(even if you aren't vegan)
Wikihood/arc/Origins/Sephiroth
Summery
This Movie shows every part of Sephiroth's life, from Birth, to Entry to Wikihood.
Transcript
{It starts, with a desk, and then, someone puts photographs on the desk. The events are: Assassination of Lincoln, Assassination of Kennedy, Fall of the Bastille, Oliver Cromwell rules England, Hitlers Third Reich, Assassination of Franz Ferdinand. Then a photograph of George W Bush comes up, but the hand just throws it away. It starts putting more photographs on. Saddams Capture, a Photograph of Sephiroth. It is then revealed, that Sephiroth is in the background of all of these photographs.}
{Cut to a large room, with a conveyor belt. Lots of Infant Sharothians are on the belt, being scanned by a machine. 2 Robots are controlling the machine. The Machine starts to scan a particular infant, and these words come up on screen, being read by a voice similar to that to GlaDOS.}
Name: Sephiroth.
Type of Class: Fighter.
Assigned Planet: Pangaia.
Parents: Unknown.
ROBOT: NEXT!
{The camera follows Baby Sephiroth, in which, a bronze plate of armour is put on him, and also his eyes scanned with lazers. He is then picked up, and put into a spacepod, which takes off, and starts to move towards Earth.}
ROBOT: Bye Bye Sephiroth. Write to us please.
{Cut to the Pod through space. It is going 1 Billion Lightyears a second. It finally goes into the Galaxy, and then crashes into Mercury. Out of it, emerges a Child Sephiroth.}
SEPHIROTH: What? This isn't Pangaia. This is.. {Gets out a little Device.} Mercury? Well, I can just go into my pod. {Just as he says this, the pod explodes.} Oh crap. Well, I'm stranded. I guess, I just gotta look around, to see if there's any life on this attractive planet. {Starts walking.} Hello? Anyone here?
{Some sounds are heard.}
SEPHIROTH: Wha?
'{A small creature, made entirely from water emerges from a nearby rock.}
SEPHIROTH: Wha? Who are you?
???: Icyicy.
SEPHIROTH: Wha?
???: Deepfreeeeeeeeeze!!!!
SEPHIROTH: Wait... are you talking your language?
???: Freezy! {Nods.}
SEPHIROTH: So, what's your name?
???: Bloppy.
SEPHIROTH: Your name... is Bloppy?
BLOPPY: {Nods.}
SEPHIROTH: And, do you have any one else I can speak with?
BLOPPY: Kiki!! {Nods.} F..F... Follow!
SEPHIROTH: Follow?
BLOPPY: {Nods.}
SEPHIROTH: Alright. {Follows Bloppy to the north.}
{2 Hours}
SEPHIROTH: Oh god... My feet are aching.
BLOPPY: Nookook!
SEPHIROTH:
BLOPPY: H..H... Here!
SEPHIROTH: Really? {Looks up, to see a large town, all made out of Granite, Marble, Diamond, Emerald, and Ice.} Whoa! This place is huge!! It's... Beautiful.
BLOPPY: I...I... Know.
SEPHIROTH: It's funny how you can pick up on languages so easily.
BLOPPY: It's a trait.
SEPHIROTH: Cool.
BLOPPY: Yeah. We're good like that.
SEPHIROTH: So.. How old are you?
BLOPPY: I'm 12. 12 Years Old.
SEPHIROTH: Sweet. I am too. I just came from Sharoth, to go to Pangaia.
BLOPPY: Sharoth? You mean, the Legend Universe?
SEPHIROTH: Yep.
BLOPPY: WHOA!! ....So, do you need help in getting to Pangaia?
SEPHIROTH: Yep. I need another Space Pod. Mine broke.
BLOPPY: I think I know who you can see for that.
{Cut inside an Emerald Shack. A Mercurian blacksmith is there, constructing a Shoe.}
BLOPPY: Uncle! Uncle!
BLACKSMITH: Yes?
BLOPPY: I need help from you, for my friend.
BLACKSMITH: And, what may that be?
SEPHIROTH: A Space Pod capable of traveling to Pangaia.
BLACKSMITH: A SPACE POD!? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME THAT WOULD TAKE ME?!
SEPHIROTH: 5 minutes?
