The Noid Gets All the Ladies (Obviously)

This experiment is on hold until April 20th. Unless there's a special update. But those are pretty hard to squeeze in. Sorry!

The Noid Brand Pick-Up Lines
The Noid The Guide To Crafting A Pick-Up Line of Stimulative Proportions Uncle Noid's One-on-One FAQ, DBQ, BBQ, And Other, More In-Depth Interrogation The Noid's Other Quite Attractive Tips

I'm experimenting with various pick-up lines on a very close female friend. For, uh, science.

THE TESTS

Hey, do you have a quarter? No? That's too bad, because I told my mom I'd call her when I saw the girl of my dreams.

Since you're tired you don't have to talk to me after school, you can sleep, heh. Speaking of, I like your new layout. And that picture you have is pretty good too, "Gravity is not responsible for falling in love." But you know what it is responsible for, right? My jaw dropping every time I see your face.

Oh yeah, thanks for the comment. "We should go shopping" I agree! Let's go to the mall. I heard Santa is in town, and I can show him what he should bring me.

Hey, wingman showed me this awesome puzzle, let me show you. Give me your hand. {grabs hand, places other hand's index finger across it} Okay, so my finger is a river. There's a bunny on this side, and he wants to get over to that side. How does he do it? {all answers mean no} You give up? Well...I don't know either. I just wanted to hold your hand.

Requires you to leave toothpaste and/or dried drool on face What? {rubs off prop} Euch, why didn't you tell me I had this all over my face? Oh, you got something all over yours too. My eyes.

You know, you really are an inspiration to me. I just tell myself, "If I ever want to get a girl as a pretty as you some day, I should get my act together."

Requires subject to be looking in a mirror. Hey, wanna see something beautiful? Again? You just did.

Requires subject to say "Hoo, I'm hot (as in overheated)". Don't have to say that, we all were thinking it.

{runs up to target, places hands on shoulder blades before retracting them} Oh, sorry, I thought those were your wings.

Oh, what the-somebody stole my lunch card! Yeah, no, I checked my pockets...I bet it was you {to target}. No way, I don't believe you! You're definitely a good thief. The first moment I saw you, you stole my heart.

{target walks into room} Hey, are you an interior decorator? Because when you walked in, the room became beautiful.

Requires to be outside with stars Wow, look at all those pretty stars. I can match every one of them with a reason why I love you.

Yeah, he does show off a lot in Gym. You know else was showing off? God, when he made you.

Requires to be standing next to target with nobody else listening Hey, uh, I wanted to ask you a question. I'm kind of, uh, interested in somebody, and I was wondering if you would help me get their number. You will? Okay, good. But keep it on the down low, because she's right next to me.

You excited for spring break? Yeah, me too, I get to see my cousin. Did I ever tell you about the time he got arrested? Say, have you ever been arrested? No? That's a surprise, because it must be illegal to look that good.

WINGMAN: You know, target, I'm pretty sure this kid is in love with you or somethin'. / I don't know if I love her yet. I'm still lost in her eyes.

Yeah, that definitely is a great work of art. I'd call you one too. But don't get me wrong, you're no Mona Lisa...even she's not as pretty as you.

OTHER TIPS TO GET THE LADIES

• Flirting is very recommended. There are a lot of ways you can flirt. My personal favorites are compliments, well-timed and delivered pick-up-lines, and plenty of eye contact.
• Seriously though, eye contact is important. Don't be one of those nervous thumb twiddlers, you just read the book about the train that could and keep that in your head and go out there with confidence. Confidence!
• Confidence!
• Humor is statistically proven to be the most attractive quality. Shocking revelation: jokes are funny!
• Take interest in certain things the target does. Plays a sport? Go to a game and cheer 'em on. Except if they're auditioning for a play do not also audition, I have seen this backfire too many times on sitcoms.
• Extend a helping hand if target is emotionally distressed or just needs help with something. This is a biggie so this part is bold too!
• Don't be too overbearing because there always has to be some mystery and intrigue. Don't load on up with the pick-up lines and use them all at once either. I generally use one a day to keep 'em coming back for more.
• Nunchi! This is a Korean word for not being an unsociable idiot, or having tact. This goes hand in hand with the last one. Recognize when you have failed and try to learn from your mistakes.
• HYGIENE Use some gorram deodorant seriously
• The friend zone is a tricky thing, usually a result of you not progressing the relationship. If you keep progressing at a steady pace, the friend zone should not be of your concern.
• And for all you experiencing changes keep your anatomy in check, okay, that is probably the biggest turn-off there could be.

IF YOU HAVE A PICK-UP LINE THAT DOESN'T SUCK CAJOLES (READ: DOESN'T) SUGGEST IT HERE

• I CANT GET NO
• SATISFACTION
• I CANT GET NO
• GIRLY ACTION
• AND I TRY
• AND I TRY
• AND I TRY
• AND I TRY
• SEX NOW - SKUB ? 23:29, 13 April 2009 (UTC)

THE CERTIFIED GOLD OR AT LEAST EDITABLE

• I'm thinking charcoal on canvas. (confusion) Oh sorry, just wondering how fate drew us together. Bluebry
• I hope you know CPR because my heart just skipped a beat. Bluebry
• I know that Milk does the body good, but wow, how much you been drinking? -pmelondemon43y
• THIS IS MY PICK-UP LINE Shadow
• Hey, you ever heard of the Wiki User Wiki? No? Well, I'm kind of big deal there... TheDenzel