Difference between revisions of "Green Grass and High Tides Forever!/Battron"

Latest revision as of 21:34, 14 March 2015

Everything inorganic is dead, it's

BROWN DIRT AND DRY TIDES FOREVER

{Open: An apocalyptic wasteland. Further observation reveals the wasteland to be the remnants of YTPLand, now completely destroyed, as if by centuries of decay. In the middle of the wasteland is Chaos, partially buried in the ground. His eyes starts blinking slowly, before properly waking up.}

CHAOS: What the Gehel? I'm almost 100% certain that there was more here.

{Sephiroth pokes his head out from the dirt.}

SEPHIROTH: Finally, you've woken up. I've been awake for the last few centuries underground.. I've gone through the insanity cycle about 785 times now.. I even managed make a few friends with some of my other personalities. Hmm.. I keep losing at Tic-Tac Toe though... Wait, what was I talking about again?

{Sephiroth suddenly gets pulled back into the dirt. Muffling sounds are heard underground, and the ground shakes slightly as Chaos looks at the scene with a confused expression on his face.}

CHAOS: Hey, Seph. What the hell are you doing in there? Come on, don't be silly now, we have to find our friends!

{The muffling and ground shaking stops, as Chaos looks at the crater where Sephiroth's head poked out. Suddenly, Sephiroth pokes himself back out again.}

SEPHIROTH: {In a weird voice.} Ha ha ha, Chaos. I was only playing a trick on you. I am absolutely fine, and my name is most definitely Sephiroth. Ha ha ha.

{Sephiroth comes out of the dirt in full, but something seems wrong about his body. His arms and legs are floppy, much like a puppet on a string. He wiggles about.}

SEPHIROTH: How are youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu doin', buddy ol' pal? Ha. Ha. Ha.

CHAOS: Seph... are you alright? You don't seem to be feeling your usual self.

SEPHIROTH: Don't be silly Chaos, I felt myself just ten minutes ago! GET IT. IT'S A MASTURBATION JOKE.

CHAOS: Ew, gross dude. You really don't need to tell me that.

SEPHIROTH: But you wanna know a secret, Chaos? I'm just an empty shell of a man. Wanna see?

{Chaos staggers back, away from Sephiroth.}

CHAOS: Okay, you are acting really strange, and I am not liking it. Come on, stop fooling around.

SEPHIROTH: Oh, fiiiine. You never were very fun in any universe, Chaos.

{Chaos carries on backing away as Sephiroth grabs his mouth from both ends, and then rips open his head, making a sickly bone-snapping noise while doing so. A slimy figure crawls out from Sephiroth's body, leaving Sephiroth as a fleshy sack. The figure finally steps out, before grabbing his helmet from the flesh sack and putting it on his head. Chaos looks at him, stunned with terror.}

CHAOS: N-no... NO. IT CAN'T BE.

OLD BELL: What's up, fuckface?

{Chaos summons fireballs from his hands.}

CHAOS: You stay the HELL BACK, BEAST!

OLD BELL: Say, I've gone through so many of you, so forgive me for asking this question. Are you the son of death?

CHAOS: Wha? Of course! Just because I'm not as powerful as my father, doesn't mean that I can't kill you! Especially after what you did to my friend!

{Bell walks over to Sephiroth's corpse and puts his hand through it, using his head as a puppet. He begins speaking to it.}

OLD BELL: Aw, look! He called you his friend!

{Bell mouthes out Sephiroth's words as he manipulates his mouth.}

OLD BELL: WHY GEE, I FEEL ALL TINGLY INSIDE, THANK YOU CHAOS, YOU'RE MY FRIEND TOO!

{Chaos has a look of sheer terror and disgust on his face as Bell turns back around.}

OLD BELL: What's the matter, Malifact? That was fuckin' hilarious and YOU KNOW IT!!

{Bell bursts into maniacal laughter as Chaos throws his fireballs at him. To his misfortune, they fizzle out once they hit his body.}

CHAOS: No, no! Come on! Not now!

OLD BELL: Say, your daddy hasn't come visit for a while, has he? Oh my gosh, we're going to have ourselves a big family re-uuunion!!!!

CHAOS: In your dreams, freak-beast! What you don't know is that this is just my first form, I have several more-...

