Wikihood/eps/4

Summary

Instead of getting a job, Chaos gets the bright idea of returning to crime. Leigh manages to keep his job.

Transcript

{Open to Leigh's apartment at 6:00AM. His alarm clock begins to buzz. Leigh wakes up, looking groggy and squinting. He looks at the alarm, and peels the bedsheets off. He sits at the edge of the bed and looks at his phone. Cut to a shot of his phone, showing several new texts from Jules. One of them reads "awesum night, fam!", accompanied by a selfie of the two, looking obviously drunk and grinning widely. Leigh chuckles at the picture.}

LEIGH: Look at that. I made a new friend and got a new job.

{Leigh winces as he grabs his forehead in pain.}

LEIGH: And I made the wise choice to drink the night before. Go me.

{Leigh gets up from his bed and shuffles over to the 90s stereo that's on his dresser. He presses the radio button. The radio announcer sounds exactly like someone doing a Robin Williams impression, but not getting it quite right.}

RADIO ANNOUNCER: GOOOOOD MORRRRNIN' TOWNINDALE, I'M YOUR HOST, WILLIAM ROBINS, AND YOU ARE LISTENING TO HOLLYWOOD RADIO, THE ONLY STATION WHERE THE STARS PLAY THE HITS! We're gonna start this morning off with a 90s classic. We got ourselves some BRIIIIITNEY SPEARS! HIT IT!

{Leigh strikes a pose as the first few notes of ...Baby One More Time begin to play. He swags over to his bathroom. Cut to his top half in the shower, where he's mouthing along to the lyrics with his eyes closed, grooving hard to the song. Pan out to an above shot of the wigmaker's shop. As the chorus of "Hit Me Baby, One More Time" plays, the Wikihood logo appears, and we pan to the front room of Chaos, Lex, and Garfield's apartment. Lex and Garfield are getting ready for work, while Chaos is sitting on the couch in his pyjamas, watching the morning news and eating from a tub of ice cream. Lex approaches Garfield, holding two ties.}

LEX: Yo, Garf. Which tie should I wear today? Should I go for the piano tie, or the tie with martian decorations?

{Garfield strokes his chin.}

GARFIELD: Hm, good question. I think the piano tie would be good to show that you're a carefree individual, but the martian decorations are definitely endearing too, albeit in a less professional manner. What do you want to achieve? Are you trying to show that you mean business, or are you just trying to show customers that you're here for a good time?

LEX: I 'unno mon. I just like these ties.

GARFIELD: I know what to do. Wear both at the same time. Or wear one around your neck, and one around your head like you're trying to be Rambo.

LEX: ...Y'know, on second thoughts, I'm gonna go with a red tie.

{Lex walks back to his room. Chaos looks back at the kitchen from the couch.}

CHAOS: I think you should wear the martian-... Oh. He's gone. Damn it.

GARFIELD: Aren't you going to get ready for your job too, Felix?

CHAOS: ...What job?

GARFIELD: You still haven't gotten a job yet?

CHAOS: Well, I tried to get me an executive position but no matter how smooth I talked they wouldn't listen to the fact that I was a genius. They said "We got all that we can use".

GARFIELD: Okay, I get it. You don't have a job. You don't have to make fun of me.

CHAOS: Make fun of you?

GARFIELD: You're kidding.

CHAOS: Of course not I'm not kidding! You ask me, they don't know what they're missing.

GARFIELD: Hmm, maybe you should try for a car wash?

CHAOS: Hell no, I know exactly what I'm going to do, and all I need is this.

{Chaos pulls a Ski mask out of nowhere. Garfield looks down at the mask and back at Chaos, incredibly puzzled.}

GARFIELD: In the middle of summer?

CHAOS Um... Yes?

GARFIELD: Okay, good luck I guess.

CHAOS: Thanks Garf, but I don't need luck. This will be pure skill. Well, off to the Ski shop.

{Chaos leaves as Lex re-enters the room wearing a tie with a picture of Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, and John Malkovich on it}

GARFIELD: I thought you were going to wear a red tie.

LEX: Ya mon, It's my favorite Bruce Willis movie.

GARFIELD: Well, it sounds like Felix is going to take up professional skiing.

LEX: Really? Good for him, He'll get some use out of his old ski mask.

{Short pause}

GARFIELD: ...wait, it's the summer.

LEX: Yeah, mon.

{Garfield gets several ties; he wears a red tie around his forehead, then wears a cyan dragon-themed tie around his neck, then wears one orange tie around his left wrist and one purple tie around his right wrist.}

GARFIELD: Time to get paralegal.