Remolay Reviews Random Shit/Hammerfight

Hammerfight is a game I don't remember getting, Apparently it was in the humble indie bundle 3, which I think I got as a gift. I didn't bother playing it until several months ago and I didn't get what the hell I was doing. I reinstalled it today to see if anything has gotten any better. Here's how it went down.

Hammerfight seems to take place in a post apocalyptic future where everyone is a wooden helicopter and the only sport is attaching a hammer to yourself and swinging it rather ineffectively to try to hit another wooden helicopter. It would make a terrible movie, but if explained by someone who is sane sounds like it would make an amazing game. I can't be certain, but I think this is basically how the story goes. You have to swing your hammer to beat up someone else.

You get various different hammers with which to beat up your enemies with, but as I stated before, these swung hammers are a very ineffective weapon. It is incredibly difficult to get a hit on your enemy intentionally. In fact, it's easier to get yourself hit on the hammer of your enemy. They also appear to have thrown weapons, which you most definitely do not have. You also have a "Combine" Button, but using it brings up another button saying "Combine with what" Which is exactly what I was thinking. I'm not sure what that button even begins to do, but it's not combining me with shit.

Now, ask me how many fights I've been able to get through.

2. Not counting the tutorial that tells you "Move your mouse to do stuff" and that's it.

By the way, moving your mouse is basically the only control you have. You swing your hammer with the physics of the air around you from moving your helicopter ass. This is of course why it is so incredibly easy to hit yourself on the hammer of your enemy.

The only way to get anywhere in this game is to instantly be an expert. It is so difficult on the path that DOESN'T say hard that I want to punch the next person who says that I'm not ready for something.

If I had to say one good thing about this game it's that I like the HP bar, it looks like a speedometer or gas gauge in a car. That said, I hate that it looks like that as well, because it goes down in the opposite way of which one would expect a speedometer and gas gauge.

This game gets a 0 out of 5. God dammit. Why.