Difference between revisions of "RiffText/Green Grass and High Tides Forever!/0"

Revision as of 23:17, 11 November 2013

If you translate this message, I will send Iori to your house and he will steal your cheese.

LIGHTNING GUY: (For those of you with browsers that can actually display Wingdings, the message here is: "If you translate this message, I will send Iori to your house and he will steal your cheese.")
LIGHTNING GUY: (Oh wait.)

GREEN GRASS AND HIGH TIDES FOREVER

CD-I MARIO: Nice of the princess to invite us over for a picnic, eh Luigi?

CD-I LUIGI: I hope she made lotsa- {intterupted}

LIGHTNING GUY: {intterupted} sounds like a delicious dish.

PATRICK: {singing} GREEN GRASS AND HIGH TIDES FOREVER!

CD-I LUIGI: Hey, you interupted my line!

LIGHTNING GUY: I guess it's better than him interrupting your line!
LIGHTNING GUY: Seriously, how many different ways can you misspell "interrupted"?

PATRICK: So what? Everyone knows what you're going to say anyway.

CD-I LUIGI: True.

{Iori falls from the top of the screen}

LIGHTNING GUY: Hey, there are worse ways to introduce a character! Just kidding. There are no worse ways to introduce a character.

IORI: There goes my leg.

CD-I MARIO: Who's this guy?!?!

IORI: A guy who has a broken leg.

LIGHTNING GUY: Well, there you go!

PATRICK: Is anyone on?

LIGHTNING GUY: Crack? Most likely.

RYAN: I'm so rich! I have won the lottery!

IORI: Hey, Ree-an!

PATRICK: It's pronounced Ryan.

LIGHTNING GUY: IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE MISPRONOUNCED A NAME

IORI: I mean Ryan!

CD-I MARIO: Is that a letter over there?

DR. SEUSS: Over where? Is it taped to the door? Is it resting on the floor? Is it floating in the air?

PATRICK: Yes, it's from Bowser, telling you that he took over the Mushroom Kingdom, stole the princess, blah blah blah, hotels, blah blah blah.

{The Daleks come, and blast a few objects.}

LIGHTNING GUY: This riff is in memory of those brave "a few objects" who lost their lives at the hands of murderous, unoriginal characters.

DALEK: OBEY US, OR RISK BEING EXTERMINATED!!!

{the Daleks explode}

LIGHTNING GUY: Capitalization? F. Punctuation? F. Congratulations! You get to take English 101 again! And for double the price!

IORI: Ha ha!

{More Daleks come.}

LIGHTNING GUY: Where are these Daleks coming from, anyway? Are they dropping from the sky like I-bore-i did?

DALEK: Iori Yagami! Prepare to be exterminated! {Shoots him.}

IORI: {parrys}

LIGHTNING GUY: Hey! Where's Parry?

Ha ha! {Dalek shoots him again} And now I'm a pile of ash.

DALEK: You King of Fighters characters are good for only one thing. DYING!!!

IORI: Wrong Iori, man.

LIGHTNING GUY: Yes, because Iori Yagami is such a common name.

CD-I MARIO: Can somebody please tell me what's happening?

IORI: Madness.

LIGHTNING GUY: No.

300 GUY: Madness?

LIGHTNING GUY: Don't.

THIS, IS,

LIGHTNING GUY: Killing me.

SPARTA! {kicks Iori into a pit}

SHAO KAHN: Fatality!

DALEK: EXTERMINATE!!!!! {Shoots Shao Kahn, and the YTP People. Starts to sing ABBA songs.} Mamma Mia! Here I go again!

LIGHTNING GUY: what is this i don't even

JAREK (MORTAL KOMBAT): {comes in, punches Dalek} THE BLACK DRAGON WILL LIVE ON! {gets shot}

KANO (MORTAL KOMBAT): {comes in with a gun} That's for replacing me in Mortal Kombat 4!

{Both of them get Exterminated.}

LIGHTNING GUY: With whatever was left of my sanity.

DALEK: WHO IS NEXT IN MY ETERNAL REIGN OF DESTRUCTION?

KANO: {comes back to life}

LIGHTNING GUY: NO YOU CAN'T DO THAT THAT IS NOT HOW NATURE WORKS

PATRICK: YOU CAN NEVER KILL KANO!

KANO: {shoots Dalek}

LIGHTNING GUY: WHY IS IT FORMATTED LIKE DIALOGUE IF HE DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING

{The Muffin of D00M walks by, and bashes Kano's knees in with a silver bat; Kano recovers}

LIGHTNING GUY: THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS WRONG WITH THIS I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START

DALEK: Shooting me will do nothing. My armour is as hard as... well.. It's the hardest metal ever. {Kills Kano again.}

KANO: {comes back to life} You know, I could do that all day if I have to. {kills Dalek somehow}

LIGHTNING GUY: "I'd tell you what he did, but that would require, like, creativity and thinking and stuff like that. La-ame."