OLD BELL: Blah, blah, blah, blah FUCKING BLAAAAAAAH. Jesus fuckin' Christ, is this seriously what y'all were like back then? All talk and no fuckin' action! If you're going to do shit, then FUCKING DO IT!!! COME ON, BITCH. SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT!!

CHAOS: Very well. Prepare to be erased from history, fiend.

{Chaos hypes himself up as he begins his transformation into his Demon Chaos form. Bell sits down and watches as he munches popcorn.}

DEMON CHAOS: NOW, PREPARE TO FACE YOUR DOOM!!!

OLD BELL: Cool story, bro.

{Demon Chaos grabs Bell by the neck and then throws him into an air. He pulls out his dual katanas and flies upwards, slicing and dicing a rather unimpressed Bell. Cutting Bell into millions of tiny pieces, he then summons a meteor shower to completely decimate him. The pieces of Bell can be heard yawning as Demon Chaos carries on with his barrage, burning him with his Black Demonic Pyro technique, finishing it all off by placing the Mark of the Beast on Bell's remains. The ground opens, as Bell is dragged down to the Ninth Circle of Hell to be tortured throughout all eternity. Chaos reverts back to his ordinary form and kneels besides Sephiroth's corpse.}

CHAOS: Rest easy, my friend. I will meet you again in the afterlife, and we shall rejoice once more.

{Bell materializes behind Chaos and taps him on the shoulder.}

OLD BELL: You know the funny thing about an "afterlife", Chaos? It's all a fucking lie.

{Chaos recoils in horror as he turns around to face Bell.}

CHAOS: Y-you... you're alive! It's impossible!

OLD BELL: No, I died a long time ago. I felt the sweet embrace of death after a lifetime of... FUCKERY, with my beautiful loving wife and son by my side. Turns out it was all a fuckin' lie. Your friend's gone for good, mate. But don't worry, I did him a favor. I released him from his pitiful existence, something I had taken away from me. Don't worry though, I'm a merciful freak of nature. You won't have to suffer any longer.

CHAOS: What are you going to do?

OLD BELL: Maybe if I destroy everything, I will fade away with it.

{Chaos staggers as Bell drives his arm through his chest, ripping out his heart. Blood starts pouring out from Chaos' mouth as he falls to his knees.}

CHAOS: Y-you... you're a monster...

{Chaos falls down, dead.}

OLD BELL: I know.

{Bell turns around and surveys the area.}

OLD BELL: I think it's time for a much overdue cleansing.

{A montage begins of Bell killing all the unoriginal characters of Green Grass and High Tides Forever, set to the tune of Sweet Georgia Brown.}

{Bell flies by and sees Jeran training by himself. He grabs him from behind and begins forcibly shoving a tons of C4 down his throat. He triggers it, causing Jeran to explode into tons of gory little pieces.}

{Bell finds the Mortal Kombat characters, Kano, Shao Kahn, Shang Tsung, Jarek, and Taven. Immediately, they all try and attack him at once. Bell pulls two katanas out of hammerspace and proceeds to decapitate both Jarek and Taven with two flicks of his wrists. Kano tries to punch Bell while he's distracted, but Bell retaliates by kicking him in the nuts before crushing his head with his hands. Shang Tsung drives his sword through Bell's abdomen, but Bell pulls the sword out before proceeding to skewer Tsung with it by driving it right up his ass. With only Shao Kahn left, he goes to stab Bell in the back, but Bell grabs him by the arm and proceeds to rip it off. He then strangles Kahn to death with his disembodied arm before shooting a blast of pure energy and wiping out the Mortal Kombat characters for good.}

{Bell sees R2-D2 and C-3P0. He calmly rips R2-D2's top off and then shoves C-3P0 into him, much like a trashcan. He looks into R2-D2 and winces.}

{After the montage is over, we pan over the Youtube Poop Wasteland, as every character has been murdered in some awful fashion. The CD-I Mario Brothers have had their legs chopped off and their abdomens stitched together, SMWC Luigi 's skull has been crushed, his body still twitching, and Honey the Cat is has been filleted and sold to a Chinese Restaurant, which funnily enough happens to be the only part of the land that is still intact. Bell observes the result carnage and lights a cigarette, with a proud look on his face. He grabs the planet by the crust and proceeds to throw it straight into the sun, destroying Green Grass and High Tides for good.}