(even if you aren't vegan)
Records Of Bell/Records/30.6
Summary
It's Tracy's birthday, and we're having a party!
Guest List
Just add yourself.
Crossed out names are guests kicked out of/left the party.
- Bell
- Sarah
- MB
- Sephiroth
- Lemon
- Number Four
- Number Five
- Gilligan
- Zorax
- Raiku
- Jay
- Silent Bob
NPPKP- Chaos
- Heian
Transcript
{open to MB's living room. The cast is there, setting stuff up for the party}
IM A BELL:{pulls out a gift, hands to Tracy} I should give you this now, I suppose.
TRACY: Thanks! {rips open present, revealing a time bomb} ...What the f-
{cue opening theme. cut back to MB's living room}
TRACY: Say, how many people did you invite?
IM A BELL: Oh, a lot of people we know.
TRACY: ...Okay...
{the doorbell rings}
MATURE BLING: I'll get it! {runs over to door and opens it, revealing Sephiroth.}
SEPHIROTH: Hello guys! {Looks at camera.} About time I got a cameo.
{Lemon walks in, after a hangover when he was in the basement.}
LEMON: Hey Trace. I got you an Xbox 360.
{Number Four and Number Five walk in.}
NUMBER FIVE: Hey, Tracy!
NUMBER FOUR: {mumbling} You had to bring me back here.
TRACY: HEY, GUYS! What's up? ...Waaaaaaaaait. Number Five, you seem different. I thought you hated us!
NUMBER FIVE: Eh, you go away and you start to get homesick. What can I say?
NUMBER FOUR: I hate you guys.
TRACY: ...JESUS.
NUMBER FIVE: Sorry, he's still bitter about all that abuse Bell gave him.
TRACY: Ah. I see. ...Oh, hey, I just remembered something. Four, you remember that mushroom of yours I ate?
NUMBER FOUR: {mumbling} It wasn't even mine-
TRACY: Well, do you know where you got it? Because I need some more.
NUMBER FOUR: {mumbling} Well there's a guy named Mario you should see about that-
TRACY: Ah, whatever. I'm gonna go talk to Seph. {walks over to Sephiroth} Hey, Seph! What's up?
{A part of the wall explodes, creating a hole. Gilligan walks through it holding a grenade launcher and a present}
GILLIGAN: Not paying for that.
TRACY: Oh, hey, Gilligan! {walks over to Gilligan}
GILLIGAN: Hey, buddy! PRESENT FOR YOU {Gives Tracy the present}
TRACY: OH BOY {throws the present at Lemon. It bounces off his face, causing him to drop the Xbox 360 on his foot. The present lands on a table labeled "PRESANTS GOO HEER"} So... What's up?
SEPHIROTH: Wait, I've also got a present! {Pulls out the Hylian Shield.} You better like it, it cost me 300 rupees! YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW HOW MANY {BEEP} BLADES OF GRASS I HAD TO CUT TO GET THAT MONEY.
TRACY: SWEET {takes the shield, throws it towards Lemon. It ricochets off his head and onto the present table}
GILLIGAN: Don't you wanna know what mine is?
TRACY: Honestly, I wanted to open all of my presents at once.
GILLIGAN: ...JUST OPEN MY PRESENT
TRACY: FINE {runs over to the table, grabs the present, runs back to Gilligan} If it's porn, I'll snap your neck. {rips open the present, revealing it to be... AN ENVELOPE} ... {rips open the envelope, revealing... TICKETS FOR A HARUHI SUZUMIYA LIVE CONCERT} ...HNNNNNGH {heart attack}
GILLIGAN: ...I win.
{a Tracy clone walks in}
TRACY: So, what did you get m-{sees the tickets} ...HNNNNNGH {heart attack}
{another clone walks in}
TRACY: So, how did you get the tickets, anyway?
GILLIGAN: Umm...
{Flashback. A japanese man is walking along holding the tickets and smiling. All of a sudden, Gilligan jumps out of a back alley and knifes him. He steals the tickets and runs off. Cut back}
GILLIGAN: ...eBay.
TRACY: ...Oooookaaaay... ...I'm gonna go talk to Seph. {walks over to Sephiroth} Hey. ... So... Umm... Cheese? ...Whatever. Anyone not staring at nothing for no reason?
MARISSA: {not seen} We're almost there.
ZORAX: Yay!
{the front door opens, and marissa pushes zorax in, who's wearing a blindfold. marissa quickly locks the door}
ZORAX: The pool feels a lot more wood-like than I remembered.
{there are noises coming from the bathroom. Raiku comes out of the toilet.}
TRACY: ... {bashes head on wall} DAMMIT BELL WHY DID YOU INVITE THEM
IM A BELL: I hate you, that's why.
RAIKU: {To everyone but MB, Bell, Number Four, Tracy, and Number Five} Greetings earthlings. {To the others} Hello. {To Tracy} I got you something awesome. Guess.
ZORAX: {gets up, takes off the blindfold} This definatly isn't the pool.
TRACY: ... {bashes head on wall again, walks over to Raiku} Hmm... I don't know. A demon-in-a-box?
RAIKU: RAIKU: Actully... A SIGNED AUTOGRAPH FROM THE CAST OF THE JAPANESE VERSION OF HARUHI SUZUMIYA!