DALEK: {Comes back to life.} What? If you can do it, I can!

{The Cybermen come, and the Daleks and the Cybermen start a war.}

LIGHTNING GUY: What? You can't just start a war whenever you want without going through any kind of process! Who do you think you are? The United States of America?

KANO: You all explode now. {Cybermen and Daleks explode, and Kano makes the sandbox Doctor Who-proof}

{They come back, and all kill Kano.}

LIGHTNING GUY: Why do you keep killing Kano? He'll just come back again!

DALEK: Doctor Who proof? Ha! We are not the Doctor!

LIGHTNING GUY: because the doctor is the only character on doctor who

You have just made our enemy unable to come here. Now.. {Makes the Sandbox Kano Proof.}

KANO: {comes back; makes the Sandbox Dalek and Cybermen proof}

LIGHTNING GUY: STOP DOING DIALOGUE LINES WITHOUT DIALOGUE

PATRICK: YOU CAN NEVER BAN KANO FROM ANYTHING!

CYBERMAN: Okay, this is boring me now. {Everyone starts dancing. "Waterloo" from Abba plays.}

SEPHIROTH: Whoa. What the {BEEP} is happening here!?

LIGHTNING GUY: {BEEP}ed if I know.

IORI: Madness.

PATRICK: Hey, I thought you were kicked into a pit!

IORI: I had an extra guy!

LIGHTNING GUY: THAT IS NOT HOW NATURE WORKS

CD-I MARIO: Argh! I can't take this anymore! {jumps into pit}

SHAO KAHN: Hara Kiri!

IORI: I thought that guy was killed!

LIGHTNING GUY: You just saw twenty people get resurrected and you're choosing to question this guy's mortality?

PATRICK: Maybe he had an extra guy too.

IORI: Wow, this hasn't been edited in a while.

LIGHTNING GUY: LEAVE IT THAT WAY! FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY JUST LEAVE IT THAT WAY!

SMW CARTOON LUIGI: Ah! Somebody help me! Some guy named Kano is trying to kill me! And I think he's winning!

IORI: I'll save you, Luigi!

SMW CARTOON LUIGI: That's Mama Luigi to you, redhair!

LIGHTNING GUY: That...may be the worst insult in the history of insults.

IORI: {bored look} Of course. Hey Kano, he's over here!

SMW CARTOON LUIGI: AH! Help! Help!

LIGHTNING GUY: No. I want you to suffer.

{Luigi gets Zapped by the Dalek.}

DALEK: EXTERMINATE!!!!

{Dalek explodes because he was banned from teh sandbox}

LIGHTNING GUY: This riff is in memory of that brave, murderous, unoriginal character who lost his life getting banned from a "teh sandbox".

KANO: Crap! HE WAS MINE!

IORI: Hey Luigi, you're a pile of ash too!

LIGHTNING GUY: You're a pile of ash. I'm a pile of ash. Let's get together and have black, charry ash-sex.

{Dalek explosion was just a decoy.}

DALEK: Foolish Mortal! You can not ban the most superior race in the universe! {Zaps Kano.}

KANO: {comes back to life} Yes I can. {Dalek explodes}

LIGHTNING GUY: From magic!

SMW CARTOON BOWSER: Attack, my Bullet Bills- er, Magnum Bills- er, whatever you are right now!

KANO: {shoots laser at SMWCB and his 'Bills}

LIGHTNING GUY: It's all about them dollar 'Bills, baby.

{Dalek comes back.}

DALEK: YOUR FOOLISH ATTEMPTS AT DESTROYING ME ARE JUST AS PATHETIC AS YOUR ATTEMPTS AT LIVING.

LIGHTNING GUY: SO I'M JUST GOING TO KEEP KILLING YOU UNTIL THE LAWS OF NATURE START TO WORK

DESTROY THE FOOL NAMED BOWSER! {Zaps Bowser, and kills him.}

KANO: Did you just help me kill Bowser?

DALEK: I JUST HATE BOWSER AND HIS CHILDREN.

LIGHTNING GUY: "HIS CHILDREN ESPECIALLY, THOSE LITTLE REPTILIAN BASTARDS."

KANO: I see. But I seem to like two of them.

DALEK: Whatever.

PATRICK: {singing} GREEN GRASS AND HIGH TIDES FOREVER!

LIGHTNING GUY: No forever! Make it end!

ZIPPY: {visibly drunk} A rolling stone collects no moss. Whee!

PATRICK: Why are you visibly drunk?

LIGHTNING GUY: Because if he was invisibly drunk, you couldn't see him make a fool of himself.

ZIPPY: It turns out five pints of whiskey does a good night make! Whee!

{Zippy falls down some stairs.}

IORI: Wow, that has got to be painfull.

