Puffbat Emails/missus

{open to black. Fade in. the camera zooms in on a map of the land of Gwid, towards the "Ponnor Forest", past that to a large forest, then inwards to a series of large stone turds. The zoom slows up as it comes towards one of many small, pear-shaped openings in the turd, which is labeled "417". Fade into the inside of the opening. Puffbat is sitting on his finger-perch, napping peacefully. A clock on the wall that looks like a googly eye with a little tinkly bell on the bottom is ticking. Suddenly, the tinkly bell rings, and the eye spins around twice. Puffbat opens his eyes, looks around, and ruffles his feathers. He then hops down and waddles over to his computer. He winds it up, and sits down to check his email.}

PUFFBAT: {subtitles appear as he pants} Ohhh, it's time to check my email, but I'm really kinda tired. {brings up the email}

subj: missus

Dear Puffbat
Is there a Mrs. Puffbat
If not ;)

Lady Thatcher

{Puffbat blinks sleepily at the screen for a few seconds, before waking up, and starts to type}

PUFFBAT: {typing as he pants} Dear Lady Thatcher, at the moment, I'm single. I haven't found a mate yet, so for now I am living on my own. I do wish I could settle down with a nice woman, so perhaps it's time to break out that old Puffbat ritual... A DANCE CONTEST!

{cut to a large disco hall with a floor made of Lifesaver candies. Many Puffbats, big and small, are dancing to the music, which is punk rock coming from a cassette tape player behind the DJ's booth. A monkey's fist knot covered in sequins is hanging from the ceiling. A bouncer Puffbat with sunglasses is by the door, where a line of people are waiting behind a licorice rope. Puffbat is in the middle of the dance floor, wearing a blue vest and a necklace with a scallop shell on it.}

PUFFBAT: {panting with subtitles} This is the Dance Hall, where I come to strut my stuff! Woohoo!

{Puffbat boogies over to a female Puffbat with yellow braids, and starts to dance. The female Puffbat responds by swaying from side to side, shaking her head. Puffbat copies her movements but she walks away.}

PUFFBAT: {panting with subtitles} Well that didn't work out. {boogies off screen}

{Puffbat is now with a red-headed, 50's-haired Puffbat. She is stomping rhythmically while closing her eyes. Puffbat mimics her, but again she walks away.}

PUFFBAT: {panting with subtitles} Not her either. {shimmies off to the left}

{several Dutch angle shots of Puffbat dancing like various other women, identified by their hairstyle as black-haired dreads, white frizz, auburn ponytail, and brown pigtails. After each shot, a red X appears and a buzzer sounds. Finally, he ends up dancing with a potted plant which is waving back and forth. A green checkmark appears and a DING sounds, and he picks up the potted plant and wlaks away with it. The music winds down. Cut to Puffbat's house at his computer.}

PUFFBAT: {typing as he pants} Well, Lady Thatcher, now there is a Mrs. Puffbat! Mrs. Marigold Daisy Puffbat, to be precise. She's doing her own thing, but that's not much.

{cut to a shot of Marigold, then back to Puffbat after a few seconds.}

PUFFBAT: {typing as he pants} Come to think of it, it's not anything! I'ma ditching her.

{Puffbat gets up and walks offscreen. After a hefty heave-ho, shattering ceramic is heard. Puffbat comes back onscreen and sits down.}

PUFFBAT: {typing as he pants} So, no, there isn't a Mrs. Puffbat. You sound okay, though, Lady Thatcher. Hmm... {a thought bubble appears over Puffbat's head, and pictures Margaret Thatcher with Puffbat on her shoulder. The thought bubble pops.} Nah... well, that's all, people. See you next time!

{lettering fades in over Puffbat's head, saying Click here to email Puffbat}