies them speech.

{cut back out to the entire classroom. There is a globe made out of a tennis ball on a stick.}

MS. WILLOFEG: And that is the end of the lesson. Homework is pages fifteen to eighteen in your Science textbooks.

{the class riles up again as chairs scoot, and the children get up and line up at the door. cut to Puffbat's house at his computer. Puffbat was watching the previous scene as a video on his computer. He closes the video and resumes typing.}

PUFFBAT: So, Johnneh, that is Puffbat Anatomy 101, with your teacher, Ms. Willofeg. Thanks for your email, and I'll see all you guys and gals next time! Especially the gals... rrrowr.

{lettering in Puffbat colors fades in above Puffbat, which says "Click here to email Puffbat".}