LIGHTNING GUY: "My name's not Painfull, it's Zippy."

Hey Luigi, you're still a pile of ash!

LIGHTNING GUY: In other news, the Earth is still turning!

SMW CARTOON LUIGI: Don't remind me.

DALEK: It can't be my fault. When I kill someone, they turn green, and their Skeleton shows through their body in black. Then they disappear.

CHAOS: Well, find a new way to make people die!

LIGHTNING GUY: Preferably one with rainbows.

IORI: Hi, Chey-os!

PATRICK: It's pronounced "Chaos".

LIGHTNING GUY: MISPRONOUNCING NAMES IS STILL FUNNY

IORI: I mean Chaos!

CHAOS: Hi. Now I need to put some VG characters in here...

LIGHTNING GUY: No, you don't! Please do-

{Chaos is suddenly replaced with Emerl and Gemerl from Sonic.}

LIGHTNING GUY: WHYYYY

EMERL: Where are we?

GEMERL: Heaven?

EMERL: But there isn't anything good about this place!

LIGHTNING GUY: Finally, someone who's talking sense around here!

GEMERL: It was a JOKE!

EMERL: Then you're unoriginal.

LIGHTNING GUY: LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT THIS PILOT

KANO: Who the crap are you two?

EMERL: Two people that own.

KANO: Sure, just keep saying that to yourselfs.

LIGHTNING GUY: Me, my selfs, and I.

EMERL: So, where's the pancake supper?

KANO: Uh, it's over there, in that spikey pit. Just jump down there and you'll find it.

EMERL: I'm not going down there.

{The ground comesz

LIGHTNING GUY: No. Just no.

apart and moves under Emerl, and he falls into the pit.}

EMERL: Ow.

SHAO KAHN: Fatality!

KANO: Hey, weren't you horribly mauled by Master Handguy?

LIGHTNING GUY: master who

SHAO KAHN: Yes, but I recovered.

SWM CARTOON YOSHI: Where Luigi is?

LIGHTNING GUY: Where your grammar is?

KANO: He's a pile of ash.

SWM CARTOON YOSHI: Oh no!

KANO: Don't worry, I can fix that.

{skip scenes. SMWCY is also a pile of ash}

LIGHTNING GUY: Should've warned you about that ash-sex.

SWM CARTOON YOSHI: This not what Yoshi had in mind...

KANO: Wow. Sure is quiet 'round here.

GEMERL: THREAT TO CHAOS EMERALDS. AN-LIMITATE!

LIGHTNING GUY: An-scruciating.

{Gemerl's arms turn into machine guns and he rapidly fires anything in sight.}

GEMERL: FATALITY.

{Gemerl explodes}

SHAO KAHN: And that's why you don't steal my catchphrase.

LIGHTNING GUY: That's the moral! Does this mean the episode is over?

{Gemerl reforms.}

LIGHTNING GUY: NOOOOOOOOO

GEMERL: THREAT TO HUMAN SOCIETY! DECLINE!

{Gemerl goes and shoots President Bush.}

LIGHTNING GUY: A lone gunman shooting the most powerful person in the world? IT'S A CONSPIRACY.

GEMERL: OBJECTIVE COMPLETE. {Powers down, and turns back to normal} Well, that was odd.

SHAO KAHN: President Bush is dead? YES! Now I can begin my plan to be the new president of the United States,

LIGHTNING GUY: I'm pretty sure that's not how the line of succession works.

and do some various evil things that will help me rule the entire Earthrealm! Earthrealm will be mine! Wait, did I say that out loud?

GEMERL: Can I be your VP?

SHAO KAHN: No. That title goes to Shang Tsung.

SHANG TSUNG: Thank you, Shao Ka- {intterupted}

LIGHTNING GUY: I've had enough {intterupted} for one day, thank you.

SHAO KAHN: Yeahshutup.

IORI: Hey Yoshi, you're a pile of ash!

SWM CARTOON YOSHI: Don't remind Yoshi.

GEMERL: Well, then I've got nothing better to do. {Pulls out an iPod and and crushes it.} I'll set the world record for most destroyed iPods!

LIGHTNING GUY: First you kill the president, and now you're killing iPods? Have you no shame?

STRONG SAD: {walks by with his iPod}

LIGHTNING GUY: OH COME ON

GEMERL: {Arms turn back into Machine guns} RELIEVE YOUR PORTABLE MUSIC DEVICE! {Blasts the iPod apart, then kicks Strong Sad out of the atmosphere. He then returns to normal.} that's 2!

KANO: Uh, you do know that you probably already have the record for most broken/crushed/destroyed iPods, right? Those things are just too good to break.

LIGHTNING GUY: That's not gratuitous advertising whatsoever.

GEMERL: I hate iPods, what with their giving you finger cancer,

LIGHTNING GUY: which is totally a thing,

and their expensive prices, and their stupid broken battery signals.