TRACY: I-Uhh-Wh-Hmm-FFFF-THANK YOU MR. MARY SUE PERSON
ZORAX: I'm off to find the pool. {walks up the staircase}
TRACY: Wh-There aren't any stairs in this place.
{the stairs fade from existence and Zorax falls to the ground. his head crashes through the floor}
ZORAX: "Water heater." That sounds like a pool!
VOICE: Water heater. I'm a water heater. These are water heater noises. I'm definitely not a man dressed as a water heater.
GILLIGAN: Did I mention the... BACKSTAGE PASSES?
TRACY: ...YAY
RAIKU: I EVEN CALLED THE CAST AND THEY ARE COMING HERE.
GILLIGAN: I... hate you.
TRACY: ...I-Wh-How-
{the door opens and a cardboard cutout of the cast falls in}
TRACY: ...OH HAHAHA VERY FUNNY RAI
RAIKU: I didn't plan cardboard.
GILLIGAN: Umm... I don't know if any of you know, but theres two guys selling fireworks to 10 year old kids in the front yard.
TRACY: ...Did you invite them?
IM A BELL: Hell no.
TRACY: ...Okay, I'll go check it out. {walks outside}
{cut to outside MB's house. Jay and Silent Bob are standing behind a table covered in fireworks]
TRACY: ...What.
JAY: Woah, Silent Bob! ...That guys head looks like a bong!
SILENT BOB: {Confused look}
JAY: Squint your eyes a little, man!
TRACY:{ ¬_¬ } ... {walks back inside} Gilligan, do you know these people?
NPP AND KP: {come in} Am I late?
TRACY: ...No, you're too early. Now, if you excuse me... {runs off to the wall, bashes his head against it a few times}
ZORAX: {struggling to get out of the floor} A little help?
NPP: Oh, here's my gift!
{gives Tracy a video of Mommy Fights}
GILLIGAN: Oh, I know those guys. They hang out in from my dad's mansion... for some reason. Their names are Jay and Silent Bob.
{Jay and Silent Bob appear inside}
JAY: Snooch to the nooch, party goers!
GILLIGAN: Oh, and thats their catchphrase. ...Wait, how the hell did you guys get in here?
SILENT BOB: {Pulls out a crowbar}
GILLIGAN: Ah, I see...
TRACY: ...Wh-
NPP: I broght the candy.......keep it away from me though!
GILLIGAN: Oh yeah, Silent Bob doesn't talk. At all.
NPP: I also brought a PS3!
ZORAX: {pulls the lever on his flotation device, causing the rings to go backwards. it cuts through the floor, and he falls. he comes back up with a piece of the floor around his neck} Nevermind.
TRACY: ...I'm pretty sure I know who these two are. {extends arm to shake Jay's hand} Nice to meet you, Mr... Umm... W-what's your last name, again?
NPP: I guess I'll leave. I don't get regonized.
{leaves}
JAY: Jay .J. Jayson! {Shakes Tracy's hand}
TRACY: ..That sounds like a lie. ...Ah, whatever. So, you're... Fireworks salesmen?
JAY: No way, man! Silent Bob and I are just doing that for money. Our real job is... being proffesinal loiterrers! {Pronounces it "loterours"}
TRACY: ...Huh. Say, do you sell pot, too? I ran out.
JAY: Silent Bob... bring out the inventory.
{Silent Bob lifts up a side of his jacket to reveal a lot of drugs}
TRACY: ...SWEET
IM A BELL:{notices the pot} HEY! {runs over to Tracy}
TRACY: Ohhhhh crap.
{the doorbell sounds}
MATURE BLING: I'll get it! {runs to door, opens it, only to be lit on fire}
HEIAN: Whoops. Butterfingers.
CHAOS: Okay, we're here.
TRACY: Hey, Chaos!
CHAOS: Hey, Tracy. What up?
TRACY: Not much. {walks over to Chaos}
IM A BELL: ...Okay, he's gone. Now then, how much pot will- {pulls out a $100 bill} a hundred bucks get me?
JAY: That my friend, will get you... ONE BAG OF POT. ...Hey, don't question how we do our business! Only the police can do that!
IM A BELL: Hmm... It seems I have underestimated you. {pulls out a roll of bills} So, does that mean one grand would get me 10 bags?
ZORAX: {goes up to bell} Oh, yeah. Marissa wanted you to sign this. {holds up a sheet of paper}
IM A BELL:{reading} I, Imothy Bellstrom, do hereby adopt Zorax. {normal} ... {rips up the paper}
ZORAX: Whoops, wrong one. {gives him another sheet}
IM A BELL: ...What's THIS one?
ZORAX: It's to be the mascot of some make-it-yourself kit. Can I have that paper you tore up back?
IM A BELL: ...Okay. {signs paper, picks up torn up paper, hands both to Zorax} Here.
CHAOS: So, Bell...Why the hell are we here?
TRACY: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY YOU STUPID GIT
CHAOS: If it's a party, then why is Raiku here?
IM A BELL: I hate Tracy. Why else?
CHAOS: You guys certainly have a good father/son relationship.
IM A BELL: He killed my wife and his mother. I think I have a good reason to hate him.
CHAOS: No, no, no. You can't hate him for that. He's a son. You can only hate him for simple things, like staying up past curfew and robbing banks. That's more of a reason to hate your best friend's dad.
