|
|
| Line 1: |
Line 1: |
| − | {{User:Homfrog/navi}} | + | {{Tobedeleted}} |
| − | | |
| − | ==Klau==
| |
| − | | |
| − | ''{open up to darkness. A soft buzzing like an insect is heard. A [http://www.nataliedee.com/103005/queen-hornet.jpg Queen hornet] floats across the screen from right to left, following by several smaller hornets. The Queen poops eggs as she flies along, and they land on an invisible platform and hatch open, revealing the letters "K", "L", "A", and "U" in the center of the screen.}''
| |
| − | | |
| − | '''KLAU:''' ''{voiceover}'' Hello. Let me tell you a story.
| |
| − | | |
| − | ''{fade in. many thousands of images of people flash by on the screen, slowly zooming in}''
| |
| − | | |
| − | '''KLAU:''' When I was born in Poland, I was to be named Klaus, after my father, and his father. But on the birth certificate... they ran out of ink. No one had another pen. I am forever scorned by this. I am Klau.
| |
| − | | |
| − | ''{lightning flashes and thunder claps, and the changing pictures are replaced by Klau, slowly fading and zooming in. He is short, with pale skin, blood-red hair, and half-moon glasses.}''
| |
| − | | |
| − | '''KLAU:''' Thousands- no, millions of other people are named Klaus, so you'd think I'd be happy. Happy to be unique. Happy to be different. But I'm not. No, I want normality. I want to be named Klaus. Heck, I don't even have a last name. Just Klau. I can't carry on my forefathers' legacy of their last name Dół-szczypie. Wait, no, I'm glad I don't carry on that name. It is silly. "Bum-pincher"... sheesh... No matter. I am so angry at the world. Angry at the pen, for running out of ink. Angry at my parents, for not bothering to change my name. Angry at YOU, because you are probably giggling right now. Just... Sprawiać przyjemność skaczą w jeziorze. Yes.
| |
| − | | |
| − | ''{The front view of Klau fades out, and Klau at a side view, b/w Klau at a view in the distance, fade in.}''
| |
| − | | |
| − | '''KLAU:''' To the underworld with you all, for laughing at Klau. I will be powerful someday. Do not upset me, I will strike you down. Do not mock me, I will have you hanging in the wind by the flesh around your collarbone. Piercing hooks will dive into your flesh and hoist you up and away between two military stunt planes. I will be responsible for that. I will give the royal order, by his highest majesty Klau, to have you strung up by your sternum and flown into the air, dangling. Yes. ''{chuckles}'' Yes. That is a funny image.
| |
| − | | |
| − | ''{the side view of Klau fades out, and the distant view of Klau takes center stage, slowly zooming in.}''
| |
| − | | |
| − | '''KLAU:''' You will all bow down to be someday. You will bow down to Klau, ruler of the universe as you know it. Your knowledge will be restricted at that, but still, your universe will be an entire ''1984'' in a little medicinal capsule. Pop the pills away, they lead to bliss and happiness and undenying devotion for your lord and master, Klau. Take each sip of water lightly, the medicine's contents is blended in. Eat every pastry with care, the pill's punches are inside. Even if you subsist on car tires, there will be the medicine in that as well. And you will not avoid me. My face shall be everywhere. All your casual T-shirts - throw them out, my reign will have them all with my face on them. Every one of your socks and shoes - toss them away, the new world order shall bring my visage on each. Klau shall rule. Klau shall rule! KLAU SHALL RULE! ''{cackles with mad laughter}''
| |
| − | | |
| − | ''{Klau fades out. A close-up of his mouth appears on screen.}''
| |
| − | | |
| − | '''KLAU:''' Bow down now, lest you be smote. Klau will rule.
| |
| − | | |
| − | ''{Klau fades out again. The Queen hornet flies by again in the opposite direction, pooping three eggs, which hatch into "E", "N", and "D".}''
| |
| − | | |
| − | ''{suddenly, CD-i Mario appears}''
| |
| − | | |
| − | '''CD-I MARIO:''' KLAU
| |
| − | | |
| − | ''{cut back to the end screen.
| |
