Difference between revisions of "Wikihood/eps/10"

Revision as of 14:30, 28 May 2018

Synopsis

The day after the heist.

Transcript

{Open to Chaos, Lex, Garfield, Tracy, Headwiz, and Virgil sitting at a table at Katyusha's, which is covered with several plates and bowls with an assortment of pierogies, sausages, cabbage rolls, borscht, schnitzel, and latkes.}

HEADWIZ: Man, this stuff is really fuckin' good! If I knew you lived here, I would've actually visited you guys.

GARFIELD: Technically, we live above it, but-...

HEADWIZ: Yeah, yeah, I know. Still, though. I haven't had cabbage rolls this good since my dad used to make 'em for me when I was a kid.

CHAOS: Lex and I have finished counting the bills, along with the money that Headwiz managed to siphon from the bank account. Splitting it evenly, we will all be getting around $400,000 each.

{Garfield does a spit-take, covering Tracy in borscht.}

TRACY: Ugh, thanks Garfield!

GARFIELD: Sorry about that. Four-hundred grand? Are you serious?

CHAOS: Yep. We managed to grab around $2.4 million from the fundraiser alone. We got that D'Arque guy good.

LEX: Ya all gotta remember to stay low for the next few months. Don't arouse any suspicions, ya?

{Garfield, Tracy, and Virgil all nod.}

VIRGIL: Got it, man. Say, what do y'all plan on doin' with your cuts?

CHAOS: I don't know, yet. I'm thinking that I could find my own place to live.

LEX: What? Don't ya like living with me and Garf?

CHAOS: I'd like to have my own bedroom, to be honest!

LEX: That's fair. I don't know what I wanna do with my money, either. Perhaps I'll buy a bar of chocolate, or somethin'.

TRACY: Dude... you can do that anyway. Chocolate doesn't cost-...

{Chaos places his hand on Tracy's wrist and leans forward.}

CHAOS: Don't bother telling him this stuff, he doesn't get it. Let him have this.

{Tracy looks confused as Chaos backs away.}

HEADWIZ: I'm gonna send most of the money back to my mom. She needs it more than I do.

VIRGIL: Yeah, same. Well, gonna divide it between my family, the community, my lil sis' college fund...

TRACY: I'm just surprised at how smoothly this went. Nobody got hurt from this whatsoever!

{Cut to Leigh, who is being interrogated by Xavier D'Arque in Jacqueline Rosenberg's office. Standing next to Xavier is Jacqueline with her arms crossed, and standing behind Leigh is Stephanie and Dahn. Xavier slams his fists on the table.}

XAVIER: THE FUCKING VILLAGE PEOPLE? DO YOU HONESTLY EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT BULLSHIT?

DAHN: Nah man, witnesses did say that they looked kinda like the village-

XAVIER: CRAM IT, I'M TALKING HERE!

{Dahn squeals as Xavier stands up from the chair and sits on the desk, getting close to Leigh.}

XAVIER: So lemme get this straight. You lost your keycard, found the thieves, who looked like the Village People, and then got knocked out and shoved into a toilet cubicle?

LEIGH: Th-th-that is what happened... sir...

{Xavier turns to Jacqueline.}

XAVIER: I cannot believe you would hire somebody so useless as to let a bunch of fucking thieves steal my money!

JACQUELINE: Yelling at me is not going to make this any better.

STEPHANIE: And to be fair, it's not like he's equipped to deal with such a thing. That's more the job of the security guards.

XAVIER: I don't give a fuck! He is... or was an employee of this company, and he fucked up.

LEIGH: I'm- I'm sorry... I-...

XAVIER: You will be sorry, alright. You're fired!

LEIGH: You can't fire me! You don't even work here!

XAVIER: Oh, but I do, dirt elf. I work for this entire city, and this entire fucking state! It cost a lot of money to do this and shit hit the fan. Now I'm drawing blood. Get the fuck out.

{Leigh looks at Jacqueline for affirmation, but she just shakes her head and sighs.}

JACQUELINE: If we keep you, this will really bad on the company, and I cannot allow that. I'm letting you go, Leigh. I'm sorry.

{Leigh sighs before cracking a small smile.}

LEIGH: At least I broke my one week limit, huh?

{Jacqueline sighs. Leigh stands up and walks out of the office, looking defeated. Both Jacqueline and Stephanie look somewhat remorseful, while Xavier is wearing a shit-eating grin. Dahn looks concerned, but is keeping his mouth shut. Cut to the building's foyer. Leigh walks out of the main elevators, and is immediately greeted by Gordon, who is wearing a large smile on his face.}

GORDON: EY, FUTURE EMPLOYEE OF TH' MONTH, WHAT'S...

{Gordon sees Leigh, looking defeated.}

GORDON: ...up, mate? Are ya a'ight? Anythin' you'd like t'talk aboot?

LEIGH: Goodbye, Gord. Those were two really good weeks, eh?

{Gordon goes to put his arm around Leigh, but Leigh avoids him and walks out of the doors. He sees Jules on the other end of the street, who whistles and waves at him. He ignores him as he sadly roller skates home. Cut to the six, who have finished their feast. Volkov comes to the table.}

VOLKOV: Does anybody have room for seconds?

TRACY: I would love to, but I am stuffed. There's only so much borsht I can have in one sitting.

CHAOS: I think we're good, Volkov. Can we have the bill?