KANO: Meh. ...Ha, you guys are piles of ash!

IORI, SMWCL, SMWCY: Don't remind us.

LIGHTNING GUY: They then proceed to have a hot ash-sex threesome.

{Strong Sad falls back onto the ground.}

DALEK: Strong Sad! EXTERMINATE!! {Shoots Strong Sad, and kills him.}

NELSON: Ha ha!

LIGHTNING GUY: Murder is funny! And so are random guest appearances!

GEMERL: Well, With my rise to stardom complete...{opens Guiness Book of World Records with a picture of him in it.}

LIGHTNING GUY: That totally was added between the time you crushed those iPods thirty seconds ago and now.

I guess I need something to do.

PATRICK: {singing} GREEN GRASS AND HIGH TIDES FOREVER!

LIGHTNING GUY: {singing} WE'RE RANDOM ALL THE TIME AND WE DO SPELL CHECKS NEVER!

GEMERL: Shut it off, you. {Blasts Patrick offscreen}

{Chaos comes back in.}

CHAOS: Pointless Cameo!

LIGHTNING GUY: why the hell not

{Chaos disappears.}

DALEK: I bet you guys don't even know what we look like!

LIGHTNING GUY: And we don't even care!

CYBERMAN: Neither with us.

DALEK: If we had emotions, we'd cry. We are emotionless, and that makes me really sad.

SEPHIROTH: Hey!

LIGHTNING GUY: What a wonderful kind of day!

DALEK: SILENCE!! {Shoots Sephiroth.}

PATRICK: {shouts at the top of his lungs} GREEN GRASS AND HIGH TIDES FOREVER!

GEMERL: {shouts at the top of his lungs} SHUT IT OFF YOU! {Throws a missile at Patrick, it blows up all of the Wiki Users} Well, that's taken care of! {Holds up Book of World Records, The Title of the record is "Most Wiki Users killed in one shot." He is in the picture again}

LIGHTNING GUY: I don't think Guinness World Records would promote genocide.

KANO: {shoots a laser at Gemerl; Gemerl explodes} Let me guess, Gemerl's going to come back?

DALEK: Probably.

LIGHTNING GUY: no

GEMERL: Affirmative.

LIGHTNING GUY: NO

DALEK: Yep.

KANO: AAAAAARGH! GEMERL, I'D STRANGLE YOU!

LIGHTNING GUY: but i can't because i'd break a nail

GEMERL: I has no human neck.

KANO: AND THAT'S WHY I CAN'T!

PATRICK: Hey, you stole my "has" joke!

LIGHTNING GUY: "I HAS ORIGINATED THE HAS JOKE SO YOU HAS NOT BETTER USE IT EVER. HAS."

DALEK: Here's a picture of me!

IORI: Ah. But how can you talk if you don't have a mouth?

LIGHTNING GUY: It talks out of its anus, obvi.

DALEK: We don't need mouths! ....I don't know.

SMW CARTOON LUIGI: Can somebody help us?

LIGHTNING GUY: NO

DALEK: Shuttup. This is us talking.

GEMERL: We robots have voice transistors. Hey, has anyone seen Emerl? I don't remember what happened after we showed up.

{Cut to Emerl in the hole.}

LIGHTNING GUY: Not just any hole! The hole!

EMERL: Hello? I need to get out of here! Gemerl? Guys? I need help!

DALEK: I would help you, but I have no arms, and I can't fly.

GEMERL: I have a jet-pack, but I don't care that badly.

LIGHTNING GUY: Apathy! Get it at your local Tides R Us!

SMW CARTOON LUIGI: Somebody help us! We don't want to be piles of ash anymore!

GEMERL: Okay! {Turns his arm into a vaccum cleaner,

LIGHTNING GUY: Vac-cum cleaner? Sounds naughty.

and hits reverse. The ashes of all the SMW characters blow away, forever.}

PATRICK: Hey, Iori was one of the pile of ashes! Bring him back! Because I'm too lazy to do that myself.

GEMERL: Than who's that? {points to Iori, who is next to Kano.}

PATRICK: Oh, I forgot that he wasn't a pile of ash anymore.

IORI: Hey juys!

LIGHTNING GUY: "I'm cool because I replace letters in words that make the words sound nothing like they did before!"

GEMERL: Well, that was anticlimactic. What do we do now?

PATRICK: Wait until we make the actual series?

GEMERL: I guess I'll save Emerl, then we can have a dance pawty?

LIGHTNING GUY: Not until you clean up that vac-cum.

{Gemerl hops in the hole and saves Emerl.}

EMERL: DANCE PAWTY TIME!

{Everyone dances like crazy, and the screen fades to black.}

LIGHTNING GUY: One down. Nine to go. {groans} Why did I come back to this?