Zarel Emails/26

Zarel E-Mail #26

Zarel is asked about the worst present he's ever recieved.

Cast (in order of appearance): Zarel, Strong Mad, Tony Stony, Several of Tony's children, Homsar, Strong Sad, The Cheat, Le'Raz, Pter

Places: The Roomy-Vac, Strong Bad's Basement, Homsar Reservation, Strong Sad's room, The Stick

Transcript

ZAREL: Let's see how cute I am after I strangle you with your own email.

subj: worst present

Dear Zarel wanna cracker,
What was the worst present you ever gotten?
Send it to me and I'll shred it.
I'm a forty-two-year old goat-face and I LOVE SHREDDING!
From Goat-face!

ZAREL: {typing} Ah, presents. Whether it's a birthday present, a Decemberween present, or just any present in general...there are the ones that are bound to suck. Perhaps the worst present you've ever received was that goat for a face! Ooooh, burn! No, but in all serious, I've received some presents of suck. Like there was this one time-

{Cut to Strong Bad's basement where Strong Mad is holding his Tony Stony, and several other small rocks much like it, some with bows}

ZAREL: {voiceover} -where Strong Mad's rock had children...somehow...and he gave me some of the litter.

STRONG MAD: YOU'RE THE FATHER! Take good care of them!

ZAREL: Did you just speak without yelling?

STRONG MAD: IT HAPPENS!

ZAREL: I still don't get how this is scientifically possible.

STRONG MAD: IT'S THE BIRDS AND THE BEES. THE BIRDS AND THE BEES!

ZAREL: {voiceover} Or there was that one time when Homsar got me...well...let the flashback explain it.

{cut to the Homsar Reservation, Strong Bad is opening a box and inside are a pair of purple draconic legs, seemingly detached from something or someone}

ZAREL: Um...thank you...Homsar?

HOMSAR: Daaaaaooon't worry about it; I brought you my highschool tap shoes! {Homsar's hat orbits Zarel}

ZAREL: Why would Homsar need tap shoes...better yet...what appears to be someone's legs...?

{Cut to Strong Sad's room, Zarel is standing by the door holding a book}

ZAREL: {voiceover} Or there was that one time that Strong Sad gave me that book...

STRONG SAD: It's a collection of poems by Edgar Allen Poe-

ZAREL: {tosses it behind him} Deleted.

{SMACK}

THE CHEAT: {offscreen} MEEEEEEEEEEHH!!

ZAREL: {voiceover} ...or that severe beating and face-gnawing I received from The Cheat and Strong Mad that day. There was also the time when my stupid cousin came by again to give me-

{Cut to The Stick with Zarel and Le'Raz, Le'Raz is holding a box in which Zarel pulls out...}

ZAREL: ...a potato?

LE'RAZ: I was reading this thing and since your birthday is March 25, I was supposed to give you a potato as a present!

ZAREL: Le'Raz, have you been doing those stupid birthday memes again? What kind of one has your name on it anyway?

LE'RAZ: Oh, I may or may not have made it myself...

{Cut back to the Roomy-Vac Computer}

ZAREL: {typing} But probably the worst gift I've received...the one I'd probably want you, Mr. Goatface, to shred every last inch off of...tha-

{There's a crash that knocks Zarel off the chair and onto the floor}

ZAREL: GAH! What's going on?! I don't want to lose the Roomy-Vac yet, it's only been one email!

{Pan out to see a car having crashed through it; driven by some purple pterodactyl looking...thing with a travel mug of coffee in his hand}

PTER: {rapidly, with eyes wide, one of which is twitching, and his fingers shaking on the wheel} Secret Service agents in scandal have been placed on leave! US Plains states hit by tornadoes! Giants closer Brian Wilson is likely headed for surgery on his right elbow!

ZAREL: Who the crap are you? Why do you seem so familiar, like I had seen you in a flashback?

PTER: {gets out of the car and grabs Zarel; It seems that he has no lower half of his body, nor any wings} The government is watching us, man! Watching us- {falls asleep, snoring}

ZAREL: Why do I feel like Foxx of all people knows this guy?

{The Paper}

{after 5 seconds}

PTER: {snort} Elbow...surgery...

Easter Eggs

• Click on Pter's drool to see a chart much like this one

Le'Raz's Spectacular Birthday Game!

January: Give a potato as a present to _____
February: Give a bunch of potatos to Strong Bad on the 4th (every other day it's Zarel)
March: Give a potato as a present to _____
April: Give a potato as a present to _____
May: Give a potato as a present to _____
June: Give a potato as a present to _____
That one month that sounds like June: Give a potato as a present to _____
August: Give a potato as a present to _____
September: Give a potato as a present to _____
October: Give a potato as a present to _____
November: Give a potato as a present to _____
December: Give a potato as a present to _____

1: my cousin, Zarel
2: my cousin, Zarel
3: my cousin, Zarel
4: Strong Bad
5-the rest: my cousin, Zarel

Fun Facts

• Look who's back!
  • Pter spouts out random headlines I found on Google News.