VOLKOV: Of course! Coming right up!

{Volkov goes offscreen. Garfield loudly burps.}

CHAOS: Give us a couple of days, and we'll deposit the money into your bank accounts.

LEX: It's also a good idea if ya guys keep a distance from us for a month or so. Just do thin's like ya'd do anyways, and use ya best judgement.

VIRGIL: I'm goin' back to Phoenixshire tomorrow, so that won't be a problem. Gonna buy some souvenirs, but that's it.

{Virgil stands up.}

VIRGIL: Say, if any of y'all find yourselves in West Virginia and ya need a place to stay, just holla at me! I'll be seein' ya.

{Everyone waves Virgil goodbye as he leaves.}

HEADWIZ: He seems like a nice guy.

CHAOS: Drives like a fucking maniac, though.

LEX: He's better than Toby.

HEADWIZ: Ah, Toby. I'd say "rest in peace," but you just know he ain't up there.

{Headwiz gets up from her seat.}

LEX: Ya leavin' too?

HEADWIZ: Yep. I got some shit to sort out. I got a text from one of my friends, he's this ex-cop who does some weird ghost hunting shit in Rivergate. He needs my help again.

GARFIELD: Ghosts?

HEADWIZ: I don't believe it, myself, but he does this stuff for a living. And hey, I get paid too!

CHAOS: Wow.

HEADWIZ: I know, right?

{Headwiz leaves. Everybody waves goodbye. Tracy gets up next.}

TRACY: The cafe's been closed for over a day, and the hipsters get antsy when they have to look for other places to hang out in. So... yeah, heh.

{Tracy leaves the restaurant. Volkov returns with the bill.}

VOLKOV: That'll be $130, please!

CHAOS: I'll just pay it on my credit card.

{Chaos pulls out his card and gives it to Volkov, who swipes his machine.}

CHAOS: I'm gonna go for apartment hunting. Finally getting my own place!

VOLKOV: If I had room available, I'd be happy to rent to you.

CHAOS: I know, I know. I just really want a bed of my own.

GARFIELD: 'Tis a shame. I was beginning to enjoy your presence.

CHAOS: Hey, it's all good. We can all still hang out, and stuff.

{Cut to Xavier D'Arque, who is back in the Gauzy Girl Theatre and is being chewed out by the skeletal man.}

XAVIER: Sir, it was a mistake, we can still make that money back, I just have to-

????: 'Tis pathetic! How could one lose such money to a bunch of frauds? Do you think that the D'Arques got where we were by letting others take advantage of our folk?

XAVIER: No, sir. It is simply a setback.

????: Th're is nothing simple about it! You brought me back from mine own slumber to aid you in your pursuit of power, and yet you appear incapable of carrying out tasks.

{The skeletal man sighs and his bones begin to creak. Droll appears, with a cup of coffee.}

DROLL: A refreshment, Sir Debonair.

{The skeletal man takes the cup and takes a sip. The coffee can be seen moving down his throat and through his body as it spills onto the floor.}

DEBONAIR: Thank you, my dearest Droll. Even a goblin can do this better than you.

XAVIER: I beseech you, sir. Tell me what I must do next.

DEBONAIR: You need to find the ones responsible, and you need to take revenge. Onwards with ye!

{Debonair points to the door. Xavier bows and leaves the theatre, where Stephanie is waiting outside.}

STEPHANIE: Did the meeting go as expected?

XAVIER: It went fine. Do you have any new information on the thieves?

STEPHANIE: Miss Rosenberg sent me this.

{Stephanie pulls out her tablet, showing a screenshot of Lex and Chaos stealing from the vault room in their disguises. Xavier snatches the tablet and looks at it.}

XAVIER: Huh. The Drow was correct. They do look sort of like the Village People.

{Xavier cackles. Cut to Noelle at her office. Her phone rings, and she goes to pick it up.}

NOELLE: Hello?

{Some noises come from the phone.}

NOELLE: You're here for Mayor Meier about a pizza he ordered?

{Noelle gets up from her chair, then turns her head towards Mayor Meier's office.}

NOELLE: That pizza you ordered is here, sir!

{Mayor Meier departs from the office.}

MAYOR: You're the best, Noelle!

{Mayor Meier runs offscreen.}

NOELLE: Yeah, he'll be down to see you in a bit. Farewell.

{Noelle hangs up. Her eyelids lower.}

NOELLE: Uneventful. Well, I suppose it's better than-

{The phone rings again.}

TO BE ADDED LATER

{Some time passes by, before a black car passes by Leigh. The front window rolls down to reveal a half-gold, half-black dragon operating the vehicle.}

??????: I heard about what happened.

LEIGH: Go away.

??????: I understand that D'Arque was abusive to you? One of my employees has been causing quite a stir and told me about a human who was fanatical about drow culture.

{Leigh cocks a brow.}

LEIGH: Someone actually thinks I'm a human?

{The dragon looks Leigh up and down.}

??????: I'm concerned for my subordinate's sanity.

LEIGH: Why are you talking to me of all humans, though?

??????: Because one of your friends, an Orc, is also tweeting about it right now. I have sent my subordinate's brass to interact with him.

LEIGH: All this trouble, over me?

??????: I understand you're not in the best of moods. But I, Xiorno, the Duke of Oil and Time, am here to assist you.

{A business card is given to Leigh.}