BLACKSMITH: 5 MINUTES?! That would take like.... 5 years!
SEPHIROTH: Fair Enough.
BLACKSMITH: I can't do that!
BLOPPY: He's from Sharoth, you know.
BLACKSMITH: Sharoth? Why didn't you say? Come on! Let's do it! Space Pod, right?
BLOPPY: Yep!
BLACKSMITH: ....But... Why Pangaia? That place is dangerous. It's full of the.... Glabal.
SEPHIROTH: The Glabal?
BLACKSMITH: The Glabal are a Barbarian Race. They are known for their outstanding strength, and speed, and habit of killing, and eating any people not of their race.
SEPHIROTH: Gross.
BLACKSMITH: So... do you still want to go there, Young Sharothian?
SEPHIROTH: Positive, sir.
BLACKSMITH: Darn. Well, if you expect to survive there, you should learn to fight. Bloppy, take him to Eldar. Trust me, you will appreciate it. He's from a neighbouring universe to the Sharothians.
SEPHIROTH: Really? What?
BLACKSMITH: The Demonic tribe.
SEPHIROTH: Whoa.
BLACKSMITH: Take care!
SEPHIROTH: All right Blacksmith Man!
{OOC: The Characters name, acually is Called Blacksmith.}
{Bloppy and Sephiroth walk outside, and move to the north, going into a large field. A Humanoid Demon is meditating on a tall, and skinny rock.}
BLOPPY: {Shouting} HEY!!! ELDAR!!! {Eldar wakes up, accidentally loses his balance, and falls off the rock.}
ELDAR: {Comical Shouting.} WHAT IS IT BLOPPY!!!!??
BLOPPY: My friend here needs training. He's from Sharoth.
ELDAR: Really? Sharoth? Well you two come up, you have some work to do!
BLOPPY: Me too?
ELDAR: Yes Bloppy. You too.
{Sephiroth and Bloppy line up, and then it becomes a training montage, with "Eye of the Tiger" from Rocky plays. Cut then, into 12 years later. Sephiroth is leaving the village, about to board a Giant Golden Airship. Sephiroth shakes hands with Bloppy, and the villagers cheer him on. Sephiroth boards the airship, and flies off.}
{Cut inside of the Airship. Sephiroth is in a training room, and he is using a punching bag.}
SEPHIROTH: Darn. I can't believe I'm gonna be fighting against a race of warriors. Stay calm... {Starts shaking.} Stay calm.. Stay calm... STAY CALM!!! OH GOD!! I CAN'T DO IT!!!! AHH!!! {Runs all around the room, and then runs into the punchbag, and falls. He then rises towards the ceiling, and falls.} Oww....
AIRSHIP INTERCOM: We are here, in Pangaia. Have fun.
SEPHIROTH: Oh no.... I'm gonna have to fight the Glabal now.... Meh. They can't be that bad. {Gets off the ship. Pangaia is a large, barren wasteland, with Volcanoes} This isn't how I expected... Oh well. I wonder if there's any species I need to make extinct. {A Giant Birdshrew, with 3 tongues attacks him. Sephiroth just shoots it with a ray gun, and it dies.} You're going on my list.
{Hours Later, Sephiroth is walking into a Forest, and in the middle of the forest is a Village, full of Primative creatures. The creatures are fighting, and then a giant Raptor attacks them. They just all jump on the Dinosaur, and Eat him Raw, Alive.}
SEPHIROTH: Oh god... These might be the Glabal.
GLABAL: {Sniff Sniff} {Talks in Native Language, with Subtitles.} I smell blood. Blood of... Sharothian?
{At hearing this, all the Glabal go into a rampage, and start searching everywhere. Sephiroth starts to run away. As he reaches a certain point in his cowardice, he runs into an invisible wall. Turns out that this invisible wall is a conveniently placed inter-dimensional portal. From the portal comes 2013 Lex, dressed in a bloodsoaked tanktop, cargo jeans, and a pair of aviator sunglasses, and armed with a massive plasma cannon. He is dramatically smoking a large cigar as he looks into the distance nonchalantly. As he finishes stepping out of the portal, he looks straight at Sephiroth, who falls backwards and begins to crawl away in fright.}
LEX: What is this?
SEPHIROTH: I-um... who are you? Don't you know where you are right now?
{Lex kneels down and dramatically takes the sunglasses off his face. He looks straight into Sephiroth's eye and growls at him.}
LEX: I said, WHAT IS THIS?
{Sephiroth proceeds to crawl further backwards in terror, as Lex carries on approaching him, armed and ready with his plasma cannon.}
SEPHIROTH: I.. don't know what you want with me! Please, just.. go! You're in great danger!!
{Lex stops, and begins to laugh at his young predecessor.}
LEX: Me? In great danger? Motherfucker, please. I eat this tough shit for breakfast. Whatever the hell is going on around here means nothing to someone of my prowess. I'm asking you. What the fuck is going on with your cowardice?
SEPHIROTH: The-... Glabal are here...
LEX: The Glabal, huh? Hmph, is that all? Right, follow me. I'll show you how this shit is done.
{Lex stands up, and then picks Sephiroth up with one hand, grabbing him tightly by the arm. As Sephiroth cowers from behind him, Lex carries on walking back to where the Glabal are, before readying his plasma cannon.}
LEX: Wait. I forgot something.
{Lex puts his shades back on and cocks his Plasma Cannon, aiming it into the wilderness.}
SEPHIROTH: What are you doing?! You're going to get us killed!
LEX: Shut up and watch the motherfuckin' master learn.
{Lex begins to charge his Plasma Cannon, before shouting loudly into the wilderness.}
LEX: HEY, FUCKFACES!!
{Lex's incredibly loud obscenity echoes through the entire jungle. Pan over ahead, to the Glabal, who are busy terrorizing another poor T-Rex.}
GLABAL #1: {Subtitled} Did you hear that?
GLABAL #2: {Subtitled} It sounds like more dinner!!
{The Glabal begin to charge in the direction that the sound came from. As they see Lex and Sephiroth standing alone, they take the chance to pounce at them. Lex quickly blasts them into dust with the plasma cannon, decimating an entire quarter of the jungle in the process. He cocks it another time, ready for the next wave. As more legions of Glabal come out the wilderness to attack them, Lex quickly dispatches them all with a gigantic plasma beam, as Sephiroth watches, speechless with awe. As the last Glabal horde is destroyed, Lex jumps high into the air with his rocket boots and aims a gigantic blast at the planet itself, going deep into the core. Suddenly, every single volcano erupts, as every mountain top is blown off the mountains. As Lex lands, he picks Sephiroth up again before firing more shots of plasma into the planet's core. Suddenly, the gigantic megacontinent of Pangaea begins to split, creating the planet we know today as Earth. As the seas are heavily shaken about by the large parting of the continents, the gigantic waves begin to cool down the copious amounts of magma, forming the recognizable shapes of the continents. Still carrying Sephiroth, Lex lands himself on the top of Mount Everest, as the world begins to properly form around them. Sephiroth is visibly shaken back by this.}
SEPHIROTH: What-... what was that?
LEX: Why, it was simply the power of the PLASMA CANNON. YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE, SEPH? I FUCKIN' OWNED THE PLACE. AND THAT IS MY ADVICE TO YOU, MAN. YOU NEED TO GO HARD, OR YOU NEED TO GO THE FUCK BACK HOME. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
SEPHIROTH: Y...yes. I do understand.
{Lex places his hand on Sephiroth's shoulder, handing him the Plasma Cannon.}
LEX: Good, man. You know what you need to do. Make the universe your bitch, and make yourself in to the most awesome motherfucker in existence, like I just did. You get it?
SEPHIROTH: Yes. I do. Thank you, mysterious stranger. Thank you for enlightening me with your awesomeness. I will strive to become the greatest by following your example every moment of my coming life.
{Lex disappears in a ray of light, leaving Sephiroth alone on the world. Cut to a montage of him exploring the globe, experiencing everything it has to offer, and using the Plasma Cannon against a variety of dangerous creatures. Cut to a thousand years later, where Sephiroth has now fully grown into a mature adult, with a magnificent beard and everything. As he travels around the plains of Africa, he notices a group of primitive ape-like beings, tinkering with tools of rock. Observing them from a distance, he smiles to himself and gazes up into the skies, in great anticipation of what the future will hold for him and these newly discovered people.}
